Bride's Future Mother-in-Law Orders Bridesmaid Dress for Herself Behind Her Back: 'It Makes Me So Upset'

The bride's fiancé and his mother argue that she is actually the one who is in the wrong

• A soon-to-be bride has a dream dress color scheme for her wedding, which requires her bridesmaids to wear dusty pink while mothers wear dark pink.

• But the bride's future mother-in-law liked the bridesmaid dresses better, so she ordered one for herself behind the bride's back.

• Now, the bride's fiancé and his mother are saying that she is the one causing family friction over the dress.

Dress drama is creating a divide between a bride-to-be and her future mother-in-law.

In a post on Reddit's popular "Am I the A------?" forum, a bride getting married in May asked Reddit users to weigh in on whether or not she is in the wrong over a dress dilemma. She explained that she plans to have her bridesmaids wear a dusty pink dress. Meanwhile, the mothers and grandmothers will wear dresses in a darker shade of pink.

"I told her she could pick her own style dress but that’s the color I would like for it to be," the bride said of her soon-to-be mother-in-law. "She was OK with it but then starts scrolling online."

The mother-in-law originally showed the bride a dress that fit the color scheme, and they were both happy with it. But then she continued to look for alternative dresses, and happened to find the exact dusty pink dress the bride picked out for her bridesmaids.

"I politely tell her that's the dress I picked out for the bridesmaids [and to] please pick something else," the bride wrote.

Later that day, the two went to a gaming bar to celebrate the birthday of the bride's fiancé's brother. While the bride was in the bathroom, the mother-in-law showed the groom-to-be the two dresses — the dusty pink bridesmaid dress and the darker dress — and asked him to pick which one looks best.

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"When I came out, he picked the bridesmaid dress that I had shown him and clearly told her no to," the bride explained. "And she had agreed with him and ordered the dress."

With the wedding only six months away, the bride said she is now "scrambling" and "struggling" to find a new dress and color for her bridesmaids since her mother-in-law ordered her dream dress.

"I spoke to my mom and my bridesmaids, and tried to go back to the drawing board but just thinking about it makes me so upset," she wrote.

The bride spoke with her future mother-in-law about the issue, but she told her that the dress was already on the way and that she doesn't have enough money to order another one.

"Kinda making me feel bad and guilty over it," the bride continued in her post. "But each time I look for another dress it’s like I had my mind set on that one for them and now I have to figure it out."

When she vented about it to her partner of 12 years, he wasn't sympathetic.

"He tells me why am I being so difficult and tells me it’s just a dress and is annoyed by me bringing it up," the woman wrote, noting that her fiancé eventually agreed to ask his mother to find another dress but only because she keeps "complaining about it."

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She continued: "But I’m like, I showed you what everybody was going to wear so we can match accordingly. Why would you even agree to it knowing that’s the dress I picked for them? He claimed he forgot and apparently I’m being the problem… and causing friction."

Commenters on Reddit determined that the bride is not in the wrong.

"MIL intentionally asked someone else after you had told her no, which directly undermined you," one person commented. "This behavior from MIL reminds me of a child who asked one parent a question, received a response they didn’t like and then went to the other for a more favorable answer."

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Similarly, another person wrote: "MIL knew exactly what she was doing. She waited until you went to the bathroom so she could ask her son. I would bet that she led him to choose that particular dress. She knew that it was the [bridesmaid] dress and decided to use this as some sort of power play. She probably hoped that you would make it a whole deal so she could say you were the one who was overreacting, how it's his wedding too, and make the point of how he is the one who chose the dress FOR her and not the other way around."

Other commenters also pointed out that the mother-in-law could likely return the bridesmaid dress once she receives it, which would allow her to afford to buy a different dress.