16 Old-Timey Christmas Cards That Are Super Freakin' Weird

1.I came across this vintage Christmas card from 1880, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it because no part of it makes sense. When I translated the note, thinking it would explain what I was missing, it said, "Peace, Joy, Health, Happiness." It's just a card of a rat riding a lobster. And apparently old Christmas cards are like that: totally random and kind of creepy.

2.Like this card from 1910 with Santa holding a man at gunpoint and robbing him next to a poem that rhymes.

3.Or this one from 1952 that seemingly has nothing to do with Christmas, even though it says "Christmas Greetings" and just has a fairy shunning a devil guy.

4.Or this one from 1853 of a baby riding a butterfly, arguably one of the weakest airborne animals, that says, "With the Season's greetings."

5.This one from 1880 is of a chicken eating a turtle and a turtle eating a duck. First of all, why would I want this picture sent to my door? Second of all, in what world could a turtle take down a duck?

6.This one is from 1879, of two women rolling a man into a snowball in the middle of the forest. The caption says, "'Tis innocent mirth that gives Christmas its worth." This is not looking like innocent mirth to me but maybe I'm wrong.

7.This...clown? Gnome? I'm not 100% sure what it is, but it's terrifying and has nothing to do with Christmas.

8.This 1860 card with only a dog's head. It's not poking out of a hole or fading out into a vignette, it's only the head, and the longer I look at it, the more unnerving it is.

9.This 1890 card of children riding in a sleigh that is actually a giant egg??? I feel like I'm missing the joke.

10.This early 1900s clown card that would make me jump if I opened it from my mailbox.

11.This 1880 Christmas cannon which is only good if you're Kevin McAllister in Home Alone. Look how scared the poor cat is!

12.This 1906 New Year's card of a girl harvesting mushrooms in the forest in the dead of winter wearing short sleeves. There's a lot that just doesn't compute here.

13.This late 1800s-early 1900s card of some ravenous crows huddled around and eyeing the word "you" in big red letters.

14.This 1886 card of a man with what I would assume to be a giant Christmas pudding on his back, but why are the edges of his mouth red???

15.This 1885 illustration of Santa that quite honestly, will keep me up at night.

16.Finally, this old card of a frog and a beetle dancing in the desert while a fly or something plays the tambourine. If that doesn't capture the holiday spirit, I don't know what does.

What's the weirdest Christmas card you've gotten? Tell us in the comments below!