Anna Swoboda is a Certified Dating and Relationship Coach as well as a Matchmaker whose mission is to help people who have been out of dating for a while to feel confident and skilled to jump back in and find a fabulous new partner.
Question: Are there any red flags to look for when dating someone who's been divorced or going through a divorce? How long should they have been separated before you should date?
When dating someone who’s been divorced or going through a divorce, the key is: Are they ready for another long-term committed relationship?
Everyone is different, so there are no hard and fast rules such as time since separation or waiting until their divorce process is completed.
Here are the three red flags to look out for :
1) Have they emotionally moved on, grieved and healed? The most important sign to look for is how they talk about their ex. If they are too negative or too positive, then they haven’t exorcised their ex!
2) Do they need time to sow their wild oats? Not everybody needs this after a long relationship, but often people do. Are you a transitional love, will they wake up in six months and feel that they are really not ready? They may think they are, but when it comes down to it, they’re not. Look out for the wandering eye. Have an honest conversation. It’s better to find out sooner rather than later.
3) Have they learnt the lessons? Twice as many second marriages fail as first ones. Because people repeat their mistakes. Do they own their part of the breakup? Have they done some personal work or counselling? Do they have a balanced sense of what went wrong and what they will do differently this time? Sometimes people need time alone to do that.
If you have found yourself separated or are thinking about separating from your partner, it can be tough to find advice for what happens next. That's why Cassandra Kalpaxis, a Sydney-based family lawyer, launched Detox Your Divorce, a women's retreat to help you learn how to navigate your separation from industry experts.
You will enjoy two days of transformative education from professionals to assist you to recover, rejuvenate and heal your inner self as well as a gift box worth over $1000!
Get your tickets to the August 26 and 27 retreat at the QT hotel in Sydney here.
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