Yahoo Lifestyle My Lungs Are Physically Sore From Laughing So Hard At The 50 Funniest Tweets From The Month
Folks, I can't believe summer 2024 is coming to an end already — what a chaotic three months it has been. Before we head into September, let's have one last laugh at the funniest tweets from August.
1.
I stepped on a couple of leaves this morning and they crunched!! pic.twitter.com/tBa99btTiw
— COTUS (@PirateCoop) August 21, 2024
@PirateCoop
2.
Guess I’ll have to: https://t.co/WTbv8jZkTM pic.twitter.com/kCOGGMAJbK
— Fairy_duststash☀️ (@fairy_duststash) August 26, 2024
@fairy_duststash
3.
In junior high I had a crush on a guy on my swim team whose legs looked like this but my friends and I didn't know his name so we called him "white feet" pic.twitter.com/M4YOf8ZAub
— non sequitur (@deeshka) August 7, 2024
@deeshka
4.
there’s a carousel in Harlem where they designed the animals after children’s drawings and I need someone to check on this kid pic.twitter.com/fjpH09kyrb
— trash jones (@jzux) August 20, 2024
@jzux
5.
There’s a light projection of Steve Harvey over Atlanta right now and I have no clue why pic.twitter.com/r3Z7Vnua6t
— David Dennis Jr. (@DavidDTSS) August 24, 2024
@DavidDTSS
6.
Today at Ft Lauderdale Airport, the man in a nearby stall was muttering “God’s got this” before throwing his belt off. I don’t know what toilet emergency was burdening him, but I wish him the best, as I know we all do. pic.twitter.com/Og7eiVg31a
— Andrew Farmer (@thatsajellyfish) August 17, 2024
@thatsajellyfish
7.
Anything for democracy I guess...😂 https://t.co/sy3ksy1DbR
— kerry washington (@kerrywashington) August 20, 2024
@kerrywashington
8.
Fuck you too!! That's why you getting ate first 🤨 pic.twitter.com/KythZTWt3r
— Hennessey James (@_EricLamarBeatz) August 27, 2024
@_EricLamarBeatz
9.
A female coworker told me she’s aroused by my mind, then proceeded to explain that it’s because she’s a psychologist and finds psychopaths fascinating. Now, hold up, heifer. pic.twitter.com/qgdMMsdlGr
— 𝗛𝗼𝗺𝗼 𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗿𝘂𝘀 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿 (@BDMNRS) August 14, 2024
@BDMNRS
10.
My husband met us at the park and surprised me with a large iced coffee and I didn't have the heart to tell him I just had a large iced coffee so now I'm vibrating and going to piss myself
— h🦋 (@tinotonitini_) August 24, 2024
@tinotonitini_
11.
when i’m out of gossip pic.twitter.com/BP57EuOurk
— character actress georgie rae (@georgie_rae_) August 20, 2024
@georgie_rae_
12.
If I were Jordan Chiles n nem I’d tell the Olympics my Momma got the Medal now. Cus you KNOW once yo momma get ahold to your accolades, they ain’t goin NOWHERE! pic.twitter.com/wzWO20QcIr
— Cindy Noir✨ (@thecindynoir) August 10, 2024
Hulu / @thecindynoir
13.
julio died or something??? pic.twitter.com/YPy7TfwMkw
— CurtiMagurtti (@__Curtdoggg) August 23, 2024
@__Curtdoggg
14.
My mom banned me from making bread so now I have to make it in secret when she’s at work and stash it in my room pic.twitter.com/ayVBTnajIZ
— twk (@CRGCALS) August 26, 2024
@CRGCALS
15.
Today I went to the bank and asked if they had an atm. The guy said they had a drive thru. I said oh I walked here. He said that’s fine. I had to wait in line behind a car like this 🧍🏻♀️
— naomi (@lachancenaomi27) August 26, 2024
@lachancenaomi27
16.
Ingrown hair is so childish to me because why are you actually trapped?Be grown & push through without causing a scene.
— Jacen Bowman (@JacenBowman) August 19, 2024
@JacenBowman
17.
went to the park to ponder only to find 4 other dudes already pondering there pic.twitter.com/Q8rPXP3pgI
— royse (@Roysenotes) August 21, 2024
@Roysenotes
18.
before dudes kiss u they give u this look pic.twitter.com/BpRhjxNdUJ
— ☔ (@Whotfismick) August 24, 2024
Pixar / @Whotfismick
19.
American culture funny asl mfs really say “how you doing” and walk off 💀
— fatou (@VICKIAHNA) August 19, 2024
@VICKIAHNA
20.
Me: We really need to be better about our language around the kids.Husband: why?3 year old snuggles down on the couch with a blanket: *whispers* this is cozy as fuck. Husband: I see.
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) August 23, 2024
@oneawkwardmom
21.
when the waiter brings out the fajitas pic.twitter.com/6b30ftHVbJ
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) August 21, 2024
@alyssalimp
22.
Closed captioning could not handle Pete Buttigieg saying his own last name pic.twitter.com/E5EVyJadeJ
— Frank Lesser (@sadmonsters) August 22, 2024
@sadmonsters
23.
Me (lying next to 4yo as he falls asleep, thinking about the brevity of life and trying to impress this very moment in my memory for when he is grown): I love you4yo (whispering very softly): Daddy you need a mint
— Matt (@scriptumsent) August 22, 2024
@scriptumsent
24.
Visiting Italy 💚🤍♥️ so beautiful. Such a different way of life vs America pic.twitter.com/IFGOhWwwY2
— please be nice to patrick (@ruff_bluffs) August 26, 2024
@ruff_bluffs
25.
im crying i ordered a turtle pineapple bun at dim sum and ten mins later the waitress comes out apologizing profusely like "we're so sorry it came out really ugly. do you want it still we'll give it to you for free" YES OF COURSE anyway i love him. he was delicious pic.twitter.com/7hmkteKMX2
— leander! (@heroleanders) August 16, 2024
@heroleanders
26.
last night there was a party in my apartment and while i was making a sandwich in the kitchen someone i don't know came up to me and said "are you allowed to do that"
— Dirk Fuckner 🚯 (@timerube) August 18, 2024
@/timerube
27.
never making a typo again smh pic.twitter.com/bQA9rGCnrH
— limp brittzkit (@Brittymigs) August 15, 2024
@Brittymigs
28.
ill bet sour cream and salsa dont really like eachother on a personal level but when they get in the studio together its undeniable
— paddle (@ipaddlearound) August 13, 2024
@ipaddlearound
29.
growing up there was a cody in every elementary school class but as an adult i haven’t met a cody in years. where did they go
— campbell g (@rodeoman) August 13, 2024
@rodeoman
30.
Never losing my airpods again pic.twitter.com/MXmDr4WcOu
— Pablo Rochat (@PabloRochat) August 8, 2024
@PabloRochat
31.
I recently taught my kiddo how to make my iced coffee bc she loves to be involved- it’s always made so well & the other day something just felt off- this morning she made my coffee & while she was doing the espresso she said “sometimes you need extra energy.. so I do 4 scoops”
— ❀ 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚢𝚢 ❀ (@Stonedwifeyy) August 18, 2024
@Stonedwifeyy
32.
body so tea boston had a party for it
— Joy (@cyncl3r) August 20, 2024
@cyncl3r
33.
When I was arguing with Amazon about a missing parcel and they asked me to provide a photo. pic.twitter.com/IiNq23pvJj
— Vitt (@vitt2tsnoc) August 18, 2024
@vitt2tsnoc
34.
I feel like this was fate pic.twitter.com/uN4MKrPAAm
— Helen Ingram (@drhingram) August 18, 2024
@drhingram
35.
Need a new dining table for my apartment. Might fuck around and get the og. Pregames would go so hard with one of these. pic.twitter.com/GWfU77sLU1
— Nick Watts (@NICKWATTS__) August 18, 2024
@NICKWATTS__/
36.
Why holding it like a new apartment key? 😭😭 https://t.co/zBk68OxZw9
— Heisjayy 𝕏 (@Jayysen_) August 16, 2024
@Jayysen_
37.
See how I didn’t take my full shot of tequila because I know I’d throw up? Very mindful, very demure
— Natalie (@jbfan911) August 18, 2024
@jbfan911
38.
Went to my buddy’s house and he thought this absolute monster was gonna slip by without further inquiry pic.twitter.com/1erZU8Ifrb
— Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) August 12, 2024
@ItsDanSheehan
39.
Uh oh washing machine has gone woke pic.twitter.com/h1yvue1EEt
— Katie MacBride (@msmacb) August 12, 2024
@msmacb
40.
Me when a friend says “can I say something mean?” pic.twitter.com/XVyGkfYAMV
— sam greisman (@SAMGREIS) August 11, 2024
CSPAN / @SAMGREIS
41.
When i hear my man having fun without me pic.twitter.com/qFoEeXB2KA
— BIG ROCKII (@RockiiiiRoadd) August 8, 2024
NBC / @RockiiiiRoadd
42.
chappell roan sounds like a catholic school in northeast with a decent football team
— 🚬 (@qnorapname_) August 13, 2024
@qnorapname_
43.
Those animals don’t even hang out together this is fucking nuts https://t.co/KO6w926yxB
— Austine (@theereal_one) August 2, 2024
@theereal_one
44.
“Taco Bell isn’t even good” Yeah I know. Sometimes the raccoon inside of me craves garbage. Leave me & my Crunchwrap alone
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) August 5, 2024
@megannn_lynne
45.
If I was told told to return my Olympic medal….yeah sure I’d give it back….but I’d be on the plane before they realize it’s cake idgaf
— jat (@whotheheckisjat) August 11, 2024
@whotheheckisjat
46.
Just put another patty on it dawg stop playin wit me pic.twitter.com/roQ9pbEMs2
— ʰ (@easterngoblin) August 2, 2024
@easterngoblin
47.
Last time I visited my dentist I noticed that his light looks just like a water buffalo… pic.twitter.com/1BA6JALDKT
— Mothra P.I. (@Hardywolf359) August 5, 2024
@Hardywolf359
48.
getting crunk off the bob tonight 🙏🏻🙏🏻 pic.twitter.com/kniQG1FFHE
— pita al-gaib (@garlicpitachips) August 9, 2024
@garlicpitachips
49.
Its going to be 33 degrees tomorrow. Perfect conditions for sitting in front of a computer screen all day and making money for a giant corporation if you ask me.
— Mike Townsend (@townsendyesmate) August 11, 2024
@townsendyesmate
50.
Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to take PTO
— Natalie (@jbfan911) August 13, 2024
@jbfan911
Which tweet made you laugh in this month's roundup? Let us know your favorites in the comments below, and we'll see you back here in September!
