Yahoo Lifestyle Is it time to put down the phones?
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Recently I was chatting with friends about the agony of taking our kids to the park. Actually, I was the one using the word ‘agony’. Others were using words like ‘pain’, ‘boring’ and ‘why do they always need to do a poo as soon as we get there?’.
“I use the time to catch up on my emails,” I revealed. “I get antsy just standing there pushing them on the swings.” “I used to do that,” replied a friend. “But I’ve made a conscious decision to be there in the moment with my kids. They’re young for such a short period of time. I don’t want to miss any of it.”
I don’t want to miss any of it, she said. Um… was she actually implying that I do?
The virtual reality
I reacted rather strongly to her, as I am wont to do. I told my friend she was being judgemental and that it was completely unjustified. I didn’t feel guilty for being on my phone when my kids were playing. I spend all day with them and when they give their attention to something else I am absolutely entitled to turn my attention to myself. Oh yes. I did get my cranky pants on. And I meant what I said. Or at least, I thought I did. Until a couple of weeks later, when I reconsidered the whole issue.
I was at the beach with my mum and my children, looking at my emails while the kids played on the sand. My mum nudged me. “Do you think you could put that away for a while?” she asked. I waved her off. “I’m just checking my messages,” I said. “I know,” she replied, “but do you know how often you do it? You never put that thing down.”
I felt myself getting defensive. Of course I put my phone down! I mean, I keep it in my pocket, but I need to stay in touch! I only go online to check my emails and tweets! And besides, the beach is tiresome. Aren’t I allowed a peek at my phone while the kids are digging in the sand?
But then I started thinking. Maybe I did spend too much time in the virtual world and not enough with the very real people before me. Maybe my kids were missing out. Maybe I had protested too much to my mum and my friend because I knew, deep down, that they were right.
Hanging up & hanging out
I love my phone – or at least, I love the stimulation it gives me. It’s compelling and addictive and very hard to ignore. But I now believe that I must put it away when I’m out and about with my children.
Yes the park is boring and the beach is tiresome, but the kids who are playing there aren’t. And they deserve their mother’s undivided attention, for extended periods of time. After all, the virtual world can keep spinning without me. But my kids soon will too, so I’d better catch them while I can.
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