Yahoo Lifestyle 19 Confessions Of The Biggest Lies People Have Ever Gotten Away With
Recently, I asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share the biggest lie they've ever gotten away with, and their answers both made me laugh and stressed me out. Here are some of the best:
1."I had a friend who I suspected of sharing my personal information with people, so one night while we were drinking, I confided in them that my biggest shame was the fact that I had been born with a tail and had to have it surgically removed when I was a baby."
Pop TV / CBC Television / Via giphy.com
"I told them that I was really embarrassed about it and it wasn't something I shared with many people, but I knew that they weren't the type of person to gossip, so I felt comfortable telling them.I had people asking me about it within a week and I played dumb about the whole thing. I let it go for a while before I got people to confess to where they heard it. Then I confronted the person in a group text and asked them why they were telling lies about me.
I denied ever having that conversation with them and accused them of making it all up. They ended up excommunicated from the friend group and I never copped to it. (If any of you see this, I'm still not sorry!)"
2."I lied about taking a university chemistry course, twice. I failed it the first time, but didn’t want my parents to know (we were splitting my tuition 50/50) So I told them I passed, and next semester pretended to be taking the second part of the course."
"I would hang out on campus, do other work, or go out with friends during the hours I was supposed to be in lecture/exams. I signed up for the course the next year. I failed it AGAIN.
I was in too far and couldn’t fess up at that point, so I did the same thing all next semester. Then I registered for a third time. I put my head down and passed- mostly cause this was a pre-requisite for my degree, and if I didn’t graduate my parents would DEFINITELY find out.
It took me six years to get a four-year degree. Told my parents that scheduling and timetable conflicts [were] to blame. But I graduated, and now have a career in my field. No one ever found out. I bet if I put all the energy I had into hiding it into actually studying, I would have passed the first time."
3."I gave the police false information about who I was once after being arrested. They eventually figured out my true identity, but I beat the case by claiming that I was too intoxicated (on nine tabs of LSD) to remember my name."
4."Lying on my resume. I inflated my previous position to get my current position."
"Nobody called for a reference check, and I’m now making double what I did previously. I learned everything I needed to know to do my current job during the training period.
Many, MANY places don’t check references or credentials during a background check (they mostly just check criminal history) so I don’t feel guilty when job ads ask for too much experience or advanced degrees.
If it really mattered, they would actually check. Note: this won't work for legal, medical, or certificate programs like a CPA."
—Anonymous
5."When I was 16, I told my parents that I was studying at the library for a big upcoming test. I actually drove through two whole states and ended up in California because I decided I wanted to lounge on the beach."
"I told them that I fell asleep in the library and stayed there all night. Somehow they believed me, and they still don't know the truth to this day."
—Anonymous
6."I've lied for two years that I was a part of an elaborate cult. I decided to end it all by saying the leader killed himself."
Pop TV / CBC Television / Via giphy.com
—Anonymous
7."When I was in primary school there were only five Indians in my class, counting myself. Three of us have parents who came from the same state in India but the other two have parents who were from another state in India."
"One day our whole class was sitting on the carpet with the teacher when one of the students asked us if our families knew each other in India. They don't, but we looked at each other and said, collectively, 'Yes,' and spun a whole story about how we were all neighbors and our houses were on the same street in India. Also, that whenever we go back to India we play with each other all the time.
The whole class was so amazed and believed that everyone in India must know each other. It was hilarious but also bad that we managed to mess with everyone’s heads like that."
—Anonymous
8."In high school, I went to a Friday night party and had a little too much to drink and dinged my mom’s pickup against a tree on the way home, leaving a dent above the rear passenger side wheel."
"I slept in late on Saturday morning, afraid to face the music. I finally got up, and my mom was nowhere to be found and my dad was mowing the lawn.
My mom came home about an hour later; she had gone to the mall to do some shopping. My dad finished mowing the lawn and he went to wash the truck. He came back in a few minutes yelling at my mom about the dent.
They came to the conclusion that the truck had been hit in the mall parking lot and the culprit hadn’t left a note.
About 30 years later, I finally came clean to them thinking they would laugh it off. They didn’t laugh, they were pissed and didn’t talk to me for about a week!"
—Anonymous
9."In the 6th grade, I claimed to know Hebrew. Like, fluently. So, under pressure, I taught it to myself for a few years, and now I can confidentially say that I can speak it!!! הוּרָה!"
—Anonymous
10."In high school, I had my parents convinced that I was still attending a private school that I had been kicked out of."
"It took a year and a half before they caught on. My mom, who never paid attention to bank statements, gave me the tuition checks and I tossed them in the trash. I had a friend who assisted the school’s office staff due to his advanced computing skills (this was the early '80s) who would send my folks bogus progress reports and report cards.
I had enrolled in a local public school where I ran afoul of the principal, who contacted my dad about my transgressions late in my second year there. Mom and Dad were pissed, but knowing they still had the tuition money softened the blow."
—Anonymous
11."I'm Jewish. My grandparents were very religious. In my indie-rockstar 20s phase, I got a half-sleeve on my upper right arm, as well as a couple tattoos on my back."
"For years until my grandparents' death, I covered up my tattoos with clothing (and copious amounts of make-up, when the need arose). If my grandmother had ever found out, I'm pretty sure she would have written me out of the will. Now, she never has to know I can't be buried near her in the cemetery!"
—Anonymous
12."When I was 10 or 11, I took my bike to my friend's house without permission when my mom wasn't home. On the way home, I crashed it and messed it up pretty bad."
"I was panicked that my mom would be pissed (she would have been), so I walked it all the way home, lay it out front of our house next to a tree as if it had been leaned up against it.
I went inside and washed up my scraped elbows and put band-aids on before my mom got home. Then I told her my perfectly crafted lie: it had probably been hit by the car of one of the reckless teenagers up the street. I had to wear long sleeves for about two weeks, but it was worth it.
The teens up the street swore on their innocence and never actually got in trouble, but my mom still talks shit about them to this day.
My parents are divorced, and my dad ended up getting me a new bike for Christmas. Win."
—Anonymous
13."[I'm] American, but my grandma's from England so I do a great accent. I live in Manhattan and when out at bars, I lie to men all the time and tell them I'm English. They're obsessed with the accent and buy me and my friends loads of free drinks. It's pretty fun."
"The only time I fessed up was with a guy I actually really liked, and he thought it was hilarious. We dated for two months, but he ended up moving back to Massachusetts."
—Anonymous
14."The biggest financial lie I've gotten away with was telling the guy at the Genius bar that I didn't know what could possibly have happened to my laptop."
"I had spilled water on it, but let it dry completely and then took it in and claimed it must have been a battery issue or something. The battery was on the fritz anyway, so I didn't feel too bad.
This was around the holidays and the Apple store was packed, so instead of doing a full check-up to see what had gone on, the guy got another employee and together they decided to just give me a new laptop. Thank you, Apple. This laptop has been going strong for like six years with nary a battery problem to be had."
—Anonymous
15."Okay so, I worked at an entertainment industry company when I was 24. Not saying which one. For a while, there was this intern who I HATED. He was really entitled and would make raunchy jokes that made me and the other assistant so uncomfortable."
"He was pretty incompetent, which all interns are, so I get it, but he would never be appreciative when we covered up his mistakes.
One day I fucked up and didn't send a client an audition. It was a pretty big client. My boss was pissed.
I told him, 'Sending out auditions was one of the tasks you told me to get Ben on this week.' A complete lie. But it worked, Ben got yelled at and told he was lucky his internship was ending the next week 'cause otherwise he would be fired. Poor Ben was so flabbergasted. I'm almost sorry Ben, but actually, I don't regret it."
—Anonymous
16."My parents said they would pay for my college if I got a STEM degree. I actually switched to comparative lit, but I kept my engineering minor and was able to answer any questions family members had about school and classes."
"I loved my comparative lit degree and have no regrets. I have a great job in a niche field now (so I won't be sharing what it is), and it's all because of my major/minor combo.
My parents never found out, and I graduated debt-free. I'm really grateful to them for paying for my school, and I work hard because I know what I've been given — but I'm never confessing!"
—Anonymous
17."In middle and high school I was obsessed with Supernatural and spent a lot of time writing Supernatural fanfiction. (This alone is a great shame.)"
"For a creative writing project, I took some of my fanfiction, changed the names, and turned it in. My teacher asked if it was actually original (it was)!
I got away with it, but my silly little high school brain did wonder if my teacher had read my freakin' fanfic online, but couldn't bring it up."
—Anonymous
18."I fell out of love with my husband after I gave birth to our baby. Postpartum hit me hard, and I had times where I felt total revulsion toward him. But I stayed; I couldn't bring myself to tell this man that I just... didn't love him anymore."
"Well, that lasted for a little over two years. Then, slowly, I started to fall back in love with him. It was the weirdest thing. I think it really clicked when I saw him 'sneakily' planning Christmas decorations with our daughter. It was so cute, tender, and joyous. I was falling in love with him again.
Our daughter is 7 years old now and has a little brother. With him, postpartum didn't hit me as hard. My husband, kids, and I are a happy family, and I'm madly in love with him."
—Anonymous
19.And finally: "My mom found my weed stash and I blamed it on my brother. She raided his room and found his weed stash. He got blamed for all the weed and for stashing some of it in my room. I'm sorry Frank."
ABC
—Anonymous
Some of these were absolutely wild! Let me know what you think down below. And feel free to share your own stories! Or, if you want to share but prefer to stay anonymous, you can check out this Google form.
