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Woman fuming at boyfriend's 'unbearable' habit: 'Dump him'
A woman has taken to Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong after she and her boyfriend got into a fight.
Posting in the Am I the A**hole subreddit, the woman explained she is a "movie lover" and even has "rituals" for when she watches movies, especially if she's watching a new movie.
She explained that she and her boyfriend of nine months Andy, who she doesn't live with, have a movie night every Thursday night.
"He has a habit of Googling spoilers whenever we're watching a movie for the first time," she wrote. "It may not be a big deal but...I hate it! I hate when he does that! It ruins the mood, the excitement of the movie and so far he's ruined over 14 (what would've been) great watching experiences.
"He did it again after I had a talk with him about it. He says he just can't help it but I said I can't let him ruin the one thing I'm so madly interested in. I can't even enjoy our Thursday movie night anymore because of it. He said I was right and promised he won't do it again. Heck! he even promised he won't keep his phone with him and will leave it elsewhere."
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She continued, sharing that they watched a new movie together at their most recent movie night and she organised popcorn and drinks for them to enjoy together.
"It was a great movie choice I was in the mood/excited to see how events turn out," she explained. "Andy's phone was in the kitchen so I didn't have to worry when he started moving in the sofa looking uncomfortable. I kept staring at the screen and in few minutes I heard "tic tic tic tic tic" keyboard sound!
"I turned my face and saw Andy had my phone in his hand and was seemingly looking up spoilers for the movie. I was like 'you know? YOU KNOW! What the hell did you do that for, you also took my phone?' I got mad he just kept smiling at me with his sharp teeth. He promised he won't spoil it for me and I can trust him this time to not say anything. I took my phone back hoping I'd still find out what happens in the movie on my own. He kept harassing me asking if I wanted him to tell me what was going to happen at the end. I said no."
The woman added, "Minutes later he spoke up and said, 'Hey babe I just wanted to tell you that XYZ will happen at the end'. I blew up, I yelled calling him unbearable and selfish to have ruined yet another great movie watching experience. He said he wanted to ease my mind about the ending after seeing me so worked up like that but I said I was done and cancelled our Thursday movie night and will have a girl night in with my girls instead.
"He got offended saying [I] overreacted over a movie and that he was hurt after I cancelled our 'special night" of the week together. We usually end up having sex later on so I get why this was big deal for him.
"He left and then texted me later saying I ruined the night and was hard on him since this is a habit of his that's hard to get rid of but he's trying and I'm not giving him chance. He wants me to reconsider."
Other Reddit users were unanimously on the poster's side with one user summing things up by writing, "NTA [not the a**hole]. He's a TOTAL a**hole. I'm going to be blunt, he REALLY gets off ruining things for you. There was a post a while back where this guy did it to his coworkers. You know what happened? IIRC [if I remember correctly], they no longer hang out with him because he refused to stop.
"He's never going to stop because frankly, the look of disappointment on your face gives him a power boner and that power boner overrides his valuation of your feelings. Also, you shouldn't have had sex after that because as long as he got off, he wasn't losing anything. It's not a small thing for someone to actively ENJOY sucking the joy out of your life."
"OP there's no need to cancel movie night, just cancel the boyfriend," another added.
"'I can’t help it' isn’t an excuse after 10 years of age," a third agreed. "Of course he can help it. He consciously chooses to look up the spoilers and then spoil movies for you. What do you see in this guy? You deserve someone who loves and respects you, not a tween with a mean streak."
"He sounds like the big kid who gets a kick out of telling children Santa isn’t real," someone else wrote.
"He's spoiled your night and still wants sex?" one user questioned. "Nuh uh. Find someone who doesn't pull asshole moves like this and dump him. Chalk up those nine months to learning what you don't want in a relationship."
"NTA - you're boyfriend is a jerk," another agreed. "It is NOT hard to keep your mouth shut and not spoil things. He's not saying it on accident or in a thoughtless moment, he is intentionally ruining it for you because he thinks it is fun. Yes your boyfriend thinks making you miserable is fun. Because he's an a**hole."
Many others agreed that her boyfriend had plenty of red flags and that she'd be better off dumping him.
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