Woman Says Her Mom Called Her ‘Selfish’ for Changing Her Own Birthday Plans: ‘Accusing Me of Treating Her Poorly'

• A 21-year-old woman says her mother called her "selfish" for changing her birthday plans.

• She says she usually goes along with what her mother wants to "avoid conflict," but "stood up" for herself this time.

• The woman detailed her experience on Reddit and asked others if she was the "a------" for "doing what I want" on her special day.

A young woman says her mom is upset because she changed her birthday plans — and she’s now wondering if she should have handled things differently.

The 21-year-old detailed her situation on the popular Reddit forum, “Am I the A------,” sharing that her relationship with her mother has always been “strained” because she tends to “dismiss my feelings.”

The Redditor also revealed that she tends to agree with whatever her mother suggests to "avoid conflict," and because of this, she told her mom — who lives in Las Vegas — that she would visit for her mom’s birthday.

“Later, I realized I couldn’t afford the trip, so I told her I’d visit for my birthday instead,” the woman writes. However, when it came time to actually visit, she took the offer back.

Related: Teen Says Her Parents Called Her ‘Selfish’ for Selling Her Old Clothes for Money Instead of Giving Them to Younger Sister

“A few days ago, I told her I changed my mind and wanted to go to Universal Studios with her and the family instead,” she explains. “I offered to pay for her flight and anything else she needed, but she called me selfish and got upset.”

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The woman says she "stood up" for herself and her plans despite “pressure” from her mom to visit Las Vegas instead. She says things culminated in her mom texting, “Idk [I don't know] who told you it was ok to be disrespectful... You do whatever you want for your birthday, I don't care. I'm done.”

“I responded (while at work), explaining my decision to change plans and how I felt hurt by her calling me selfish when I was trying to compromise,” the Reddit user says. “She responded by saying she wouldn’t communicate via text, calling me disrespectful and accusing me of treating her poorly.”

Related: Woman Accuses Her 'Too Old' Friend of Being ‘Selfish’ for Wanting a Third Baby at Age 42

“AITA [am I the a------] for canceling plans she wanted for my own birthday, especially when this is the first time I’m doing what I want?” the woman asks at the end of her post.

Reddit users shared their thoughts in the post’s comments section, with many writing that the young woman is entitled to do what she wants on her own special day.

“NTA [not the a------]. Your birthday should be about you and what you want to do, even if that's nothing at all,” said one person.

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Someone else said: “NTA,” adding, “I encourage you to be firm in standing up for yourself, and go low contact with your mother to try and teach her that you're not a child she can control.”

Others, however, said that they felt as though both parties were at least partially at fault, and that the young woman could, in fact, have handled things in a better way.

“ESH [everybody sucks here],” wrote one commenter. “You told her you’d visit for her bday, then canceled, said you would visit for your bday, then changed the plans and made it a theme park vaca. If you don’t want to visit just straight up say that cause continuously canceling and changing plans sucks.”

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