Yahoo Lifestyle People Revealed The Most Mortifying Things That Happened To Them During Sex, And I'm Embarrassed For Them
Recently Reddit user OrangeJuiceTear asked, "What's the most awkward thing that has ever happened right in the middle of an intimate moment?"
Welp, dear GOD, there were some mortifying stories. Like, I can't help but feel second-hand embarrassment for these folks (I would've 100% run out of the room if any of these happened to me).
So, here are some of the most awkward things that have ever happened while folks were having sex:
Note: Some submissions were pulled from this Reddit thread by user u/No-Wolverine-2321.
1."We were doing doggy style. Halfway in the entire time until she started to orgasm, then I shoved it all the way in, and she squealed loudly. Then she let out the biggest, longest, hottest fart I've ever heard/smelled in my life. I still don't understand the sensation I had of uncontrollably laughing but having to hold my breath, all the while feeling sad for her because she started crying but couldn't stop her orgasm and didn't want me to stop. Not much conversation after that one..."
2."I stuck it up the wrong hole. My girlfriend passed out, knocked out by hitting her jaw on the sink. Her mother came in as I was trying to bring her around. We were still very much naked."
3."Once, I was having sex at a friend's house we were petsitting for overnight. My boyfriend at the time had me bent over their couch, and we were both naked. Right in the middle of the act, one of the dogs snuck up and licked my boyfriend's butthole. It definitely ended the event."
4."She really wanted to have sex, but I wasn't feeling well — I caved, though, when she asked again. So, after all the excitement and messing around we were doing, we started at it in the doggy position. I felt a tad nauseous but brushed it off. I had a mission, and not 10 seconds later, I just projectile vomited over her back and the back of her head. In my shock and horror, I go to grab something to clean/finish being sick. She's mortified but trying not to move to avoid making more of a mess. I turned to vomit again, and it landed all over her shoes — they looked like gravy boats filled with sick. It was horrible."
"After this, I ran out of vomit, so I cleaned her up and got her in the shower to give her a good clean. I don't know how, but we managed to finish in the shower. I am a trooper and couldn't leave her unsatisfied.
I felt so bad, so I had her wait for me in the kitchen with some wine while I nuked the room. When she was told it was clear, I bought her new shoes for committing war crimes to her previous pair.
After this, she surprisingly wanted to see me again, and we did for a few more times."
5."She said, ‘I can’t wait to suck your dick,’ and in the heat of the moment, I said, ‘I can’t wait to suck your dick’ back to her. She laughed me off the bed."
6."I have a pacemaker, and it kept shocking me. My boyfriend freaked out, jumped away, and was convinced I was going to die, and it would be his fault. I was fine."
7."I was super preggers, and we were doing 69. I gagged on him and peed a little bit on his face and in his mouth. I was mortified, and I felt so fucking bad 😂. It’s funny now that I look back — it was over five years ago!"
8."In a small, family-run hotel in the UK, we decided to do the deed before going down for breakfast. After a load of foreplay, I went to go inside and tore my banjo spring. The white sheets looked like Jack the Ripper had decided to work out his frustration in that room. Had fun trying to explain that one to the owners..."
9."His mom walked in on me going down on him with my back to her while she held a plate of baked goods. She said, 'Oh my, you’re pale — are you okay? Never mind, I’ll ask you later.' She walked out laughing and shut the door. This woman is now my mother-in-law and has been for five years. She still asks me if my iron levels are low. She's sweet — just not the brightest bulb."
10."I threw up on a girl's lap one time after getting a pube stuck in my throat. I started coughing, choking, and then barfed all over her crotch. She was highly offended, and it was a while before she let me try again. Good times."
11."My wife and I were doing doggy style and forgot to lock the door. Our 2-year-old came waltzing into the room, looking for attention. I'm still inside my wife, with the sheets/blankets not within reach. We both had to shimmy at the same time so we could get to the blankets so we could detach without revealing ourselves."
12."I was having sex in a shared hotel room (we were broke, and it was college). Someone got up and turned the lights on to go pee — turns out there was another person in the bed next to us and we had no idea."
13."A girl I got with blew her nose in her own panties mid-coitus because she couldn't be bothered to get a tissue (a box of Kleenex was on the nightstand). I was mortified. No, she didn't put them on once she left (thank god)."
14."My cat decided it was the perfect time to jump on the bed, sit right next to us, and just...stare. I swear he was judging my performance the whole time. Nothing kills the mood like feeling evaluated by your own pet."
15."The guy stuck a dildo up my butt, and when he pulled it out, there was an entire turd on the end of it. Like, a whole poop. It was like he had taken a fork and plucked a whole entire turd out of my butt. He was really nice about it, though. He laughed about it and then just got some Febreze."
16.And finally, "I was fingering my ex. She was cumming and jolted, causing my finger to slip, and my nail cut the inside of her vagina. There was bleeding EVERYWHERE, so we rushed to the ER, where she needed stitches. Who else should do her stitches at the hospital for wound care? My fucking brother. This was the first time she met my brother, and it was awkward at Christmas the next time she met him."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Let's flip the script a little bit here, folks: What's the absolute sexiest and kinkiest thing that's ever happened to you during sex? Like, a proud story you want to shout from the darn rooftops?!
Share with us in the comments below (or in this Google Form if you want to remain anonymous).
The best submissions will be featured in a BuzzFeed Community post!
