Yahoo Lifestyle People Are Spilling Their Juiciest, Dirty Little Secrets, And Honestly, Some Of Them Are Shockingly Bold
Everyone's got a little skeleton or two hiding in the closet —like maybe it's a white lie they told someone that that person still believes to this day, or perhaps as a kid, they stole their childhood BFF's Barbie but swore up and down it wasn't them.
Recently, redditor DesignerRole1244 was interested in just that when they asked: "What’s your dirty little secret?"
The thread got over 5K responses. Below are dirty little secrets that range from pretty pure to OMG:
1."When I was in grade 1 or 2, someone close to me made 'wee-woo-wee-woo' fire truck sounds in class one day. He kept doing it during a test until the teacher warned them that they would face detention if they did it again. I was the one who wee-woo'd his last wee-woo, not him 😔."
2."Before my husband and I were together, we had a ‘pumpkin soup-making contest’ a few years in a row where we would swap flasks of pumpkin soup around Halloween time. It was pretty wholesome (yes, we were in love and didn’t know it!). Anyway, I was eager to impress, and while my pumpkin soup tasted great, it was a weird green color, so I added a couple of drops of concentrated orange food coloring."
"He remarked on how amazing it was that I’d made it so orange and how much he loved it. I didn’t tell him. I then had to put food coloring in my pumpkin soup every year, hence. He looks forward to pumpkin soup night, and we make a big deal of it. It’s one of our favorite traditions. I still have to put food coloring in to get that orange color he likes. I’ll never tell him."
3."When I was a kid, I used to eat plain butter straight out of the fridge. Like, entire sticks. I would sneak them into my room and just chomp down. My mom thought it was the cat stealing butter. Sorry, Mittens, you were framed."
4."I'm a preschool teacher and still have to resist the temptation to eat Play-Doh on a daily basis. The intrusive thoughts will eventually win."
5."I'm a father of only daughters here. All in their teens. I do the grocery shopping and cooking. When I go to the grocery store on Sundays, I always go to Wegmans just before lunchtime. I go to the sub-making station and order a sandwich, and then I sit all by myself and eat it while looking over sports stuff on my phone. It's just a little bit of quiet 'me time,' and no one in my family knows I do it. I know...I'm a real savage, LOL."
6."I can’t remember if my sister’s birthday is the 6th or 8th of August. I get around this by saying, 'It’s your birthday week! Let’s go out for lunch.' She’s 75. It's way too late to ask for clarification."
7."I'm a big bearded metalhead, but when I'm alone in the car, I listen to and sing along to Dua Lipa."
8."I dropped a shit so big at school when I was 8, that it wouldn't flush, so I left it there. Later on, at recess, my buddy Ryan's telling everyone about this shit he saw, saying, 'It had to be a teacher.'"
9."I changed my cat's name and didn’t tell anyone. I call him that name about 59 times a day, so he knows his name so well and only responds to that name now."
10."I stole a Pokémon card from my friend’s house once in 5th grade. I am 22 now, still haven’t told her, and I still feel kinda guilty about it."
11."Had a guy in my group of friends who I just never vibed with. He was more affluent than all of the rest of us and liked to act it. His money impressed some of our mutual friends, but he was dumb and just bugged me. Well, one day, he loses the keys to his Acura at one of our buddy’s parents' homes in a poor part of town. He starts flipping out after searching for a few hours, saying his parents would get on him if anyone saw his car at the house. He pressured us all into searching all over this place — he was mainly bossing us around until I had enough and said I was done. It didn’t take long for the rest of the group to stop. He flips out and basically shows his true colors and starts talking shit about everyone there. We were all poor, stupid, and so on. Eventually, he left."
"Well, the car sat there for a few days until a local gang busted the windows and slashed the tires. The owners of the house called him to have it towed, but neither he nor his parents responded. Two weeks later, the thing was a burned-out hull. The friend group went about our lives.The guy showed up a few times over the years, at parties and whatnot, but generally, he never came back to the poor side of town. Some of the rest of the guys moved on, too. There are still a few of us who are best pals. In a box, up on my shelf, I keep pictures of them, their kids and spouses… and an old set of Acura keys."
12."I first discovered porn on my grandparents' computer and ultimately ended up leaving their computer with hella viruses. Like, extremely sexual pop-ups, etc. When they finally found out, they asked everyone if they knew who did it. I think I was maybe 11 or 12, so they didn’t suspect me, and I never admitted it. Eventually, they just ended up blaming my weirdo criminal uncle, who had just gotten out of jail — and they kicked him out."
13."I was pushing myself up from one of our dining room chairs, and one of the arms broke off. I knew my wife would be pissed off about that since these were newer chairs. So, I carefully put it back on there. It stayed. A couple of nights later, we were eating dinner, and my father-in-law was sitting in that chair. He got up, and it flew right off. My wife got mad at her dad for that. She asked why she was putting her weight on these chair arms. We can't have anything nice in this house! Someone has to break something."
14."I like to go to CiCi's Pizza for my birthday. I have done this since I was a kid. No one else wants to go there and complains when I bring it up. So, for the last 10 years or so, I let my wife pick where we go for my birthday dinner. Then I go eat CiCi's the next day for lunch by myself. No one else knows."
15."My childhood best friend was a terrible person. So was her family. Anyway, they let their ill senior dog lose all her fur, pee herself, and yipe in pain when petted. I told my mom, and we called animal control. They gave her two days to put her down or take her to the vet. The vet said she was riddled with cancer and in severe pain. So they put her down. My friend to this day believes her neighbors called on them, not me. I'm not sorry."
16."When I was a kid, we had a dispenser of Dixie cups. As a joke, I grabbed one deep in the stack and poked a bunch of holes in the bottom with a push pin, then forgot about it. Days later, my dad used one for a drink, and it spilled all over important work documents. They blamed one of my cousins who'd been over at the house earlier. I never told them it was me."
17."I walked into our walk-in closet naked and accidentally sharted on the carpet. I went to go get some cleaning supplies and heard my wife coming up the stairs. Panicked, I ran into the shower and started cleaning myself. Three minutes later, I heard her yelling at the dog for shitting in the closet. I got out of the shower and told her I would clean it up and punish the dog. I never punished the dog."
18."I purposefully mispronounce words on occasion to piss off people."
19."I slashed my coach's tires. She had encouraged me to buy a lame horse and then tried to cover it up. She took a huge commission on the sale. I ended up having to put the horse down, lost most of my savings, and lost a huge amount of confidence. I'd do it again."
20."I was in college, but home for summer and at a big party at a high school friend's family's lake house. I started feeling a rumble, and I knew the beer shits were coming. The line for the bathroom was several people long, and I wasn't going to make it. I stuffed some napkins in my pocket and went outside, across the street, and into the woods. I did a wall squat up against a tree and let it rip."
"While pulling up my pants, my foot slipped a little bit, and being drunk as a skunk, I thought nothing of it. The next morning the host of the party, a girl I went to high school with, was loudly complaining about her dog tracking shit across the carpet. It was me. I slipped in my own shit and tracked it into the house. Nobody noticed because of the party hubbub."
21."I never grew out of picking my nose and eating my boogers. While it may be nasty, it's so satisfying."
22."I entered into an art contest for PECO Energy in 3rd grade. I had to draw someone doing something dangerous with electricity. So, I paid a kid in my class two bucks to draw it. It won. It won a month in the 1988 calendar and 100 bucks. He never knew...but also, I am a terrible artist!!!! Stick figures are difficult."
23."Most of my family knows I write as a hobby. [However, they don't know] I generally write mild-to-extreme-fetish fanfiction based on My Little Pony."
24."I went on a Mormon mission to Italy and stopped believing in the church about three months in (I faked that I was still into it so that I could stay in Italy). I broke every f'ing rule I could from that point on. Went to the beaches, snuck out at night, slept in every day, hung out with groups of kids our age, etc. Also, I drank coffee, some wine, and alcohol. I HAD A BLAST for the last 20 or so months."
25."I went on a hiking trip with three friends to Tenerife to explore the island's natural parks and the Teide volcano. We planned a hard hike (1300m elevation gain) for the third day after two days of long but not too difficult hikes (average gain of 600m). We told some of our friends about it, and they were impressed by our commitment. On the third day we arrived at the hiking spot and after the first 400m we decided to go back and get a cable car to the top of the volcano. We faked pictures, and all agreed on a version of the story to make it look like we did it for real to friends and families. We literally called that our 'dirty little secret.' No regrets."
26."At a friend's party (hosted at her mom's place), after a couple of drinks, felt bloated (wearing pantyhose, underwear, and shapewear), went into the bathroom and took off some layers, rolled them up, and stashed them under the sink. I planned to come back for them before leaving but completely forgot about it. Fast forward a couple of weeks later, my friend mentions that her mom and stepdad were having some marital issues and mentioned her mom suspected he was cheating because — YOU GUESSED IT — she found some intimates hidden in the bathroom. I should've said something, but I was so embarrassed and couldn't own up to it. I felt horrible about this for so long. Welllllllll, turns out he was actually cheating. He admitted to it after some other evidence came to light. They are now divorced -_-."
27.And lastly, "Clogged the toilet once as a kid. It was my cousin's birthday party. I panicked, fished it out with my hands, and left it in the cat's litter box. An adult eventually discovered it. They were more confused than mad. It was a big laugh, but no one ever found out who did it."
You can read the original thread on Reddit.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
