When to break up with your trainer

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It's easy to dump dry cleaners, and juice bar buddies (hey, not all relationships are built to last). But moving on from a trainer can feel a little trickier. (Things were going fine! You’ll have to see them around!)

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We spoke with certified strength and conditioning coach Rachel Cosgrove about some obvious and some not-so-clear-cut signs it’s time to start seeing other people. (Your body and health could depend on it.)

1. Training sessions feel like Groundhog Day
Another day, another 58-minute workout with four circuits that you’ve memorised and could, uh, do alone? Red flag, says Cosgrove: “There should be a plan that progresses every workout, whether you’re adding weights, reps, or different moves in—and the routine itself should change every four to six weeks." Another sign your cash is being wasted on a one-size-fits-all program: showing up early and watching the client before you go through your exact routine. Paying the big bucks for a personal trainer means every minute of coaching should be tailored to your goals.

2. Their phone is more fascinating than your forward lunge
Sure, everyone occasionally turns away from work for a mental breather and juicy click bait. But for the hour you’re on the gym floor, the trainer should have his or her eyes on you. “We don’t even allow our trainers to have their phones on the floor,” says Cosgrove. Chatting with other trainers, watching the overhead TVs, or tweeting while you’re mid-squat are all signs he or she’s out to lunch—and not so passionate about getting you into shape.

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3. You spend the first 30 minutes gossiping
It’s easy to become close with your trainer—they know which dimples on your butt you’d like to see go, after all. But when you’ve found yourself deep in conversation about his or her encounter with an ex last weekend, the relationship has probably gotten too personal, says Cosgrove. “Your trainer should be good at flipping the conversation so that the majority of the hour is about your training—you should never feel like you’re the one steering the convo back to the workout.”

4. Your gains are MIA
You’ve been showing up, swapped beers for Brussels sprouts, and still have nothing to show after eight weeks of dedication. It’s a sign your trainer may not have the experience or skills to design an effective program, says Cosgrove. “You should see changes to your body within 30 days if you follow their recs and stick with it.” (And you should see progress with each session, whether you’re able to add more weight or reps or up the intensity in another way.)

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5. You've been cancelled on more than once
Even if you adore everything else about your trainer, professionalism is everything. “The number one key to results is consistency, so you have to have a trainer who shows up,” says Cosgrove. Barring any emergencies or sickness, your trainer should be waiting for you each week, and the best will have a backup plan in case they can’t be there. “Ideally, you find a coach who has a network of other trainers they can refer you to if they have to be out or they’re on vacation,” says Cosgrove.