Allison Holker Set to Release Memoir “This Far ”in February: Inside Her 'Really Vulnerable' New Book (Exclusive)

"What I want people to feel is that no matter what's happened in your life, you still deserve to live and be joyful," the dancer tells PEOPLE exclusively

Allison Holker is continuing her mission of helping others who are facing trauma and grief following the untimely death of her husband Stephen 'tWitch' Boss in December 2022.

On Feb. 4, 2025, the So You Think You Can Dance judge, 36, is set to release a "vulnerable" new memoir, This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light, that details her upbringing, love story with Boss and healing journey with her kids over the last two years, PEOPLE exclusively confirms.

The star began writing the book more than two years ago, and "originally it started out being about our love life and blended family and coming together in an interracial marriage and how we kept our love alive," says Holker.

After losing her husband (Boss died by suicide at age 40), Holker understandably put the project on pause.

Related: Allison Holker Boss Opens Up for the First Time After tWitch's Death: 'He Wanted to Be Everyone's Superman'

Deciding to move ahead with the memoir — and pivot her approach — was a difficult decision that came in a breakthrough moment with her late husband.

"I used to sit in my pool or my hot tub and talk to Stephen all the time [after he died]. I'd be angry with him, or happy with him or just go over memories," she recalls. "One night when I was so angry, I forgave him and I was like, there's so many people that are probably waiting to have that moment that I just had."

The next day, Holker called her team to say she was ready to pick up the project again — and she hopes the book can be a tool for others navigating grief and trauma.

"I don't want people to feel when they read it that I'm being their therapist. I am not educated in that world, but I had this really traumatic thing happen in my life that only made me realize what I was already working on is really, really important for me to continue on," she says.

Related: Allison Holker Reveals How Her Village Is Helping Her Prepare for Back to School: 'I'm Grateful' (Exclusive)

"It gave me more of a focus and more of a purpose, and I really hope I can be an advocate and a voice to people that feel alone or left behind," Holker continues. "I want them to see that life can keep going, and that's why the book's called This Far, because it is not the end. This is just the beginning of a new [chapter]."

While it wasn't easy to tap into "really vulnerable" moments and emotions, Holker says ultimately working on her memoir was "very, very therapeutic" for her.

"I hope my kids and my family and my friends and my fans can see that I am doing this to help other people, and honestly myself," she says. "Being a teacher and a choreographer, I've always gone on the road and taught hundreds of kids and used big inspirational words to help them in their journey. But I don't know that many people I've allowed to do that for me. In this book is actually stuff that I needed to hear for myself from other people."

Over the last nearly two years, Holker has also been a vocal advocate for mental health, and her new book will continue encouraging those suffering silently to ask for help.

"I'm opening myself up to everyone to hopefully bring change and share that there might be holes that you might be missing even if you've been with someone for so many years. You think you're so close with them, which is what happened to me," she says. "I hope that I can be someone that is an advocate that really helps people to either not make this choice, or to open up another choice for someone else to intervene and help them to not make it."

Related: Allison Holker Smiles with All 3 of Her Kids in Sweet New Family Photos: 'Grateful for These Angels'

Holker's oldest child, 16-year-old daughter Weslie, has read "a lot" of the book, and the star hopes all three of her kids (she's also mom to son Maddox, 8, and daughter Zaia, 4) can find inspiration in it one day.

"We really do have great, open dialogue, and Weslie and I are very close. I always want her to have this reference and feel safe with it," she says. "Life can be really, really complicated and have a lot of ups and downs. You can still find happiness ... that's really what I want my kids to know."

Earlier this month Holker went public with her new boyfriend, Adam Edmunds, and she hopes to help others who have suffered loss feel deserving of love.

"I had such a beautiful love with Stephen, and I still have such a beautiful love with him. But the love I learned has only helped me to be even better in my next love, and I feel like I'm even more suited now in this next step in my life with this new, beautiful man Adam," she says. "It's only made it louder for us [because I'm so] appreciative and grateful. It's not that one love outshines the other. It's just one love prepared me for the next."

This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light comes out on Feb. 4, 2025 from Harper Select and is available for preorder now, wherever books are sold.

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