Angie Kent on the MAFS women's 'disappointing' reaction to Holly: 'Dangerous'

Angie Kent is Yahoo Lifestyle's MAFS 2022 columnist! Angie won't hold back on her spicy opinions and insider insights into everything on the controversial reality show.

After last week, I thought to myself… hmm maybe I was a wee bit harsh on some of the blokes on this show in my last article, given I know little to nothing about them other than what I see on a totally edited show.

So let me start off by saying this, these are just my views and opinions based on the edit and based on past behaviours and outcomes I’ve seen from mostly the men who appear on this program. Also, my beliefs from my own experiences with dating on reality TV, how contrasting people CAN be (not all) off-screen compared to on-screen and also the effects of editing/producing. On top of all that, my life experience with patriarchy, toxic gender roles and misogyny generally in this country.

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So with this being said, If you’re offended by what I write, just remember this is my opinion based on my experiences and learnings - not facts. Nor am I declaring these opinions as Bible. So please enter at your own risk.

Tide turns on Tamara

After last week’s article with me ‘taking Tamara’s side’ when she proclaimed that she wants a man with ambition and not have to settle etc. and how I felt she was getting the villain edit. - well didn’t that go down like a led balloon? I was deemed ‘toxic’ because I was siding with another ‘toxic woman’ and things of that nature. I just personally didn’t see why a woman would be deemed the villain just because she had expectations from her partner in the ambitious department.

I get her delivery has been quite rubbish and ruthless. Sure, I am not taking that away. I feel that after she explained why she had such high expectations, it made sense to me. Tamara has been totally let down in the past and has had to carry men who seemingly didn’t hold space for her. That’s what I took from it anyway.

During the commitment ceremony we were made to feel once again that Tamara was in the wrong because she might not be that attracted to Brent. Men do this all the time. It is just jarring because it is rare for a woman to speak her truth because generally she is scared of the complete backlash she will receive from men and the internalised misogyny that absolutely screamed out in our faces this week on MAFS.

One of the experts saying that Tamara needs to praise her man more after their commitment ceremony couch sesh - doesn’t that give you a slight indication where I am coming from here? If not, go do some of your own research because I only have about 1000 or so words to spare each week.

Andrew and Holly's nightmare week

WHAT IN THE HAIRY HELL WAS THIS WEEK? Let's start off with Andrew and Holly at the commitment ceremony. Andrew said they haven’t kissed but they have had sex? So he can totally annihilate Holly and pretty much call her a dud root, say he’s had better sex with a one night stand and when she reacts to this he says ‘I can’t walk around on eggshells caring what people think?’. Can anyone else see how utterly narcissistic, gaslighter-deniar, DARVO behaviour this is?!

The cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity and the gumption. Imagine having that confidence and lack of self-awareness as a cis-straight white man. Making out that Holly was crazy and then to top it all off, wait for it, it gets better, he wants an apology? Then, old mate expert asks Holly why she was screaming this week when Andrew claims she just loses it all the time. Is old mate expert not listening to the same conversation as I am?

The fact Holly wrote stay just goes to show how little self worth she must have in this current s**tshow of a situation. The second hand anxiety I got from watching this ceremony was next level. I can’t believe he wrote leave and then stay, like he is giving her another chance. SHE SHOULD BE THE ONE WHO IS LEAVING OR EXPECTING AN APOLOGY.

I was so disappointed at the other woman's reaction to Holly when she was finally able to enter the dinner party and share her side. In one episode (or edit) alone, I’ve completely changed my mind about Tamara and the majority of the women. The way she took Andrew’s side and bad-mouthed Holly for having too high expectations? Girl, have you met yourself? I stood by her last article saying I totally could see how she masked her insecurities with humour and how she didn’t want a man baby which she is used to ending up with. This episode has made me think very differently. Super disappointed to not see the women stand by Holly. This type of ‘stand by your man’ mentality these women were giving off is totally dangerous.

Holly could not even be around Andrew and the rest of the couples found this immature. And all these men and women saying be the bigger man to Andrew, what does that even mean? Bigger man? Boys club is truly so detrimental. I hope that the men and women who didn’t hear Holly out right away, watch this back and feel truly disappointed about their actions. They should have heard her side before siding with Andrew straight off the bat. Have these women not watched this show before?

I’m so glad Holly stood her ground and didn’t think she would look crazy like most women are afraid of coming across .“Crazy” is typically held in reserve for women’s behaviour. Men might be driven, confused or upset but for some reason they very rarely get called “crazy” — not the way men and a lot of women who carry internalised misogyny reflexively label women. Crazy is one of the men’s favourite words to use to shame women into compliance. What they really mean is, she was upset and I didn’t want her to be and she should just get over it. Because men are so ‘logical’ and women are so ‘emotional’ right?

This episode was super triggering. I’m sorry for anyone who’s been through this and then had to watch it. Is she really crazy bro? Or is she holding you accountable for your actions and you’re terrible at communicating?

Many men are socialised to be disconnected from their emotions and I am truly saddened by that. There’s so many stereotypes with how men and women should behave and I get that men struggle with being disconnected from their true selves. If watching this type of behaviour doesn’t sit well with you in any way then take that as a sign and know that you don’t have to be what you were culturally taught to be. Let's recreate and encourage healthy masculinity. I am down for that.

Alright enough out of me… until next week… EAT- SLEEP -SAGE -REPEAT! X

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