This viral text is changing how we support moms who just had a baby

In a now-viral TikTok, creator @cameronoaksrogers shares a heartfelt and actionable approach to supporting new moms: a simple, thoughtful text message offering specific ways to help. Her video captures a sentiment so many of us have felt after seeing friends navigate motherhood before us—regret that we didn’t fully understand how to show up for them.

As Cameron puts it: “After you have your first, you go on an apology tour of all the friends who had kids before us. Like, oops, I didn’t know how to show up for you because I never could have imagined what you were going through.”

The text that every new mom deserves

When a new mom is juggling exhaustion, physical recovery, and the demands of a newborn, offers of vague help like “Let me know if you need anything” can feel overwhelming. Cameron’s approach eliminates that mental load, offering new moms something better—specific, actionable support that makes it easy to say yes.

Take this text, for example:

“Good morning love! I am yours from the hours of 12 to 3 tomorrow, so please let me know how you would like to use me. Here are some options:

1. I come while you hang with the baby and I do laundry, bottles, cooking, buy and put away groceries.

2. I come and take care of the baby while you sleep in your room alone or go do something by yourself.

3. I take you out to lunch, the two of us, without the baby.

4. I come and take you out to lunch while I watch the baby.

5. I come and sit on the couch and just watch a silly movie with the baby.

Or…whatever you want!”

Instead of making a new mom figure out what she needs, this message makes it easy for her to accept support without feeling like a burden.

Related: The need for postpartum support doesn’t end after the fourth trimester

The science behind postpartum support—why it’s essential for moms

Research consistently shows that having a strong support system is critical for new moms. Social connections are proven to reduce the risk of postpartum depression, improve overall mental health, and even support the healthy development of the baby. For instance, studies like one published in Scientific Reports found that new moms with strong social support are less likely to experience postpartum depression. The support from family, friends, or community can make a big difference in how a mom feels and copes after childbirth.

Moreover, a review in BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth highlights how crucial family support is, not just for emotional well-being but for getting enough rest, which is essential during the postpartum period. Experts from Cleveland Clinic also point out that postpartum depression affects many new parents, but it’s treatable with the right help—whether from loved ones or professionals.

In short, the importance of a support network goes beyond just making the mom feel better; it has a direct impact on both her health and the baby’s development. Having that support is one of the best things for a new mom as she navigates the challenges of early motherhood.

The rest of the world gets it—why don’t we?

Many cultures around the world have long understood the importance of surrounding new mothers with care:

1. China: The practice of zuo yuezi (sitting the month) ensures that family members handle all household tasks while the mother focuses entirely on recovery and bonding with her baby.

2. The Netherlands: New moms receive visits from kraamzorg nurses, who provide hands-on postpartum care, education, and support.

3. Latin America: The tradition of la cuarentena gives new moms a 40-day period where family and friends take care of meals, chores, and baby duties, allowing her to rest and heal.

In the U.S., many moms don’t have access to built-in support systems like these—which makes intentional gestures from friends and family even more important.

Related: What pregnant moms really need to register for? Way more postpartum support

Building better friendships after motherhood

Cameron’s TikTok resonated widely, not just with new moms, but with anyone who has realized—too late—that they could have shown up differently for a loved one.

One commenter, @chimex_fan, observed, “This is a nice list for someone who is grieving too,” pointing out how these thoughtful actions apply to anyone going through a hard time. Another user, @jaypembz, shared, “My friend takes [my baby] for the day once a week so I can get alone time, deep clean the house, and do any errands, and it’s the biggest blessing.”

The takeaway? These small acts of care aren’t just thoughtful—they can transform friendships and make the postpartum period feel a little less isolating.

Want to help? Send this text

If you want to send a text like this, here’s a template you can adapt:

“Hey love! I want to carve out a few hours to be there for you this week. I can help in one of these ways—your choice:

1. I handle [specific tasks like laundry, dishes, or errands] while you rest or relax.

2. I care for the baby so you can sleep or have some alone time.

3. I take you out for a meal, just us, to recharge.

4. I come over, and we hang out—movies, snacks, and baby cuddles included.

Or tell me what you need most!”

What If you’re not nearby? How to support a new mom from afar

Not everyone has the ability to show up in person—but that doesn’t mean you can’t provide meaningful support. Many people in Cameron’s comment section shared creative ways they’ve helped new moms, even from a distance:

1. Send their favorite takeout. As Cameron suggests, ask for their go-to restaurant before they give birth. Then, after the baby arrives, you can simply text: “Can I send dinner at 7 tonight?” and place the order for them.

2. Create a visitor guide. One commenter, Gabs, made a printable doc for her long-distance friend’s visitors. It included house rules, task suggestions (broken down by time commitment), snack ideas, postpartum depression warning signs, and check-in questions for mom.

3. Load up their Uber or DoorDash account. If they’re in a city where food delivery or ride-sharing is a big help, you can send a gift card or add credit to their account.

4. Give the gift of self-care. A postpartum friend of Audra Koch Pedersen loved receiving a gift card to DryBar for a scalp massage and blowout—something small but rejuvenating.

Distance doesn’t have to be a barrier to showing up. A little thoughtfulness goes a long way, and sometimes, a simple “I’ve got dinner covered tonight” can mean just as much as a visit.

Let’s normalize showing up for moms

We can’t go back and change what we didn’t know before, but we can move forward with intention. Supporting a new mom doesn’t have to be a grand gesture—it just has to be thoughtful and specific.

Have you ever received a text like this? What helped you the most as a new mom? Tell us on Motherly’s TikTok or Instagram.

Sources:

1. Dutch maternity care. The Guardian. A home help for eight days after giving birth? Why Dutch maternity care is the envy of the world.

2. Postpartum accommodations in China. 2011. NPR. For Chinese Moms, Birth Means 30 Days In Pajamas.

3. Postpartum Depression. Cleveland Clinic. Postpartum Depression.

4. Association between postpartum depression and household chores. 2021. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth. Associations between postpartum depression and assistance with household tasks and childcare during the COVID-19 pandemic: evidence from American mothers.