TikToker shocks with 'wild' list of things she refuses to do for her husband: 'Not his mum'

The wife and mother has struck a chord with her views on spousal responsibilities.

Tiktoker sparks controversy with her views on spousal responsibilities
The mum and TikToker sparked controversy with her views on spousal responsibilities. Photo: TikTok/@sheisapaigeturner

A viral TikTok has stirred up quite the debate about household responsibilities and marital expectations, thanks to mum, wife and content creator, Paige Turner. In a recent video, Turner has laid out a list of things she doesn't do for her husband, making it clear she's "not his mum."

Turner frequently uses her platform to address the mental load of parenting and societal expectations regarding men's roles as fathers and husbands. In a recent post, she sparked a discussion by revealing she doesn't do her partner's laundry. This revelation caused a stir among her followers, with some accusing her of neglecting "acts of kindness" in her relationship. However, Turner had a clear rebuttal: "Small acts of kindness mostly just add up to work at the end of the day."


So, what doesn't Turner do for her husband? Well, a lot, it turns out. "You all know I don't do his laundry," she started explaining. "He can do that himself." And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Turner went on to explain that she doesn't cook dinner for him either. "He cooks dinner every night, I do breakfast and lunch for our kids," she said. "If he's hungry, he'll figure out what he's gonna eat for lunch the same way that I do."

Then there's the laundry list of other things she doesn't do: making his lunch, scheduling his appointments, packing his clothes for vacation, and buying him new underwear when his old ones have holes, to name but a few.

"Is it my job? Absolutely not," she asserts. "All of those are things that he's a grown man and he can do himself."

"I am not my husband's personal secretary or his personal assistant, I am none of those things. I am his partner, I am his equal and I do not have to do things to cater to him and serve him at all times," she concludes emphatically.

But lest you think Turner is completely heartless, she's quick to clarify that she does plenty of small acts of kindness for her husband.

"I see a vinyl that I think he's gonna like, I buy it. I'm at the store and I see something that I think he might enjoy eating, I buy it."

But when it comes to the laundry, cooking, and all those other domestic jobs, Turner draws the line. "Those are chores, those are not acts of kindness," she says.

Paige Turner TikTok. Photo: TikTok/@shesapaigeturner
Turner uses her TikTok to address the mental load of parenting and societal expectations regarding men's roles as fathers and husbands. Photo: TikTok/@shesapaigeturner

Of course, Turner's TikTok struck a chord with many, and the comments section exploded with support from the sisterhood.

"Love this for you queen!" wrote one follower, "sounds like you're his wife, not his mom!"

"He married me, he didn't hire me!" declared another, triumphantly.

"The fact that people are shocked by this SENDS ME," exclaimed someone else.

"Preach! Parenting your spouse is such a turn off."

Another wrote: "Exactly how it should be. Team work not servitude."

"WILD that this could be controversial," another follower laughed incredulously.

However, there was one seemingly valid common line of questioning, specifically pertaining to the laundry.

"Why don't you guys put all the laundry in together?" one person questioned. "It's all getting washed anyway, this just seems like more work for everyone to me."

"Wait... people aren't washing the clothes together," someone else asked, genuinely seeming confused.

Although it seemed this wasn't altogether out of the ordinary, with many people chiming in to say they also had individual laundry hampers in their households and washed separately.


And then there were the select few that were just not on board with Turner's approach at all. Some felt she was taking things a bit too far.

"I take pride in doing all those things for my husband," wrote one commenter.

"I would do anything for my husband. He is my KING!" wrote someone else (and the internet collectively vomited in its mouth a little bit.)

But one commenter summed it up nicely, stating, "A lot of men think that having a wife is like having a personal assistant. If that's the case, pay me by the hour!"

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