Yahoo Lifestyle People Are Sharing The Truly Unforgivable Things Their Parents Have Done To Them, And Some Of These Are Rough
We make a lot of mistakes and foolish decisions when we're growing up. But, thankfully, our parents can be pretty quick to forgive us — and our still-developing child brains. Or, I guess more aptly, ground us, then forgive us.
But what happens when parents are the ones who do something wrong? Well, over on the AskReddit subreddit, u/Deviant55 posed the question, "What is something that your parents did that you will never forgive them for?" And the comments were full of horror stories of moms and dads doing all sorts of unbelievable, heart-wrenching, and truly unforgivable things. Here are some of those responses:
1."Kicking me out the day after my 18th birthday because I turned 18."
2."Forcing religion on me. It damaged my mental health, and I'm still recovering from its paradox."
"Raising me as a Jehovah's Witness."
3."In the '80s, my parents would drag me and my little brothers to abortion clinics where we were expected to protest and to try to keep women from getting an abortion. During these little 'field trips,' my father would frequently get arrested, and we would have to hike down to the local jail to bail him out. Unsurprisingly, we also had very little money. Fun times!"
4."They taught me very bad eating habits that have made it super hard for me to stay at a healthy weight. I am absolutely working at — and succeeding in — teaching my children better eating habits."
5."My parents didn't come to my basic training graduation. The only reason I attended my high school graduation was to make my mom happy. They were on vacation so nobody showed up for me."
6."On my fifth birthday, they drove me to the local children’s home and told me I could either choose to behave or they were leaving me there. I remember how much I cried and cried. It was not long after my sister was born and my grandad passed away, so god only knows their mental state at the time, but I don’t think I’ll ever fully forgive them for that!"
7."Forced me to give all my original Star Wars and action figure toys to my little cousins, which they absolutely destroyed within 3 months. They would be worth a fortune now."
"Sold my original Pokémon card collection from ‘99 for $20 to someone on Craigslist. I had somewhere in the count of 80-90 of the original cards with a couple of first edition holos."
—[deleted]
8."Not believing me when I came home from my first year of Uni and said I wasn't on drugs. I was clinically depressed and suicidal, but they said my 'weird behaviour' was because I must be on drugs. I've never knowingly taken anything, even 20 years later. No matter what I said or did, they wouldn't believe me or help me. It took a friend at Uni intervening and getting me some professional help before I could cope again."
9."Ignoring my obvious ADHD in spite of the fact that they were aware of how much I struggled. I got good grades and wasn't hyper, so it didn't matter!"
10."Honestly, it would be the toxicity and overprotective nature of my parents. The way that I grew up made me feel as though I didn’t have anyone to lean on, and it sure as hell didn’t help how my dad always made me feel bad about myself. I always needed to prove myself to him and to try to be better. As a result, I sucked pretty bad at school and didn’t have a lot of friends."
"I guess because of how my childhood went, I don’t think I can really forgive my parents, considering how much it would mess me up later on in my life. I still suffer from having an inferiority complex and can’t appreciate the things I’ve been able to accomplish. I’ve gotten better, but it’s still hard. I respect my parents these days, but I still can’t forgive them completely. I could never have a heart-to-heart conversation with my dad about the things he’s done, and I think that’s why I can only say that I love my dad, but I don’t like him."
11."My father would always baby my younger sister. Even after she turned eight, she still relied on my father to feed her and shower her. She is now completely dependent on my father and can't do anything for herself. This caused serious problems with my younger brother — the middle child — as he would get significantly less attention than my sister or me (although my father never cared much for me either). I'm grateful that my mother was able to try to give us the attention we needed, even if she was the only parent who worked full time."
12."When my son was first born, his grandpa on his dad's side sent me $500 to get through the month. When my mom found out, she asked me for $80 to help her pay one of her bills. I said yes, but that I would need it back eventually because I needed to buy formula. I wasn’t working at the time, and I was a 19-year-old single mom. She agreed, but when the end of the month rolled around and I asked for the money back, my mom went off. She ended up messaging my son's grandpa and said, 'You don’t need to give her any more money. She doesn’t manage it well because now she can’t even afford formula.' I guess I’ve forgiven her, but it really irks me even four years later."
13."Throwing away an entire book series of mine because I was 'too into my own world.'"
14."My mother repeatedly said, 'I have to raise my boys,' and 'I love your brothers, but I don't love you.' She told this to me starting at age eight. I was never given a birthday party while my three brothers had blowouts every year. I left on my 16th birthday after I made sure the whole family heard her this time."
15."They both used me and my siblings to attack and hurt each other. Instead of realizing that we should come first, they selfishly made their divorce about themselves and their happiness, all at the expense of each other and us. Everyone was much worse off in the end. Divorce sucks, but when you have kids, try to make them as comfortable and secure as possible while being mature adults. My relationship skills are fucked because of them."
16."Gave me crippling anxiety and worry that I'll be a parent like they were. They were not monsters by any means, and I had a lot more freedom than most of my generation. There were just some things behind closed doors that made me wish I'd grown up differently."
17."They made me drop every single hobby I got into because studying came first. I learned to hide my enthusiasm from them because of this. Even today, I never show how excited I am for something I do or buy. I feel like I am unable to enjoy things to the fullest because of it."
18."They told me I could buy whatever I wanted since I had a job. Even so, I was very careful with my spending because I didn't want them getting mad that I bought something 'useless.' One day I asked them if it was okay if I bought a secondhand PSP for my birthday. They said it was fine because it was my money. Still, I kept asking them just to make sure that they weren't going to chew me out for it later. A year after I bought it, we got into an argument because my parents weren't satisfied with the money I was giving them. They brought up the PSP and berated me for buying useless stuff like that instead of buying branded clothes to show off to our relatives. I will never be able to forgive them for that. They broke their promise and I was now in the very situation I was trying to avoid back then. Anyways, after that, I just started buying whatever I wanted without telling them or lying about the price."
19."When my mom found out I wasn't a virgin as a teenager, she told me that she wished I were dead. I supposedly offended God, family, everyone, etc. by not 'saving myself' for marriage."
20."My dad openly cheated on my mom in front of me while he and I were on vacation. He offered to bribe me with Spider-Man or Batman action figures because that's what I was into. I was ten."
21."I will never forgive my mother for burning my kindergarten drawings in front of me. I was maybe four or five when she did that. I was obsessed with drawing, and I was constantly doing it in kindergarten. One day, the teacher gave me the drawings to take home, and I was so happy. We had a wood stove at home and my mum was running out of newspaper to start the fire in the oven, so she started to burn my drawings. I was crying and begging her not to burn them, but all she said was, 'No big deal — you will draw new ones anyway.' I also remember that she was smiling and called me 'silly' for crying over drawings. Something in me died that day. I stopped drawing for some time because I was afraid that she would do it again. I'm certain that my mother has a narcissistic personality, and I have so many other stories like this, but this one is the most brutal."
22."I can never forgive my dad for telling me I had nothing to be depressed about. I was suicidal, depressed, binge drinking, and smoking every day, struggling just to get out of bed. When I finally managed to give myself the strength to talk to someone, I thought he would be there for me. I was told to 'man up,' 'that shit's not real,' and I have 'nothing to be depressed about.' I argued with him for hours about it, but there was zero understanding from his side. Cut to ten years and hundreds of arguments later, and he doesn’t understand why our relationship isn’t the same as it used to be or why I don’t want to be around him much."
23.And finally, "I overheard my father telling friends that my mother had fucked up raising me but they were doing a much better job with my little sister."
If you are concerned that a child is experiencing or may be in danger of abuse, you can call or text the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453(4.A.CHILD); service can be provided in over 140 languages.
