Yahoo Lifestyle This Woman Refused To Share Her Table With A Mom And Two Kids At A Restaurant, And The Internet Is Calling The Mom An A-Hole — What Do You Think?
Recently, Reddit user Silent_Marsupial3824 (or OP, for Original Poster) shared that she recently had a run-in with a mom at a restaurant, and she wanted to know, "AITAH (Am I The A-Hole) for refusing to share my table with a woman and her two children?"
She explained: "During my lunch break (at the busiest time of the restaurant), a woman approached me with her children and asked if we could share a table, since there were no others available. I told her I didn't feel comfortable sharing space with strangers. She got upset, claiming that her situation was difficult with two small children. Luckily, a waiter arrived and told her they already had a table for her. Before leaving, she insulted me again."
"When I told this story to a colleague, she was also upset. She told me I was an intolerant ass for not letting the family sit with me and asked if I'm a child hater. I don't hate children, but I don't like them. I generally avoid going to places with children or having any contact with them at all. But it's not like I'm rude or harsh when I run into them; I just try not to be around them. So AITAH?"
Commenters swiftly came to OP's defense. Even parents were on her side, declaring her, "NTA (Not The A-Hole). People with children have to wait to be seated just like everyone else. I could see this happening at a busy mall food court, but asking at an actual restaurant is pretty entitled. I've had to wait for seating with small children at restaurants. It's part of life."
"I have children. When they were younger, going to a cafe was often my time to get some peace by myself. The LAST thing I would've wanted was to have someone else’s kids (who I’ve never met) in my space."
"It's weird that your colleague reacted that way. Maybe she's a mother herself and doesn't understand that you're not obligated to like other people's children? I understand that children are wonderful, but not everyone is required to share that enthusiasm."
"This is weird behavior. I also have small children. We're all extroverts, but I would never dream of asking a stranger at a restaurant to share a table. Maybe at a seat-yourself coffee shop, but only in a pinch. Generally, if it's too busy, I simply leave."
"Even if someone who didn't have children asked to sit at your table, you'd be well within your rights to say no. I wonder if part of this is a bias against people who eat alone. I say kudos to you!"
"She’s not the A-hole for asking, and you’re not the A-hole for refusing. She’s the A-hole for not accepting your 'no.'"
"Having kids doesn’t mean you can be an entitled d*ck."
"If you were sitting in your car and she opened the door and asked you to give her a ride, you would say no. She'd complain that you have all these extra seats, and she has two small children. You'd try to explain yourself, and she'd get confrontational. When you put the same story in a different setting, you're still not at fault in any universe."
One person even suspected that the mom was trying to scam OP into paying for her family's meal. "Had you already paid for your food (like in fast food restaurants), or would the server bring your bill after you finished eating (like in sit-down places)? Especially considering there were other tables available, this mom likely has numerous ways to weasel out of paying — whether sob-storying you, slipping out and telling the server you're paying for her, or essentially dine-and-dashing."
This user further explained that they "worked in restaurants long ago" and saw this scam firsthand.
But some commenters required more context before making a ruling. "Where did this incident take place? In some cultures, this behavior would be acceptable. In others, this wouldn't be tolerated."
"Yep. In parts of Asia, it's normal or even expected that you'll share a table with strangers at cheap restaurants..."
Others thought everyone was in the wrong. "ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). Sharing a table doesn’t mean you have to be friends. You’re all sharing space regardless. Be kind."
"Yes, ESH. I think the decent thing would have been to just let her sit with you. Spread kindness. If you were in her situation, you'd want the same thing."
A few commenters even criticized OP's reaction to a mom in need, saying she "sounds like an antisocial creep."
"YTA (You're The A-Hole). A little kindness and a smile would have helped three people and cost you nothing."
Silent_Marsupial3824 later posted an update to answer some of the commenters' questions. "I don't understand what the type of restaurant has to do with the situation, but it's a regular restaurant near my work. It's not fast food. You don't need a reservation. If tables are available, you walk in and sit down. All the tables have four seats. When it gets full, you have to wait in line, and a waiter will tell you when there are tables available. In my case, I arrived before the busy time."
"Secondly, I know I could have lied to the mom by saying I was sick or waiting for someone, but why should I have to lie? I decided to be honest, and I don't think I was rude when I told her I felt uncomfortable with the idea to share my space with a stranger."
She continued: "No, I don't have children. I have nephews and some children in my life who I love, but that doesn't mean I like other children. Some commenters said there are places where this behavior is normal. But in my city, it's uncommon to sit at a stranger's table, regardless of whether it's a cafeteria, McDonald's, or a food court."
"Where I live (Bogota, Colombia), these situations of sharing a space like a table aren't common. It depends on the table, of course. I know restaurants where there are long communal tables, and everyone sits at the same table. But this place didn't have a sharing policy or the spaces for that."
"And finally something I'd like to ask those who tell me I'm unkind or selfish: Would it have been okay the other way around? A man approaching a family at a restaurant, asking to sit with them, and not taking no for an answer?"
"Thanks to those who commented, especially the parents. When children are involved, it's good to have different perspectives."
So now, I'd love to know who you think is in the wrong. Did the mom with two kids overstep, or was OP out of line for denying the mother's request?
H/T r/AITAH
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.
