The shocking new wedding trend leaving couples with 'huge issues'

Couples are speaking out about guests who refuse to do one thing before their wedding.

A shocking new wedding trend is leaving brides and grooms stressed out before what should be one of the best days of their lives.

Couples have taken to social media to slam their guests - who have even included close family members - for not sending RSVPs for their weddings.

Being invited to a wedding can be costly, especially if you’re involved as a bridesmaid or groomsman, but has the humble RSVP gone the way of wallets? Our phones now store our lives with our bank card, driver's licence, health care cards and important documents all able to be retrieved at the touch of a button.

Wedding guests laughing during wedding ceremony on the beach.
Guests are choosing not to RSVP to weddings, causing major issues for couples on their big day. Photo: Getty

A recent post on a Wedding Facebook page has highlighted the impacts it has on a bride and groom who haven’t had all their guests RSVP by the cut off date with one couple realising they wouldn't have the minimum guest numbers required for their venue.

The post read: “Hey everyone, I have a huge issue. Our RSVP date has been and gone and I’ve had less than half of people reply to say they’re coming or not. Most of those who haven’t replied are on my future husband’s side. He’s busy trying to chase them all up, but even if they all say yes, we won’t make the minimum numbers for the venue. Is it too late to invite others with such little time until the big day?!”

Commenters were quick to post how rude it was that guests hadn’t told them either way if they were attending or not and suggestions ranged from inviting more people and speaking to the venue to see if they could come to an agreement on numbers.

Another post questioned what to do when the best man was the culprit who hadn’t replied.

“Our best man agreed to be in the wedding, but now a month out says he can’t get work off. My fiancé is devastated. Our minimum numbers probably won’t be met and now he has to find another groomsman too.”

Happy couple on their wedding day.
Couples say that problems with RSVP can add to the stress of what should be a magical day. Photo: Getty


Make it as easy as possible

Yahoo Lifestyle spoke to Founder of the Australian School of Etiquette Zarife Hardy who agrees there’s been a decline in people RSVPing to events.

“I can only put it down to a few things, people being too busy, not being considerate of others and cost of living pressures. Sadly it does fall on the bride and groom to chase up RSVPs so I recommend them having a good system in place from the beginning.”

Zarife Hardy smiling.
Australian School of Etiquette Founder Zarife Hardy says the RSVP process has to be as simple as possible for your guests. Source: Australian School of Etiquette

Hardy suggests making the RSVP process as simple and easy as possible and to think about the wording you use when sending invites out.

“Make it as easy as possible so definitely not using ones where you have to post back or call but where you can text or go online. The other thing is to think about the language you use when you send your invitations out. Something like ‘if we don’t hear back via RSVP we will assume you are not able to make it'.”

Hardy also agrees the cost of living crisis is an underlying factor for guests not attending weddings.

“It’s a really big challenge of society to not spend ridiculous amounts on gifts for the couple but you shouldn’t ever feel pressure to, especially if you’re not in a financial position to do so,” she said.

Disappointing and heartbreaking

Bride-to-be Alyssa Warren spoke to Yahoo Lifestyle about having to spend hours chasing up on guests for their RSVP leaving her disappointed and heartbroken at times in the lead up to her wedding day.

“If I had my time again, I would have added some sort of clause stating: ‘if we don’t hear from you, then we’ll assume you aren’t attending’ because my hubby to be and I have spent hours calling friends and family to see if they’re coming,” she said.

“We aren’t sure why people were so bad with RSVPing but we had to chase some people up, including our close family multiple times and it just put so much added stress on an already chaotic time that is wedding planning. People will only understand once they go through it!”

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