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Write on! It's National Thank You Note Day — here's how to compose a great one
We asked etiquette experts for tips (and found some awfully cute cards) so you can express your gratitude with flair.
Most of us rarely put pen to paper anymore. But that's what makes handwritten cards so special — and why it's so important to know how to write a thank-you note. Fittingly, the day after Christmas, Dec. 26, is National Thank You Note Day. While no one knows much about the origins of this very specific holiday, it's the perfect excuse to dust off that stationery and let the people in your life know how much you appreciate them.
If you're stumped about what to write to say thank you, don't feel bad. Practice makes perfect, and frankly, we could all use more practice these days! To help, we quizzed three top etiquette pros on the best way to write a thank-you message.
You'll be happy to know that it's easier — and quicker — than you may think. Read on for their expert advice, plus handpicked cards and other stationery supplies that'll make your message even more special.
How to write a thank-you note
Whether or not you frequently write notes, a blank piece of paper can be intimidating. But don't let the pressure to come up with a beautiful thank-you message stop you from getting it done.
Don't overthink it
"My grandfather used to say the best is the enemy of the good," says Daniel Post Senning, co-author of Emily Post's Etiquette, The Centennial Edition and the great-grandson of the etiquette doyenne herself. "There is no such thing as a bad thank you. In a world where we have so many options, the medium is the heart of the message."
Start with a greeting
"'Dear' is always the best and most thoughtful greeting," says Diane Gottsman, owner of The Protocol School of Texas. If that feels too formal for you, Post Senning says it's okay to write just the recipient's name or even a nickname or initials if you know them well. You can also add the date up top as a memento, should the recipient save your card.
Keep the message short and sweet
Three to four sentences will do the trick. "Thank-you notes don’t have to be overly complicated or long," says Bonnie Tsai, founder of Beyond Etiquette. Adds Post Senning, "It's not a letter. You don't need to get out your lined paper!"
Be specific
In your main message, write the words "thank you" and mention the specific gift. The next sentence, Post Senning says, "is the only original thought you're responsible for. Say something that's genuinely unique — it can be about the gift itself or the thought or effort that went into it."
Then, if you want, add a follow-up thought. For example, "I can't wait to wear the sweater" or "I look forward to getting dinner together soon." Easy, right?
Sign off in style
End your message with "Love, fondly, sincerely, best — whatever is best for your relationship," says Gottsman. If you're not sure which option makes the most sense, go with "Sincerely," adds Post Senning. "It works every time."
Send it ASAP
Generally, the sooner you can write and mail your note, the better. "For a holiday gift, you have about a week or two — give yourself some grace, especially if you're out of town or have company," says Gottsman. Tsai advises mailing holiday thank-you notes before the new year, but even if you fall way behind, "you should still send one," she says. "A late thank-you note is better than no thank-you note."
Editor-approved cards
All of our experts recommend investing in personalized stationery with your name or initials. "I'm not going to ever refuse a card that says 'thank you' on it. But it's a bit informal," says Gottsman. "If you're buying stationery, you may as well pick something you can use not just for thank yous."
Dempsey & Carroll and Crane & Co. are some of the pros' go-to sources for stationery. Scroll on for more affordable, editor-approved picks (including notes that do say "thank you" — some are irresistible!).
Rifle Paper Co. is beloved for its cheerful floral illustrations, and any budding writer would surely adore this set heavyweight cards and envelopes. The front of each card is blank, so you can stock up on these for birthdays, holidays ... anytime!
The coffee puns are coming in hot, thanks to this cute set of java-themed cards. Receiving a kind message in one of these would surely perk up anyone's day.
One of the oldest stationers in the country, Crane & Co. counts presidents and historical figures as its customers as far back as the late 1700s, when Paul Revere enlisted founder Stephen Crane to print the colonies' first paper money. These days, the company is the source for elegant note cards, like this sweet little design. Your friends and family will be buzzing about how thoughtful you are.
All of our experts agree that personalized cards with your name or initials are the first step in building your "stationery wardrobe" (yes, that's a thing!). "It's a great way to display your design style!" says Tsai.
Custom stationery can cost a pretty penny, but Curio Press makes it affordable. The small print shop out of Missouri lets you essentially design bespoke cards on Amazon, offering 20 ink and envelope color options, plus different text styles including a modern monogram and swirly scripts.
Say aloe there! to your pals with these adorable plant-themed cards. They've got all the charm of real succulents — no green thumb required.
What is a paper card if not the original text message? These cheeky notes will have recipients LOL'ing, guaranteed. They measure slightly larger than an index card, perfect for quick thank you's and notes just to say hello.
How perfect is it that America's favorite leading man has a name that spells out "Thanks"? Any movie or pop culture buff would get a kick out of these silly-but-sweet cards.
It's impossible to imagine an animal lover not being charmed by this cheerful menagerie! This set comes with a mix of different designs — some dog-themed and some cat-themed — so you can find the purrr-fect card for your pal.
The online stationer Minted is an absolute treasure trove of custom cards, all designed by artists. If you prefer a more traditional look, this monogram fits the bill, with its crest and botanical border. It also comes in green and pink, in a larger size (5" x 7"), in different paper types and even in different shapes!
Another excellent source for personalized stationery, Papier specializes in quirky and vintage-inspired designs. You can even customize the message inside the card (though our experts would say to leave it blank so you can write a unique thank-you to each of your friends!).
More stylish stationery supplies
If you're going to go through the effort of writing notes by hand, you deserve a fancy pen! Made by the British brand Scriveiner, this luxe ballpoint has 24-karat gold accents and has earned nearly 12,000 five-star ratings on Amazon.
More of a minimalist? Subtle colors and a soft grip give these barrels a quietly luxurious look. The black ink dries quickly — key for avoiding smudges when you use a gel pen.
Seal the deal with a flourish! This kit comes with everything you need for the ultimate finishing touch on any envelope: a monogrammed wax seal.
For those who'd rather buy than DIY, here's a fun find: These ready-made seals come in 36 rich colors and have an adhesive on the back so you can easily stick them onto envelopes.
A return address stamp is a must if you're sending out dozens of cards, but even if you only have a few people on your mailing list, you'll appreciate how speedy this makes the process. Nearly 3,000 shoppers gave this pick, which comes in three font styles, a five-star rating.
