‘SNL’ Trump and Musk Thoroughly Humiliate Marco Rubio

This week’s Saturday Night Live cold open set its sights on Trump’s Secretary of State, Marco Rubio, who reportedly clashed with DOGE director Elon Musk in a recent closed-door cabinet meeting.

Trump, played by James Austin Johnson, was shown meeting with Rubio, once again played by Marcello Hernández.

“You’re doing a great job too, Marco, OK?” Johnson’s Trump told Rubio. “You’re the GOAT. You’re the scapegoat, but it’s… it’s still a type of goat.”

When Rubio tried to win Trump’s approval by telling him he has figured out how to take the Panama Canal, Trump revealed that he has lost interest in the area.

“What I’d really love is Thailand,” Trump mused. As he started rambling about the new season of The White Lotus, the camera panned in on Rubio’s thousand-yard stare. The Curb Your Enthusiasm theme played in the background.

The Rubio bashing continued with the introduction of Musk, portrayed scathingly once again by SNL veteran Mike Myers.

After Myers did another portrayal of Musk making a bad joke and awkwardly laughing, Trump tried his best to forge peace between the billionaire and Rubio.

“You two need to start acting like mature adults, OK?” Trump said. “So let’s begin with Marco.”

“Polo!” Musk replied, before smiling and hopping up and down again.

“No Elon, I’m trying to talk to Marco,” said Trump, but Elon just replied, “Polo!” again.

“What is that? What’s this?” Rubio snapped at Musk, repeating his clapping tic.

“Nobody knows, OK?” Trump replied. “It’s his little dance. We let him do it, all right? It’s his least unsettling trick.”

Rubio and Musk went back and forth trashing each other before Trump finally put an end to it.

“If you’re gonna insult each other, at least make them good,” Trump said. “Something like, uh, ‘Elon, how do you have 20 kids, but I’ve never seen you with a chick? Just dudes named Donkey Dong and Boner King?’ You know, stuff like that.”

Trump added, “And, uh, here, watch this: Marco, short and gay, classic!”