What Parents and Grandparents Need To Know About Sadfishing

In today’s day and age of connecting instantly with others on the Internet, namely through social media platforms, it’s unfortunately easier than ever for people, and specifically, children and teens, to fall prey to false identities and scams. That’s why it’s important for parents to be vigilant and aware of the latest trends in these types of things that are happening online. One of the latest "trends" to come back around on the World Wide Web? Sadfishing.

From covering sadfishing's meaning to how it differs from catfishing, a child psychologist warns parents and grandparents about what signs to look out for. Plus, find out how to help your children and grandchildren avoid this behavior online.

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How Does ‘Sadfishing’ Differ from ‘Catfishing’? 

You may already be familiar with the term “catfishing," in which someone creates a fake identity online in order to fool others. Catfishing has become a blanket term for someone who purposely misleads people online, but it can apply to tricking people out of money, blackmailing them or even stealing their identities.

In fact, people under 20 fall for online scams more frequently than those from other age groups. A 2023 study from the site Social Catfish reported that teens and children show the largest percent increase (nearly 2,500%) in money lost between 2017 to 2022.

With this in mind, parents should know that a relatively new term, “sadfishing,” has also re-entered the lexicon. Based upon the idea of catfishing, it was coined in 2019 and has been gaining steam as a term on social media.

As child psychologist Erica Miller, PhD explains, sadfishing is posting online content, intentionally or unintentionally, that elicits sympathy and compassion from others. Although sadfishing doesn’t necessarily result in lost money or a stolen identity, it does prey upon people’s compassion in order to seek attention, understanding or engagement with followers.

It can include things like dramatic, vague posts that don’t have context, crying videos or selfies, seeking validation through extreme sadness or sharing too much information when it comes to emotional, private issues.

Your child might be falling prey to this trend or even doing it themselves.

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Why Has Sadfishing Become a Trend?

Dr. Miller believes that since teens are increasingly turning to online formats as a means of socialization and validation, and often compare themselves to others or quest after “likes,” sadfishing is simply a way to gain attention and support from others in a way that might seem harmless on the surface but can play with people’s emotions and sympathy.

What Are the Negative Consequences of Sadfishing?

“[Sadfishing] promotes the idea that in order to get attention or be liked, you have to have be dramatic, or have a sad story, that we are not worthy of empathy or compassion with our current stories,” Dr. Miller says. “It sends the message that that we are not enough as we are—our stories and our experiences don’t matter unless we dramatize.”

For those who sadfish, repeatedly communicating this extreme level of distress can cause others to no longer believe them, and this constant validation-seeking can negatively impact their mental health.

When someone falls for someone’s sadfishing, it can make it more difficult to stay compassionate if they keep seeing these types of posts over and over again. It also can be a challenge to identify actual cries for help—think of the little boy who cried wolf. When someone posts these types of stories online, there’s virtually no way to verify the truth, so they could be very well making it up or exaggerating details.

How Can Parents and Grandparents Help Kids Avoid Sadfishing?

If they’re the ones sadfishing, it’s important to guide children and teens away from this behavior. They may not even be fully aware that they’re doing something that could have a negative outcome, for themselves and for those reading their posts.

To be on the lookout for sadfishing, it might be a good idea to monitor a child’s social media accounts, as Dr. Miller says, or encourage an open dialogue in which you connect with your child and make them feel like they are “enough as is” by validating their circumstances, thoughts and feelings.

“Helping kids feel as though we see them as they are, and believing in their current experiences and are there for them, will ideally reduce their need to get additional validation in this format,” Dr. Miller says. “But often, parents do not connect with their kids, or we want to minimize their struggles because we think that this will help them to move on, when it is often more helpful to really listen and understand their current experience.”

Also, if your child or teen is truly going through something, and is sadfishing as a result, it might be a wise thought to explore the possibility of therapy and other mental-health supports.

Up Next:

Related: 6 Things a Child Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Start Doing ASAP

Sources:

• Erica Miller, PhD, child psychologist

• Social Catfish: “State of Internet Scams 2023”

• Grazia: “I Invented The Term ‘Sadfishing’ So Let’s Talk About What It Actually Means”