“Big Brother 26” premiere twist turns downgraded players into…mascots?

And then there is a really mean AI named Ainsley, because sure, why not?

Sixteen gluttons for punishment were somehow convinced to enter the Big Brother house on this week's two-part season 26 premiere. And then host Julie Chen Moonves attempted to convince them to add a 17th member to their fold — a member who was actually artificial intelligence masquerading as a surfer girl named Ainsley. (NOTE: I know it doesn't seem like it, but the last sentence is completely 100 percent real, we swear.)

The 16 players actually entered the house over two episodes, with each group of eight having to decide whether to allow an alleged 24-year-old San Diego surf shop employee who loves hanging out at the beach and watching Big Brother to join the game with them. Because neither group was insane, they declined her request, only to then be informed that the entire thing was a ruse anyway and that Ainsley stood for “Artificial Intelligence Network Self-Learning Entity” and that “I am actually BB AI and I have been programmed to control this game this summer.” (Hey, it’s no Time Laser, but whatever.)

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The people that then had voted for Ainsley to enter got to take part in competitions to try and win an “upgrade” prize that would help them in the game, while those party-poopers who wanted no part of the woman who did not actually even exist had to play a “downgrade” competition, with the slowest times in each group getting a punishment.

And finally, after two hours spread over two nights, we learned who those losers and what those punishments were. Chelsie (a 5-foot-2 basketball player) and Cedric (who announced he is looking for a showmance with an older woman) were reduced from players to “BB AI Mascots”…which sounds vaguely demeaning. What it meant is that neither were allowed to partake in the first Head of Household or Power of Veto competitions. Not only that, but they were not granted a vote at the first eviction ceremony. Yet they could still be evicted. So basically, being a BB AI Mascot really, really sucks.

Related: Watch a Big Brother Julie Chen Moonves AI hologram malfunction

On the flip side, Makensy (who informed us “If I need to use a man, a man will be used”) and Quinn (who owns a life-size cardboard cutout of the Zingbot and broke the world record for standing on one leg blindfolded…as one does) were secretly upgraded, and one of them will win something called the “Deep Fake HOH,” while the other will receive a mysterious “America’s Veto.” We have no idea how those work.

But we do know that AI nightmare fuel Ainsley is apparently not done messing with the game. Word is that nominations and evictions are going to work differently this season, and the fact that we have two “mascots” on week 1 could just be the first step in that process. All we really know at this point is that if those mascots are not forced to wear absolutely ridiculous mascot unitards all week, then something is truly amiss.

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