‘RHOBH’: Is Kyle Richards a Horrible Friend to the Real Housewives?

Kyle Richards has always classified herself as an arbiter of truth. She loves to clomp around, demanding people be “open and honest” in the name of Andy Cohen up above, without quite considering if she herself passes that test.

It’s part of what makes her such a classic Housewife. No one does bold-faced hypocrisy like Kyle. If you learn to embrace that as an asset of the show rather than its fatal flaw, Tuesday night’s episode will give you a good giggle. If you’re desperate for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to climb out of her grip and become an entirely new show, well, this season has probably been a dud. But that’s on you for false expectations.

The episode picks up where the last left off—as is so common with RHOBH. Kyle vs. Dorit only carries on for a few short minutes before Erika ushers Dorit away, but it does give us an all-time delusional confessional from Kyle.

“Now she says this tonight just to make me look bad when I know she doesn’t even genuinely feel like this. Stop.”

I think what’s super cool about Kyle is that, even after 14 years of fans relentlessly jabbing her for being so transparent, she’s as proudly insufferable as ever. Pitching the angle that Dorit’s only mad at Kyle texting PK to have a TV moment is inspired. But next time, say it to her face!

That’s followed by Garcelle wondering if this is a good time to ask Dorit how things are at home. It’s not, but thank you for asking queenie. The pseudo-villain arc is a good look for Garcelle. The high road is so much more boring. And that’s all from the to-be-continued. Surely, we could’ve squeezed that into the last episode.

Next, the Kyle Richards audacity tour goes on the road to Sutton’s house, where a blink-and-you-miss-it tennis lesson is overshadowed by a classic Sutton Stracke moment. As the ladies commiserate, Sutton casually drops that Kyle was cheated on by Mauricio.

That’s something we’ve all speculated, if not known, for the better part of a decade, but it’s one of the unwritten rules of RHOBH to never outright say it. These rules are made to be broken, though. If The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City can speculate if Meredith faked the date of her father’s funeral so she could sic the feds on Jen Shah, surely the Beverly Hills ladies can talk adultery. I mean, they’re not even together anymore. Kyle may or may not have a girlfriend. Mauricio has a framed photo of his Dancing With the Stars partner. Time to air out the dirty laundry.

Kyle’s reaction is just so shameless, too. The entire dialogue is a perfect representation of the Sutton/Kyle dynamic, the most intriguing relationship in modern RHOBH.

“But you also had infidelity…. Let’s not forget that part.”

“What part?”

“Infidelity.”

“Who did?”

“You did.”

“No I didn’t.”

“...With… with Mau.”

“When?”

“You’ve talked about h-him.”

Sutton is an essential member to the show in that she’s obsessed with putting her foot in her mouth. On a show where everyone’s so carefully crafted, it’s refreshing to have someone so cavalier. It’s certainly why she’s constantly fighting with at least half the cast, but hey. That’s for her to worry about, not us.

Meanwhile, Bozoma undergoes fibroid surgery, leaving her bedridden all episode. And that gives the ladies a chance to try and recruit her to their side. It’s not a coincidence that this comes on the heels of Boz becoming a lethal Dorit warrior, but that’s Housewives. It’s a game of Survivor, even if The Traitors seem to think it’s all cupcakes and rainbows. OG of the POT Robyn Dixon will prove them all wrong.

Here, we learn that Boz has 174 besties, a number that blows Ramona Singer’s friend count out of the water. But Dorit is her real bestie, now, and Bozoma sees through Kyle’s attempt to turn the tides.

This causes Kyle to pull out the big guns, bringing the bizarre rumor that Mauricio and Dorit were having an affair on screen. How dare Dorit get mad at memes when she kissed Mau’s shoulder, leading the weirdest people on the internet to gleefully spin a web. Dorit should’ve been more mindful of her behavior in the aftermath of her traumatic robbery. She’s classless.

Is Kyle actually mad at that rumor? Or is this just something she’s saying to make Dorit look bad when she doesn’t even genuinely feel this? Hmm. Makes you wonder.

And finally, Garcelle goes to Bozoma with some Jamaican food. But more importantly, she comes with tea. Having improperly carried the bone that PK texts Kyle, Garcelle’s back with an even juicier tidbit. Now, she knows what the texts actually say.

You see, at a group outing to Chuck E. Cheese (yeah, whatever), Kyle decides to make matters worse by reading them the exact text she sent PK. I’m not quite sure why she did that, but I’m eternally grateful. It’s so much worse than I could have ever imagined—and way funnier, too.

“I know you have a lot of friends but I am also one and here if you need me. I’ve never repeated anything you have shared with me and never would. (Meaning you can trust me always) Will keep sending memes and won’t forget laughing emojis.”

Girl.

Will PK combust if he and Kyle can’t share memes? What happens when someone omits a laughing emoji? Does Kyle use the actual laughing emoji, the sideways one, or is she hip enough to send the crying emoji that’s actually a laughing emoji. Does she know about the skull emoji?

These are questions a real journalist would ask. Andy, please do your due diligence.

Of course, now we know that PK has confided in Kyle, which completely invalidates the core of her argument. That is not the same as sending a meme here and there. That’s not open and honest!

Kyle’s surprisingly sloppy for such a seasoned Housewife. It’s a good thing given this season is resting on the laurels of this feud, but boy is she setting herself up for a fall. Next week, a relaxing spa day will lead to the crucifixion of Kyle Richards, a most exciting prospect. Looks like Garcelle finally delivers the bone, this time.

I’d also like to shout out the RHOBH editors for cutting way down on the awful lyrical music that has inundated this franchise, letting the gorgeous score speak for itself tonight. God willing, we’ve escaped from the darkness and can re-embrace the beautiful stylings that make this franchise unique.