Yahoo Lifestyle People Are Sharing Their NSFW Secrets, And They Range From Genuinely Shocking To Pretty Darn Spicy
Recently, Recent_Tourist1913 asked, "What's an NSFW confession you've been dying to share anonymously?" and people had some pretty spicy — and traumatizing — responses. Here are their secrets in all their mortifying, hilarious, and shocking glory.
1."I found out that my dad and stepmom were swingers — but that's not the worst part. I found out when my dad left me home alone for the first time and left me with the family iPad so that I'd have some way of contacting him. His swinger friend messaged him something really explicit about what he'd like to do to my stepmom, and when I clicked on it, I realized this was mutual and had been an ongoing thing between the friend, his wife, and my dad and stepmom. I was so freaked and offended that I responded 'no thanks' to the guy."
"I've never told my dad that I knew, and he's never acknowledged it, though I'm sure he must've noticed later on."
2."I've always been talented in drawing. Back in high school at an all-boys boarding school, I discovered a hidden talent for drawing comics. One day, I sketched a rather explicit comic, porn comic, but forgot to stash it away. A friend stumbled upon it and, surprisingly, asked for more; he was even willing to pay for it. Before I knew it, I was running a custom porn comic 'business' for a year, taking orders and delivering. My grades went down, so I had to stop. To this day, I'm still amazed that the teachers never caught on."
3."I met a girl on Tinder with whom I had a super casual relationship for a few months. We both knew it wouldn't lead to more, but the sex was incredible. We would have incredibly kinky sex, too, and it was generally a lot of fun. It ended when she moved away for work, but I saw her two years later when I attended my cousin's engagement party. Turns out, my cousin lived in the same city that she moved to, and they dated, got engaged, and eventually married. We were both shocked to see each other but played it off like we never met and swore to never tell my cousin."
4."I broke up with my girlfriend but kept in touch with her mother. I got a new place and invited her over for dinner. We're just chatting, and I mention that one time her daughter and I had this conversation where my ex asked me who I would date if we ever broke up, and my answer was, 'Do you think I have a shot at your mother?' Her response was, 'Why not? I always found you an attractive man.'"
"After that evening, I thought it was just a one-time thing because we both had drunk some wine, but she kept coming back, and we both enjoy our time together. If this ever comes out, I think my ex would probably castrate me."
5."I write smut. I'm a corporate suit type by day and a porn fiction writer by night. A commenter said, 'Your fics get me off every single time' — one of the proudest moments of my life, and I couldn't even post about it on my regular social media."
6."My first job at 18 was as a phone sex operator. This was in the late '90s. I had a headset and everything. It was all done by phone — online chat hadn't yet become a widely used platform in the industry. We had male employees, too. The company kept track of our average call times. I usually made the top of the list — a life achievement I proudly carry with me to this day."
"I have lots of weird stories from that time. Also, if you've ever gotten a tarot reading from a hotline psychic, there's a good chance you're speaking to a phone sex operator who got promoted to what we called 'the other side,' which was literally the other side of the call center."
7."I'm a straight guy who used to livestream on cam sites and jack off in front of dozens of strangers. My viewers were probably 95% men. At the time, I hadn't been with anyone before, and my self-confidence and body image were pretty low, so the amount of thoughtful compliments, returning viewers, and offers for payment was extremely validating for me. I would 100% be doing this often if I were still single. Might even try to actually make some money."
8."I was in eighth grade. My mom was married to a guy in the Navy stationed on an aircraft carrier. I think they kind of had an 'understanding.' We go to the county fair, and there is a guy doing some carnival game. My mom talked with him, and I didn't think much of it. A few weeks later, a letter shows up with obvious Polaroid photos in it. I thought, cool! I opened it up. It was photos of my mom in various positions with this carnival guy. I was mortified and carefully put the photos back in the envelope and sealed it with tape. I never mentioned it to anyone!"
9."My Nan asked my husband to look at her laptop because it wasn't working. The search history was full of porn. Specifically mature women having public orgies with younger men."
10."This happened before we were married, but my wife and I dabbled with open relationship stuff. Mostly, I go on a date or two every seven or eight months (I am very busy). One of my friends knew this, and our relationship got flirty. She came to visit me and my wife, and we all sorta knew what the deal was. I ended up having sex with my friend in our spare bedroom after my wife had gone to sleep. It was fun — a little awkward, but only in that way sex with someone new is. We finished up, she ended up leaving, and I went to my own bedroom. My wife was awake and ready to go."
"And that's how I had sex with two women about 20 minutes apart from one another. Hands down the most porno thing I've ever done."
11."I moved back home during COVID. I have the money to move out, but my parents don't care if I just save money and stay here. The only reason I haven't moved out yet is I've been hooking up with a neighborhood MILF for over two years now, and it's awesome."
"Shoutout to my dog for insisting she gets pets from her from the first day we crossed paths walking around the neighborhood."
12."My ex-girlfriend got me into swinging. She introduced me to a group of neighborhood wives, then shortly afterward broke up with me. Why, you may ask? She wanted to break up with me earlier but didn't want to hurt my self-confidence. So she decided to get me in the swing so I could build up my confidence with other women, and she could leave without worry."
13."Years ago, I was fixing a lag issue with my boyfriend's parents' computer. His dad was the pastor of his church. I was tracking where they downloaded malware, and I noticed a TON of sites in browser history about using vegetables as sex toys. The next day, they had us help them with their backyard garden. They were growing rows of carrots and cucumbers. 🤮😖"
"My boyfriend kept asking me why I was so quiet, and I didn't have the heart to ever say why."
14."I had been hanging out with a friend of mine all day who I was absolutely infatuated with at the time. We went to a concert together and then she left me for some other party, and I stood in the street feeling miserable but not wanting to go home. All of a sudden, a man pulled up in his car to ask for directions. He was being unclear about where he was going, and after a bit of clarification, he admitted he was looking for a swingers club nearby. I was intrigued and started asking him about it. The convo turned kinda sexy (I am a gay woman, but it still was kinda hot), and before I knew it, he had his dick out and was touching it while I calmly encouraged him. I held his other hand through the window while he jerked himself off in the driver's seat. When he finished, we exchanged one meaningful hand squeeze,e and he decided to keep on his search and scooted away."
"I was still sad about my friend, but I was turned on and weirdly felt better knowing I'd just had this incredibly strange and harmless sexual encounter that she'd never know about."
15."I worked in healthcare recruiting for a while. We would have Nurses and NPs come to the office now and again to interview with the recruiters if we had specific questions about more detailed specialized experience, IE peds, oncology, etc. Once, we brought in an NP who specialized in urology. We had separate interview rooms with blinds and locked doors. We will call the NP Sarah. Sarah started to drop hints and hit on me, then made some remark about looking at my reproductive system if I ever needed it checked…we fucked in that interview room. No one ever found out."
16."When I was 18 (2004), I made a dating profile that said I was into older women. I was and still am the quiet, nerdy type. As expected, I got zero traction with it for months, but eventually, I got a message saying that it was this woman's daughters who had set up a dating profile for their mother. I was too dumb to worry about scams, and thankfully, it wasn't. We met, and despite the massive age gap (I was 18; she was 47), we actually had a lot in common, and we had a wonderful relationship. We dated for a few years, but she eventually broke things off as other people in her family had issues with my age."
17."My first boyfriend I had sex with drew a very detailed, extravagantly done nude pic of me and posted it on the internet. It gained a LOT of attention. He didn't tell me this for many years, and I have no idea where it is or what it could be under. I wish that I could find it. I was very sexy back then."
18."Not me, but my sister told me it. At 17, she once had a nightmare: Our mom had died. It was one of those really sucky nightmares where nothing outlandish can tip you off to its falsehood. So when she woke up, she ran down the hallway in a delirious fit of fright and burst into our parents' room. A bit of context before I continue: both parents had thought the other had locked their door, and they had coincidentally also woken up early but under much more... positive circumstances."
"She didn't walk in on them in the act, but they were both naked and into some foreplay. She said she was so happy Mom was alive it didn't immediately register what she was seeing (how dark it was that early also helped) and went right to expressing her relief until our very alive mother gave her a very loud 'GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!!'
So, my sister got the best news in perhaps the worst way: Mom was not only still alive but also very much still in love with Dad."
19.Relatedly..."I found my parents' old porn VHS called 'wet wet wet.' I, being 9, thought that was the name of a band and that it was a live show or something…oh how wrong I was…"
20."My high school girlfriend was giving me head in her car outside my house. I was in the passenger seat; she was tucked down under the glove box. My good friend's sister and two random dudes just so happened to walk by. She noticed me sitting in the car but couldn't see what was going on. She started begging me to step out and say hi; I just kept making shit excuses. The two dudes noticed what was going on and started laughing their asses off. I ended up giving his sister the bag of weed I had with me, knowing she would scurry away to go smoke. This core memory still keeps me up some nights."
21."I work in a luxury jewelry brand as a private client manager — twice, I have slept with my clients to increase sales. They were almost 30 years older than me."
Finally, let's end on a few funny ones.
22."My mom bought me a 'build your own sock monkey kit' for Christmas when I was 13. I started it. One night i saw it just sitting there with the bottom open where cotton was stuffed into it. I fucked it. Then, in a fit of remorse and guilt, I buried it in the back yard at night. Years later, my dog dug it up and brought it inside. My mom had questions, but I had no answers, only silence."
23."I had a wet dream about candied bacon once. I woke up upon 'release' and realized I was full-on rubbing one out in my sleep while dreaming of glorious candied bacon. I'm fairly sure I fell asleep high on Mary Jane and awoke completely blasphemous as the lights were on, my legs were spread, and it's clear I had really just gone to town and had a wildly good nut to a food item. This is what being overworked overnights, sex-deprived, and loving bacon coated in syrup gets you."
24."One time in my twenties (I'm a man, btw), I was at a sex party having a great time. I got very thirsty after some time in one of the rooms and left fully naked, walking across the house towards the kitchen. I made it about five feet away from the fridge and water before a woman stopped me and started giving me head. Which was all well and good, but more than anything, I was really thirsty. At this point, a crowd had gathered to watch the spectacle. So now there was a human wall, and some dude I don't know locked eyes with me and was like, hell yeah, brother, and I asked him to get me a glass of water. So, while this girl was putting a show on using my appendage, this little dude ran off and brought me water, and I chugged it while getting head. Twice before she was done. 🤣 I'll never forget his face of glee, he was like the pit crew to a nascar racer. He was all about helping the team succeed."
Now it's your turn — what's your most NSFW confession? Let us know in the comments or via this anonymous form, and you could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post.
Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.
