Woman Says Bride Is 'Disappointed' by Her Plan to Leave Bachelorette Party Early to Support Her Grieving Husband

A woman is turning to the internet for advice after having to choose between helping her best friend celebrate her upcoming wedding and her husband’s birthday.

The 28-year-old woman shared in a post on Reddit’s popular "Am I The A------" forum that her best friend, who is getting married, re-scheduled her bachelorette party or “hen do” in Spain for June 2025, which is around the time of her husband’s birthday.

“My friend recently and unfortunately changed her hen do dates which now clash with my husband's birthday,” the woman wrote. “We would be traveling back from Spain the morning after his birthday which is a shame.”

She noted that her husband’s birthday is a “sensitive and challenging time for him” since his mother died two and a half years ago a few days after his 25th birthday. She also shared that he had “been struggling with the passing in recent months” and she wanted to be with him on his birthday to show him support.

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Therefore, she planned to spend two days with the bride and her bridal party and leave on the third day for her husband’s birthday, instead of spending the full weekend at the bachelorette party. However, this was an idea that the bride wasn’t very fond of.

“My best friend is understandably disappointed and states her hen do is a one time event for brides and birthdays happen every year,” she said. “I explained this is not just about a birthday, it’s a time of year he struggles… I would feel very guilty celebrating abroad when I know my husband is struggling at home.”

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She said her friend informed her that the third day of the itinerary was “best day of the itinerary,” which she would be missing. The 28-year-old then replied to her that she didn’t “want for her to change bookings and plans to accommodate me” since she was “concerned” that she would be “missing out on anything fun.”

When the woman asked her husband what she should do, she said he told her that while he would like her home for his birthday, he felt “selfish for wanting this.” He also said that he “doesn’t mind either way” what she chooses, but she knows “he is saying this to keep the peace and keep everyone happy.”

Several people in the comments agreed that the woman should make time to support her partner, and applauded her for trying to make a compromise despite the sticky situation.

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One person commented that she should “support your partner.” They added, “Yes, a hen do can be a once in a lifetime opportunity, at the end of the day everyone will remember you supporting your partner and that you still made an effort to be there for the hen do.”

“You’re making the absolute right choice,” another responded. “Missing one day of her party is not a big deal.” 

One person advised, "When she changed the dates, you should have said they don’t work for you. You offered a compromise, she can accept it or don’t go at all. Hugs to your husband."

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