Teachers Are Revealing The Very, Very Disturbing Realities About Students Today That Parents Need To Start Paying Attention To, And They're Not Holding Back

Teaching in 2024 has become increasingly challenging and frustrating. Recently, we shared stories from teachers who opened up about the “hard truths” about their students that parents need to start listening to and accepting. Following that, over 400 more teachers of the BuzzFeed Community shared their experiences and the harsh realities they want parents to hear. Here are their brutally honest responses.

Dglimages / Getty Images

"I am a substitute teacher — kids need to hear 'no.' They do not respect authority. Parents are letting the phones and computers raise the kids. I've seen most kids NOT know how to tie their shoes from pre-k to seventh grade. They are not taught at home, and we get so tired of teaching every child to tie their shoes. It takes 30 seconds to tie shoes."

—magicalkid98

Fly View Productions / Getty Images

"Allow your child to experience failure without you choosing to 'fix it.' Students should be held accountable for missed assignments, defying phone restrictions, using profanity in the classroom when it is not appropriate, lying to cover aberrant behavior, bullying, and basic disrespect. Parents: stop telling students that 'teachers should spend more time teaching than disciplining children during class.' How is one expected to teach when your child continues to disturb the learning environment? Establishing proper behavior and a love for learning begins at home, not in the classroom."

—Anonymous, 65, Florida

Xavierarnau / Getty Images

"Teachers do not have the time or energy to make up 'lies' about your child. We don't receive additional pay, days off, etc., for informing you about something your child did that you don't like hearing or find hard to believe. We find it hard to believe that you will take a child's word over an adult's."

—Anonymous, 48, North Carolina

Pekic / Getty Images

"Education begins at home. If you don't read with any frequency, neither will your children. If you allow screens 24/7 in all situations and locales, getting them to stop staring at them in classes will be much harder. Asking if they have homework is NOT an interrogation. Making them complete assignments before going out with friends is NOT cruel. Your kid doesn't always tell the truth. Eliminate the word 'fair' from their vocabulary and teach them that there is a difference between 'fair' and 'I don't want/like.' I cannot tell you how many times I ran into students who thought they warranted exceptions to every rule because it was unpleasant or inconvenient."

—Anonymous

Olga Rolenko / Getty Images

"You cannot be besties with your teenager. They need as much guidance, discipline, and modeling at 17 as they did at seven. You can still have fun with them, but their brain has not developed enough (that good old frontal lobe) to make adult decisions. Be a parent, no matter how tough it is."

—Anonymous

Maskot / Getty Images

"Classes aren't always about being entertained every moment. You have to put in time with the boring fact-building (vocabulary and basic skill-building) to get to a higher level of work. Not everything is relatable to every job, but it helps establish the ability to think, learn, and recall information. Besides, goals and jobs change, so having a broad base will make your child more adaptable in a changing world. Having your children do 'not fun' things like chores to get to a bigger fun goal, even at an early age, helps with this mindset. Don't blame a teacher for not being entertaining, like a video game or movie, to keep your child engaged."

—Anonymous

Fly View Productions / Getty Images

"Your child is not special. All children are different, and some require more specific, individualized support in certain areas; that's true. And, of course, we understand that to you, your child is the sun, moon, and stars. But your kid is no better or more deserving of our support/attention than any of their peers. We have 25-plus students in our classroom at a time who ALL need our help. Nowadays (especially coming out of COVID-19 school closures), they've all been told that they are the most important person in the world. They aren't."

"That email you sent me demanding x,y, and z because Grayson gets angry when he doesn't get to go first is just one of many parent emails asking for similar things for their kid. We're doing our best with the limited time and resources we have and can provide. 

I can't give your kid 100% of my attention 100% of the time. I have a room full of students with a wide range of needs for which I am responsible. Your child is a beautiful, unique individual, but they are not more important than anyone else in the classroom."

—Anonymous, 34, Virginia

10'000 Hours / Getty Images

"Complaining about me (the teacher) in front of your kid makes everyone's life miserable. It creates a bias in your kid's eyes, and they immediately no longer like or trust me. They will lash out or openly become rude or defiant. Then working as a team to help your child becomes so challenging that I (the professional) often cry myself to sleep at night."

—Anonymous

Maskot / Getty Images/Maskot

"Please treat us like the professionals that we are. We have college degrees (often advanced degrees) that teach us the psychology of how students learn and help us keep up with the latest research. Also, I have a lot more perspective of what is 'typical' for a nine-year-old than you do because I have seen hundreds of them. I am in this profession because I love kids, and I love teaching kids. If I tell you that your child is struggling in some area (social, emotional, or academic), it is not because I hate children. It is because of my own education, knowledge, and experience. While it is emotional to hear, please don't disregard what I'm telling you or act like I'm out to get your child just because you don't want to hear it!"

—Anonymous, Virginia

Skynesher / Getty Images

And, finally: "If you encourage your kids to physically/verbally harm others as a way to 'stand up for themselves,' you can't be surprised when there are school consequences. And fights that happen over social media that then follow them to school are out of our control. Get your kids off the screens and provide positive, teachable experiences for them. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. Have them watch and help as you do things like grocery shop, cook, maintain your car, clean, build something, or whatever."

—Anonymous, 32, Colorado

If you’re a teacher, what’s one hard-to-swallow pill you think parents today need to accept? Comment below or fill out this anonymous form.

Note: Some responses may have been edited for length/clarity.