140 Funny Halloween Puns That'll Get All the Guys and Ghouls Howling

October 31 is nearly here (Scary, right?)! Whether you're looking for funny Halloween costume puns you can tell trick-or-treaters when they knock or silly Halloween puns for Instagram captions, these silly Halloween puns for kids and adults will make even the meanest old witch crack a toothy grin.

So if your current repertoire of Halloween puns and costume puns isn't up to snuff, don't give everyone a fright by sharing your dreadful tricks anyway. Step up your haunting game this year and give these 140 howl-arious Halloween jokes and puns a whirl instead.

Related: Best Halloween Jokes

140 Halloween Puns

1. Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend.

2. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!

3. Did you get to meet the tallest vampire in the world? People call him Count Everest.

4. What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!

5. Why do vampires need mouthwash? They have bat breath!

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6. What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist!

7. What is the skeleton’s funniest bone? Its humerus.

8. What do vegan zombies eat? GRAAAAAAAAAINS.

9. Why are all mummies workaholics? They’re afraid to unwind.

10. Why won’t vampires prey on snowmen? They’ll get frostbite.

11. What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-Pie!

12. What did the skeleton say to the gathering of ghosts when he revealed that he has not been tricked? I can see right through you!

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13. Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!

14. Why don’t ghouls like lentils? They prefer human-beans.

15. How did the great pumpkin fix his jeans? With a pumpkin patch.

16. What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The Xlylo-bone!

17. Why do spirits have low self-esteem? They have no body to love!

18. Why did the witch look so angry? She has a resting witch face!

19. Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in!

20. Why did the Vampire read The New York Times? He heard it had great circulation.

21. What is a ghost’s favorite band? The Grateful Dead.

22. How can you tell if a vampire has been to a bakery recently? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

23. Where do ghosts like to go swimming? Lake Erie.

24. The maker of this product does not want it. The buyer does not use it. And the user does not see it. What is it? A coffin.

25. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.

Halloween Costume Puns

26. How do spiders communicate? Through the word wide web!

27. What can you say about a terrible mummy joke? It Sphinx!

28. Who's the world's best skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones!

29. What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help you clean? Lazy bones.

30. What was the witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.

31. What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? Boo boos.

32. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash!

33. Where did the mommy ghost take the baby ghost? To the dayscare center.

34. What did the skeleton bring to the potluck? Spare ribs.

35. What kind of phone do witches use? A touch-toad phone.

36. What do you say when you’re having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetite!

37. Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo!

38. Why did the police officer write the ghost a ticket on Halloween? It didn't have a haunting license!

39. Why are skeletons always so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.

40. Why should you always trust a mummy with your secrets? They can keep anything under wraps.

41. What did the werewolf eat right after he got his teeth cleaned? The dentist.

42. What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi.

43. What did one confident ghost say to the other? If you've got it, haunt it.

44. Why are vampires so good at baseball? They bring their own bats.

45. How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.

46. What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.

47. Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

48. What part of the street do vampires live on? The dead end!

49. When is it bad luck to see a black cat headed toward you? When you’re a mouse.

50. What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.

Funny Halloween Puns

51. What should you eat at a baseball game on Halloween? A frakenfurter!

52. What do skeletons like to do on the weekend? They love binge-watching their favorite shows on the skele-vision!

53. Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad? Because they were Trans-Parents!

54. What plants like Halloween the most? Bam-BOO!

55. How are witches able to stay so positive? Witch-ful thinking! 

Related: Best Dad Jokes 

56. What did the vampire say after he graduated college? Fangs for the memories.

57. What are a ghost’s favorite ride at the fair? The Scary-Go-Round!

58. Why did the horseman from Sleepy Hollow go to business school? He wanted to get a head in life.

59. Why did the ghost go to the bar? To get some boos.

60. Want to know what you'll find on a haunted beach? A Sand-witch!

61. What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The Grim-Sweeper.

62. What is a goblin’s favorite cheese? Monster-ella.

63. What is a vampire’s favorite dance? The Fang-o.

64. What do birds give out on Halloween? Tweets.

65. What did the zombie say after his friend told him a few cheesy jokes? Haha, these are killing me! 

Related: 10 Funny Halloween Pranks 

66. What is a vampire’s favorite type of dog? A bloodhound.

67. What do you call two witches living together? Broommates.

68. Why does Dracula love going to the circus? He loves the Juggler!

69. What happens when a ghost blows its nose? He gets rid of all his boo-gers.

70. Why was the ghost sad on Valentine's Day? He couldn't find a boo!

71. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?He was outstanding in his field.

72. Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.

73. Why are ghosts so happy when they’re in an elevator? It lifts their spirits.

74. What do ghosts use to wash their hair with? Sham-boo!

75. What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock the house? A spoo-key.

76. How do ghosts drink their coffee? With scream and sugar.

77. Why did the zombie skip school? He felt rotten.

78. What kind of tests do vampire teachers give their students? Blood tests.

79. What do you give a vampire when he’s sick? Coffin-drops.

80. What is a ghosts’ favorite fruit? Boo-berries.

81. What’s a ghost’s favorite karaoke song? “Teenage Scream.”

82. What does a witch use to style her hair with? Scarespray.

83.What’s a vampire’s favorite TV show? Big Fang Theory.

84. How can you tell if Dracula has a cold? He starts coffin.

85. Why don’t ghosts like performing stand up? They always get booed.

86. How do ghosts predict their futures? They check their horror-scope.

87. Why don’t skeletons like the cold? It’s bone-chilling.

88. Why do pumpkins bar hop? To get smashed.

89. Why didn’t Cinderella make the soccer team? Her coach was a pumpkin.

90. What’s a ghost like to eat in the summer? An ice scream sandwich.

91. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny.

92. What do you call vampire siblings? Blood brothers.

93. Where should you go if a zombie is chasing you? The living room.

94. How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern…

95. What kind of pumpkin works at the pool? Life-gourds.

96. What’s a zombie’s favorite thing to eat? Brain food.

97. How do little pumpkins cross the road? With the help of a crossing gourd.

98. Why did the zombie get fired? It missed a dead-line.

99. Why can’t werewolves play basketball? They get too many howls.

100. How do you know if a vampire is flirting with you? They bat their eyes.

101. What should you get a witch for her birthday? A charm bracelet.

102. What’s a zombie’s favorite appetizer? Finger food.

103. Why didn’t the angry witch leave her broom at home? She didn’t want to fly off the handle.

104. Did you hear about the vampire’s romance? It was love at first bite.

105. How can you spot a wealthy vampire? It has blue blood.

106. Why did the pumpkin go to jail? It was a bad seed.

107. What do ghosts wear if they can’t see? Spooktacles.

108. Did you hear about the zombie who ran the race? It came in dead last.

109. Why do witches like beer? They enjoy a good brew.

110. What happens when a vampire attacks a snowman? It gets frost-bite.

111. Did you hear about the new vampire laptop? It bytes.

112. What kind of monster plays pranks on Halloween? Prank-enstein.

113. What did the child mummy want to be when he grew up? A wrap star.

114. What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.

115. What should you do during a zombie attack? Play dead.

116. What kind of dogs do pumpkins like best? Gourd-dogs.

117. Why was the zombie valedictorian? It was dead-icated to its studies.

118. Why couldn’t the witch find work? It was a dry spell.

119. What do you call a Halloween monster who is really bad at scaring people? A Halloweenie.

120. What did the ghost say when she found out she’d been scammed? “I’ve been bam-BOO-zled!”

121. What do witches ask for at hotels? Broom service.

122. Did you hear about the witch who got school detention? She was ex-spelled.

123. Why did the zombie take a nap? It was dead on its feet.

124. Where do ghosts buy stamps? The ghost office.

125. What do skeleton dogs like to eat? Milk bones.

126. Why did everyone leave the zombie party early? It wasn’t very lively.

127. What kind of Halloween books do pumpkins write? Pulp fiction.

128. What happens when vampires get mad? Their blood boils.

129. How much did the zombie’s new car cost? An arm and a leg.

130. What kind of shows do ghosts wear? Boo-ts.

131. What is a pause at work at a mortuary called? A coffin break.

132. How do you turn off the lights on Halloween? Use the lights-witch.

133. Did you hear about the zombie recital? The performance knocked them dead.

134. How did the pumpkin quit smoking? It used a pumpkin patch.

135. Why did the ghost cross the road? He wanted to return from the other side.

136. How do pumpkins get paid? With pumpkin bread.

137. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.

138. Why did the skeleton laugh? Something tickled its funny bone.

139. Why don’t ghosts take showers? It dampens their spirits.

140. What kind of rocks do ghosts collect? Tombstones.

Up Next:

- Halloween Dad Jokes
- Funny Halloween Pranks

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