Yahoo Lifestyle Wife Asks Husband Not to ‘Correct’ Her in Front of Their Kids: ‘He Refuses to Comply’
“He often steps in and tells ME to calm down instead of backing me up in my parenting,” the mom wrote on Reddit
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A couple during an argument (stock image)A mother wants to know if she’s asking too much for her husband not to correct her in front of their two boys when she’s trying to parent them.
The 43-year-old woman turned to Reddit’s “Am I the A------?” forum to describe how she and her 45-year-old husband, whom she has been married to for 24 years, are not on the same page when it comes to raising their boys, who are 14 and 11.
“We’ve been struggling to agree on how to handle disagreements about parenting in the moment,” she wrote. “I’ve asked him not to ‘correct’ me in front of the kids, as it makes me feel undermined, causes the kids to lose respect for me and creates tension in our family dynamic.”
“For example, if the kids are calling me names or talking back and I get upset (nothing extreme), he often steps in and tells ME to calm down instead of backing me up in my parenting,” she continued.
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A couple during a disagreement (stock image)As a solution, the wife has asked him to address any concerns privately with her instead of in front of the two boys.
“But he feels that boundaries like this shouldn’t exist in a marriage where trust is fully developed,” she explained. “I feel like I’m advocating for respect and teamwork, but he says my boundary silences him and makes it harder for him to step in when he thinks it’s necessary.”
She then detailed how her husband now thinks she’s a hypocrite.
“He also argues that it’s hypocritical when I say, ‘Don’t correct me in front of the kids,’ in front of them, because he feels it models the same behavior I’m trying to avoid,” the wife said. “I’ve tried discussing this privately many times, but he refuses to comply with my request, so I’ve resorted to saying it in front of the kids as a way of standing up for myself.”
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Seeking advice, the wife asked fellow Redditors, “AITA [am I the a------] for asking my husband not to correct me in front of our kids?”
“NTA [not the a------],” one reader responded. “Every time he dismisses you in front of your kids, he’s teaching them to dismiss you too.
“Also, this whole ‘boundaries shouldn’t exist in a marriage’ thing is utter bollocks — this is nothing to do with your marriage, it’s about raising your children and the importance of having a united front so that they respect the both of you,” the person added.
So far, most Redditors believe the husband is in the wrong.
“This isn’t ‘correcting’ you, it’s just undermining you,” one replied. “From the title I expected him to be reminding you the sky is blue, not green. But if the kids are being rude and he’s not backing you up that’s just awful. He’s not ‘correcting’ you because you’re not wrong! He’s being a bad parent.”
Read the original article on People
