“Sister Wives”' Christine Brown Chooses to 'Embrace' Pain of Losing Janelle's Late Son Garrison: 'Never Gonna Go Away'

"There's always gonna be a Garrison-sized hole. It's hard," Christine said of Garrison Brown, who died by suicide on March 5, 2024 in his Flagstaff, Arizona home

Christine Brown will never get over the loss of Janelle Brown's late son Garrison.

The Sister Wives star, 52, admitted that losing her former sister wife's 25-year-old son has been "heartbreaking" and revealed that the Brown family is still coping with their grief.

"I'm just gonna have to embrace that pain, cause it's never gonna go away," Christine told Entertainment Tonight. "It's always gonna be there. There's always gonna be a Garrison-sized hole. It's hard."

Related: Christine Brown Remembers Garrison as a 'Caring Brother' Who 'Understood' His Siblings After His Death at 25

Since his death, the mom of five said she's tried filling up the void with "tears," adding that his death has been "the most difficult thing ever."

On March 5, 2024, PEOPLE confirmed that Garrison was found dead in his Flagstaff, Arizona home. His death was later confirmed to be a suicide.

Shortly after the news went public, Janelle and Garrison's father Kody Brown released a joint statement announcing the death of their son in respective posts shared to their social media accounts.

"Kody and I are deeply saddened to announce the loss of our beautiful boy Robert Garrison Brown," they wrote. "He was a bright spot in the lives of all who knew him. His loss will leave such a big hole in our lives that it takes our breath away. We ask that you please respect our privacy and join us in honoring his memory."

Related: Janelle Brown Says She's 'Grateful' to Have Gotten 1 Last Pic of 'All My Children Together' Before Son Garrison's Death

A week after his death, Christine shared how she was keeping Garrison close to her heart in a post shared to Instagram.

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"I made Garrison’s favorite breakfast today (tinted green, obviously)" she captioned the post, which featured three slides of her kitchen set up and ingredients for the tapioca pudding. "We’re always going to remember and honor Garrison, no matter what life throws at us daily."

She admitted, "It’s such a difficult balance embracing life and daily routines like celebrating holidays and working while grieving. So, hey, I made his favorite for St. Patrick’s Day!"