14 Habits of People Who Never (Or Rarely) Get Anxious, According to Therapists

People who frequently experience anxiety know how overwhelming and invasive it can feel. "Sometimes it seems like anxiety comes out of nowhere, and it feels out of your control to change it," says Sarah Rollins, LMSW, SEP of Embodied Wellness, PLLC.

According to a National Health Interview Survey, nearly 10 percent of people reported feeling mildly anxious during a two-week span in 2019. More than 5 percent said they experienced moderate or severe anxiety symptoms. So, you're not alone if you have anxious thoughts. 

However, more than 84 percent said they felt no or minimal anxiety symptoms. What are they doing differently? Great question!

"Sometimes it's helpful to look at what's working and what's good instead of constantly focusing on problems," says Anna Aslanian, LMFT, the founder and director of My Therapy Corner. "Knowing what works is like a map to where we want to be. It gives us directions on how to get there and what to do."

Below, experts share a roadmap of habits practiced by people who never (or at least rarely) get anxious.

Related: 115 Relatable Quotes About Overthinking To Inspire Peacefulness and Letting Go

What Is Anxiety?

Anxiety is sometimes compared to an uninvited party guest—but it doesn't bring side dishes or desserts. Instead, it shows up with "heart palpitations, dizziness and a disconcerting sense of the world closing in," says Luana Marques, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

Most people feel anxious at one time or another for various reasons.

"Situations that are outside of our comfort zones, the unknown, negative thoughts, insecurities, anticipation of something important, worrying thoughts about something bad happening can all create anxiety that can be felt in our mind and body," Aslanian explains.

What Is the Difference Between Anxious Thoughts and Generalized Anxiety Disorder?

Although anxious thoughts pop up from time to time, Generalized Anxiety Disorder has clinical criteria listed in the DSM-5, a manual providers use to diagnose mental health conditions.

"Most people feel anxious from time to time, but it doesn't mean they have an anxiety disorder," Aslanian says. There are several criteria, but one psychotherapist sums it up in general terms.

"Anxiety becomes a disorder when it impacts our daily functioning for an extended period of time," says Erica Hornthal, a psychotherapist based in Chicago and the author of the book Body Aware. "It may change our mood, sleep, activity level, social engagements and even the ability to care for ourselves."

Aslanian says a mental health provider can help determine whether you have anxious thoughts or Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

What Are Some Signs You Have Anxiety?

Although anxiety should be diagnosed by a licensed medical provider, the NHS has identified several signs and symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. These include:

• Uncontrollable worrying

• Restlessness

• Irritability

• Getting tired easily

• Difficulty concentrating on tasks

• And difficulty staying asleep

Other Types of Anxiety

Unfortunately, anxiety can manifest itself in many different forms. Here are some of the most common ones:

• Panic attacks

• Phobias (i.e., agoraphobia)

• Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

• And post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

Related: 103 Anxiety Quotes To Help You Get Through and Lift Your Spirits

14 Habits of People Who Never Get Anxious, According to Therapists

1. Practice Acceptance

It's impossible to go through life without ever feeling anxious. People who rarely get anxious recognize and accept this truth.

"The more you accept anxiety, the quicker it goes away," Aslanian says. "When we resist something, try to fight it, that's when it persists."

2. Have a Daily Routine or Ritual

Anxiety can pop up when we're afraid of the unexpected. So, Hornthal suggests ensuring you work something expected into your daily life.

"A daily ritual or habit can be something like a morning cup of coffee, a walk, five minutes of gratitude or 10 minutes of reading," Hornthal says. Whatever you choose, commit to it. Hornthal says the activity you choose for your ritual matters less than the consistency of it.

"This creates an anchor in our day, which connects us to the present moment, making it hard to worry about the past or future," she explains.

3. Tune Into False Alarms

Dr. Marques explains that our brain has two main roles: to predict and to protect. 

"When it senses danger—real or perceived—it triggers our fight, flight or freeze response by activating the amygdala," Dr. Marques says.

An anxious brain may struggle to differentiate between real or perceived threats.

"For example, receiving a late-night email from your boss titled, 'We need to talk,' can set off alarm bells, causing you to feel anxious," Dr. Marques says. "Those skilled at combatting anxiety can separate actual threats from perceived ones, reducing unnecessary activation of the fight, flight or freeze response."

It's a learned skill that people can practice.

"Start by understanding the difference between real threats, like an oncoming vehicle, and perceived threats, like an unexpected email from your boss or navigating a new relationship," Dr. Marques suggests. "This distinction helps the brain to respond more appropriately, reducing unnecessary anxiety."

4. Embrace Self-Compassion

Rollins notes that negative self-talk is a common trigger of anxious thoughts. Flip the script in your head.

"Try reframing your thinking from statements like, 'Why are you so stupid?' or 'You will never get the job' to 'It's okay that I made a mistake' or 'I will try my best to get this job. If I don’t get it, I can try for a different job,'" Rollins says.

Related: 8 Phrases To Repeat to Yourself When You're Feeling Anxiety, According to a Therapist

5. Get Enough Sleep

When your mind is racing, sleep may be the last thing on it. But it's essential.

"Sleeping seven to eight hours of sleep during nighttime hours can improve your mood, memory and impulse control," Rollins says. "When you get proper sleep, you make better decisions and have an easier time regulating your mood."

6. Stay Physically Active

Movement can be therapeutic. Consider choosing an activity based on how you feel.

"Depending on what state your nervous system is in, you may need to engage in an exercise such as running, jumping, dancing—something fast where lots of energy is spent," says Aslanian. "At other times, you may need something slower, more grounding, such as stretching and yoga."

Hornthal notes that you don't even need to exercise to get movement in.

"Moving in new and different ways is an important part of letting emotions move through the body and mind," Hornthal says. "Take the stairs, walk a different route in the office or take stretch breaks at your desk. These are all ways to prevent build-up or stress."

7. Engage in Esteemable Acts

There's a difference between esteemable acts and doing things you can enjoy (which is also important). The distinction is also anxiety-busting.

"Esteemable acts are things that build your self-esteem and sense of mastery. They are activities that make you feel competent," Rollins says. "These require using skills such as playing an instrument, sports, fixing things around your house or learning a new language. Feeling like you have accomplished something can reduce anxiety."

8. Talk About It

Just getting something off your chest can be freeing. "Being able to talk about how or what we feel is one way to honor, express, and validate what we are experiencing," says Hornthal. "Find someone you trust to talk about what may be contributing to anxiety."

Rollins agrees. "People who are rarely anxious don't attempt to solve all of their problems by themselves," Rollins says. "They surround themselves with a healthy support network."

It doesn't have to be a massive network. "Even if you have one or two trusted family or friends, that can be enough to rely on," Hornthal says.

9. Journal

Talking can be helpful, but some people express themselves more easily by writing things down.

"Dumping your anxious thoughts on paper means they don't stay in your head," Aslanian says. "Don't put pressure on yourself to write a lot. You can start by writing only for five minutes."

10. Understand Thoughts Aren't Facts

Your thoughts and feelings are valid, but that doesn't mean they're true. "One can have many thoughts, and they are just that: Thoughts," Aslanian says. "They don't predict the future. They aren't facts about you or your life...You are not your thoughts."

It's possible to practice determining the distinction.

"Try playing around with different thoughts," Aslanian says. "See if you can recognize that you are simply having a troubling, anxiety-provoking thought."

11. Determine Your Values

Dr. Marques says people good at managing anxiety understand what matters most to them: Their values. "These values, which can range from family to health to wealth, are not goals but the driving force behind them—the why rather than the what," Dr. Marques says.

To determine your values, Dr. Marques suggests asking yourself: "What matters most to me?"

"Reflect on moments when you felt most fulfilled, and identify the underlying values that made those moments significant," Dr. Marques says. "Identify three core values to function as your compass, steering you towards a life with less anxiety."

Related: 150 Life Quotes—Inspiring the Happy, Good and Funny in Life

12. Honor Personal Boundaries

The B word is a big one, Hornthal says. "Anxiety decreases when we set healthy personal and professional boundaries," Hornthal explains. 

Those values you determined? They'll help you set boundaries.

"Learning to compromise without compromising ourselves, showing up in a way that aligns with our own values and expressing when a boundary has been violated is important to managing anxiety," Hornthal says.

13. Healthy Communication

Communication is critical in many aspects of our lives, including anxiety management. Hornthal says healthy communication involves voicing concerns, expectations and judgments.

"Open communication alleviates many unknowns that we build up in our mind that often create anxiety," Hornthal says.

14. Learn More About Anxiety

Educating yourself on anxiety can help you reduce it.

"By reading about anxiety and learning more about it, it can help you realize that it's normal...and there are many tools you can have to manage it better. Knowledge helps make better choices," Aslanian says. "You can become curious about your anxiety instead of fearing it. What is it trying to tell you? Is there actual danger? Where are its origins for you?"

Self-help books can be useful, but Aslanian also suggests reaching out to a therapist. "Individual therapy can help cement what you read and learn," she says.

Up Next:
- 75 Sad Quotes That Will Help You Cope When You're Feeling Down

Related: 10 Taylor Swift Songs That Reference Anxiety, According to Therapists