A bride has revealed just how far she’s willing to go in order to ‘motivate’ her guests to dig deep and help her reach her wedding gift ‘donation’ goal of USD$30,000.
In a Facebook post shared to Reddit, the bride implores invitees to sympathise with her and her husband-to-be who she says have been left ‘depressed’ due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
“Pleaaaaase have a bit of empathy for [groom] and I because COVID and its nonsense has actually added depression into our lives.
“So we really need y’all to open your wallets and just give a little bit.”
That ‘little bit’ needs to amount to the couple’s $20k minimum ‘monetary goal’ which the bride claims will largely be put toward ‘food, drinks and fun’ on the big day itself.
“Ladies and gentlemen, most of this money will help cover the cost of this amazing wedding and goes right back to you.
“This is for YOU.”
Not only are guests expected to pay for the event, but the bride also wants them to cough up for a month-long raunchy European honeymoon as well.
“Ideally y’all will donate upwards of $30,000 so [groom] and I can spend a month travelling, bar hopping, swinging and more in Europe,” she wrote.
In an effort to squeeze every last cent out of her guests, the bride goes on to detail some rather X-rated rewards awaiting those who give generously. Of course, the ‘value’ of the so-called reward depends on the amount donated, as the bride explains: “As a bit of a motivator we have decided on some guest giving tiers.”
Donors of up to $1,000 will receive a thank you card with a ‘kiss stain’ signature from the bride, while those guests who give between $1k - $1.5k qualify for the kiss thank you card and the bride’s wedding thong.
This is where things start to get really steamy. A $1.5k to $2.5k donation will earn you a night with the newlyweds who will hand-feed you Lindt chocolates and a ‘bottle of Barefoot Wine’.
Guests who chip in $2,500 to $3,500 will be treated to a ‘ceremony of appreciation’ with the happy couple — but you have to be 18 years or older to attend.
Those who qualify for the second-last tier (for donations of $3,500 to $5,000) are invited to join the bride and groom on their honeymoon but, don’t get any funny ideas as the lucky guest ‘will sleep on the couch’.
Finally, guests who splurge on $5,000 to $6,500 can expect the ‘ultimate prize’ which involves a “weekend getaway with [groom] and I where we drown you in affection and spoil you.”
The bride’s bizarre and downright raunchy demands sent Reddit users into a spin, with many taking to the comments to share their disbelief.
“I'm sorry, is this an auction of prostitution?” asked one.
“This is a different level of entitlement altogether. She wants wedding gifts, 30k and large housewarming gifts??” wrote another.
They went on: “That doesn’t even take into account she’s offering to trade her used underwear and sexual favours to her friends and family for donations.
“What the actual f*** is wrong with her?”
Others were still grappling with the bride’s shocking money-making scheme.
“I wasn't prepared for the ‘pay us to f*** us’ part. Did I misread that? Did the ‘swinging’ line put my mind in the gutter? And now I remembered the thong...” one wrote.
“I read it the way you read it. Ewww. Tasteless on every level,” another replied.
Some suspected that the entire post was made up.
“Gotta be satire. Just has to be,” one declared.
“Strongly suspect this is fake or trolling,” another added.
Regardless, people were still oddly fascinated with the story, with many comparing the revenue-raising strategy to crowd-funding sites and OnlyFans, a platform popular with adult entertainers.
“Is this a wedding or a kickstarter?” one asked.
“Did this b*tch just try to OnlyFans her own wedding?” added another.
Others couldn’t get over the quality of the rewards on offer, particularly the cheap booze and chocolates.
“Okay, obviously this is all hilariously terrible, but can we appreciate that the wine and chocolate prize for the multi-thousand dollar donation is BAREFOOT wine? Like, the stuff the supermarket puts on the lowest shelf and costs like $5?? You don't even get a good wine!” one pointed out.
“Don't get me wrong, I like Lindt chocolate, but if I'm dropping a few mortgage payments on a wedding gift you can do better than a $5 bag of chocolate,” another added.
One user was just baffled by the logistics of the bride’s wedding thong.
“Thing is, should there be more than one donor in that 'tier', is she going to change underwear throughout the day to make sure everyone has an even amount of wear in their wedding thong?” they mused.