Is She The One?

The cost of marrying the wrong partner is way more than just replacing half your CD collection. Using Australian Bureau Of Statistics figures, the website divorce360.com worked out the average hidden costs of divorce: about $53,000.

"Most men decide quite early on that they 'know' their partner, so they stop reading between the lines and ignore vital early warning signs,” says Dr John Van Epp, a registered marital therapist, counsellor and psychologist. "Bad traits like lying or a temper will only get worse over time, while good traits, like shared interests, don't often last.” Step into MH's lab to figure out whether you should put a ring on her finger.

1 Is she self-centred?

While you don't expect to be waited on hand and foot, studies conducted by the University of Texas found her generosity of spirit is directly responsible for your happiness. After monitoring thousands of couples, the researchers found that women are responsible for "maintenance behaviours" - selfless acts like taking charge of the household chores, organising intimate dinners and starting "coupley” rituals, which will directly influence how happy you will be in the relationship in years to come.

The test Dinner for two

Once you're settled, keep an eye on her, rather than looking around the restaurant. This is a great way to assess whether she's into you or not. "Women tend to be 'people pleasers', so signs that she doesn't care about your wellbeing are a real warning,” says Dr Ian Kerner, the author of Comes First.

Fail She leans over and grabs food from your plate without offering some of hers in return. "This 'space invading' signals a 'what's mine is mine' attitude,” warns Van Epp.

Pass She doesn't dominate the conversation. "Keepers ask more questions, speak for shorter periods and use hedgers - words which show consideration for your feelings, such as 'perhaps' or 'maybe',” says Dr Scott Haltzman, psychiatrist and the author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men. "If she's using these words, she's interested in making a connection with you.”

2 Does she have patience?

The same University of Texas study shows empathy and patience are vital for long-lasting unions. "If she doesn't have these traits, then once the honeymoon period is over and she sees the 'real you' - foibles and all - she'll be out the door,” says Kerner. Taking the dog, the car and the Mad Men box set with her.

The test Hit the shops

Take her to the supermarket and see how she reacts to stressed shoppers. "How she treats others is an indication of her true nature,” says Van Epp. "If she can't empathise with strangers, expect her to treat you with the same disdain later.”

Fail If the corner of her mouth curls up slightly, it's a sign of contempt, according to Dr Paul Elkman, professor of psychology at the University of California medical school.

Pass She's mimicking the slack-jawed checkout girl's expression - and not for laughs. Studies by the Université Paris found that when we empathise with people, we mimic their facial expressions when they talk to us.

3 Is she fatalistic?

While you don't want to be dating a martyr, you do need to make sure she can take responsibility for her own actions. "If she can't face up to her own faults, every time you argue she'll pin all the blame on you," says Haltzman.

The test Ask about her day

The next time she's sounding off about her lunatic boss, listen carefully. "Is she always the victim or does she admit she may have played a part in what happened?" asks Haltzman.

Fail She's passive rather than active in her narrative. "If things keep 'happening' to her, she may be unable to face up to her own [bad] behaviour," says Van Epp. Beware: she'll expect you to repeatedly rescue her and pick all up the pieces.

Pass She doubts her self. "If she questions what she did or mentions that she'll change her behaviour, this shows problem-solving ability and adaptability - two traits crucial for maintaining a relationship," says Van Epp.

4 How does she treat her loved ones?

"How she treat those closest to her predicts the way she'll treat you," says Van Epp.

The test Meet the parents

"You'll see how she treats the people who love her. Parental behaviour will be her blueprint for a relationship," explains Van Epp.

Fail You disagree with the way her family handles conflict. "Take careful note of her family's arguing style - do they sulk or scream? How similar is this to your own?" asks Van Epp.

Pass Her parents resolve differences. "It's not the arguing that kills a marriage; it's the arguing style," says Dr John Gottman, the author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. "Don't get personal or defensive." Make sure you have five positive interactions for every fight.