Abbie Chatfield slams misogynistic dating coach: 'Nightmare'

"When a woman is dominant over a man, she can't respect him."

Abbie Chatfield has slammed a "dating coach" after he made comments about men being superior to women and said women have to earn 'good d***'.

On her podcast It's A Lot, Abbie interviewed "dating and life coach" Hashim Locario, otherwise known as Mr Locario, who uses his platform to give dating advice online which often centres around patriarchal viewpoints, including the fact women should be "submissive".

But let's go back to the beginning of how we even ended up here...

Abbie Chatfield interviewing Mr Locario
Abbie Chatfield and Mr Locario. Photo:

In a clip on her Instagram, Abbie first reacted to Mr Locario talking to a group of men where he states "Women have to earn good d**" and that women go home and "cry at night" from being lonely.

"When a woman is dominant over a man, she can't respect him," Mr Locario said.


Abbie then said "I wish we could talk to Mr Locario" and lo and behold... if you dream it, you can do it, because in this case, Abbie's wish came true.

Abbie V Mr Locario

Abbie had Mr Locario appear on It's A Lot and asked him for dating advice.

"I am a dating and life coach, I have been coaching men and women for the past 17 years as this point to teach them to find exactly what they want in their dating life," Mr Locario said as a way of introduction, telling Abbie (who identifies as bisexual) that although he predominantly helped straight people, he could also give her advice on women too if she needed it.

Mr Locario then went on to say most dating coaches sell people hope but he sells people "reality" to help them get what they really want.

"Do you want a guy who will lead you, or do you want to lead?" Mr Locario asked Abbie while she questioned why it couldn't be equal.

"I feel like it ebbs and flows," she said, while Mr Locario stated that someone being the "leader" is a permanent thing in a relationship.

Most of Mr Locario's teachings seemed to centre around the fact that one partner had to lead the other and therefore have control in the relationship (in his explanations, the leader usually being the man).

When Abbie questioned what that meant, he gave Abbie an example of men inviting women to events and picking out their outfits for them to wear as a way of showing they're a leader.

"That's my nightmare," Abbie said. "What if I don't want that?"


"If you don't want that and you say 'I'm wearing this' that means you're in the lead and you're leading the guy," Mr Locario said.

"As a relationship builds, if you're dating a guy who's a leader, he'll take into account your opinions later down the line. If you meet a guy today, and you refuse, then that may mean you don't want to date a man who's a leader," he continued.

The podcast continued with Abbie and her EP Lem trying to explain coercive control to Mr Locario, while he said leading and giving direction is a masculine trait and that men who are like that are looking for women who fit into that structure, whereas a guy who isn't masculine would fit into "Abbie's structure" of leading.

As you can imagine, the rest of the episode was a hot mess. But if you want, you can listen to the full episode of It's A Lot here.

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