“Outlander” recap: Is Lord John dead?

Outlander has reached a point where the can of worms has not only been opened, but the contents have been flung everywhere. Decade-long secrets are uncovered. Clandestine information is out in the open. All bets are off. And I’m not even talking about covert activities pertaining to the upcoming war.

I’m talking about two characters who suffered personal blows in their lives: William (Charles Vandervaart) and Lord John Grey (David Berry). Until the last moments of the episode, I was unsure who would have claimed the “Worst Day Ever” title. Then we hear a gunshot, and one candidate definitely wins the prize.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Why were William and Lord John having no good, very bad days? Let’s start with Lord John, who has just witnessed his best friend Jamie (Sam Heughan) return from the “dead,” only to pretend to kidnap him, steal a few horses, and hide away in the woods.

Both men are on edge. Lord John, although relieved that Jamie has a pulse, is bewildered as to why he would come to his house when he’s clearly running from the red coats. Couldn’t he just lurk on the edge of town and not make a scene that involved a fake abduction? 

Jamie has zero qualms. He had to see Claire. He had to show her that he was alive, knowing she would be beside herself with worry. Also, he had something in his possession that he didn’t want anyone to find. Then, he praises Lord John for taking good care of his wife.

Oh, he took good care of her, alright. Could this moment be any more awkward? Lord John looks like he’s going to puke when he interrupts his friend’s admiration to practically shout that he has “carnal knowledge of your wife.” I scream at my screen out of embarrassment. Jamie barely blinks and calmly asks Lord John why this happened.

Lord John fanatically explains that he and Claire thought Jamie had drowned. Jamie is curious if this was by force or desire. Because neither makes sense to him, considering Lord John’s affections toward men. Lord John continues, his adrenaline level high, spelling out that both he and Claire weren’t making love to each other. They were pretending the other was Jamie.

That is when Jamie punches Lord John dead in the face.

Related: Outlander recap: Claire responds to Lord John's proposal

While Lord John’s day continues to go south, William’s knocks have just begun. He starts by asking Claire (Caitriona Balfe) if she knew Jamie was his biological father. When she confirms that she’s known all along, they play a rousing game of 21 Questions. Was his mother reckless? Did Jamie take advantage of her? Did they love each other at all?

Of course, William has no interest in any of Claire’s answers and chooses to destroy every piece of furniture between her room and the front door, including a mirror. Once on the streets, he passes a lady of ill repute, who invites him in to have a drink. William’s anger gets the best of him, and the scenario ends with the woman throwing him out of her abode.

Back in the woods, a band of militiamen wanders up to Jamie, beating the living daylights out of Lord John, and intervenes. One of the men remembers Lord John as an officer and finds it concerning that he is not in uniform. Jamie is uninterested in being taken as a prisoner, so he agrees to let the rangers have Lord John. He leaves, promising his old friend that they are not finished.

When the men inspect Lord John’s pockets, they find paperwork that declares he is indeed active military. And since he is in regular clothes, he must be a spy. Do you know what happens to spies? They are hung in front of everyone at the camp. Remember Paoli!

The emotional battle cry means nothing to Lord John. Confused and annoyed, he’s taken to Colonel Watson Smith (Anthony Howell) to justify his allegiance. Lord John immediately reminds Colonel Smith that they once met in his sister-in-law’s drawing room, where they were dining on cucumber sandwiches. He’s not a rebel. But it appears that Colonel Smith is definitely a turncoat.

Colonel Smith takes a beat and divulges some disturbing information. Apparently, Lord John’s distant cousin Charles Grey and his troops killed 100 men in their beds, using nothing but bayonets. It’s known as the Paoli massacre, and Colonel Smith is pretty sure Lord John will hang because the men are starving for justice, and his last name is Grey.

Related: Outlander recap: Claire receives devastating news in America

Meanwhile, Jamie meets up with Colonel Morgan, who we met in Saratoga, and hands over the mystery item that had the British chasing after Jamie. It’s correspondence from France, and upon reading it, Colonel Morgan decides it’s time for Jamie to meet the big man himself. Say hello to George Washington!

Washington is impressed that Jamie risked his life to deliver the letter on his own accord. As a reward, he offers Jamie a position in his army as a commander of a battalion. Jamie is honored by the appointment. You can now call him Brigadier General James Fraser. I don’t know how I feel about this, and I’m certain Claire is not going to be happy about it either.

Later, we find William helping people evacuate from Pennsylvania, knowing that war is inevitable. When he sees Rachel (Izzy Meikle-Small) in the queue of haggard people, we witness him genuinely smile. It fades when ​​Young Ian (John Bell) comes into view. His face downright hardens when he learns that Rachel and Ian are engaged to be married. This is a classic definition of someone not having a poker face. Especially when William tried to knock Ian out cold.

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William’s anger once again appears, further proving that he is the son of his hot-tempered father. He’s mad at Rachel for not telling him about his real father. Then he bemoans being the bastard son of a Scottish criminal, causing Ian to lash out against William. Cue round two.

William quickly places Ian under arrest for assaulting an officer, as Rachel calls him a coward. When he lunges to kiss the young girl, she responds by spitting onto the ground. William is definitely spiraling.

Things get worse when Jamie comes along and spies Ian tied to a wagon. He gallops up to William, dismounts, and drags his heir to a tree, demanding that he set Ian free at once. Fortunately, William obeys and ends up licking his wounds in the same whorehouse as before.

Related: Outlander star David Berry talks Lord John's shocking question

He’s there to make things right with Arabella (Silvia Pretense) and outbids a commanding officer for one night with the girl. When they are alone, William promises not to hurt her and even offers to keep his hands to himself to prove he is a gentleman. Arabella warms to him and confesses that her real name is Jane. When William settles in to sleep on a chair, she invites him to share the bed.

Jane is ready to roll, but William is determined to keep his word. It’s a matter of honor, and that’s all he believes he has left in the world. One thing leads to another, and they do the deed. William weeps in Jane’s arms, heartbroken that she made him break his word.

Speaking of breaking, Lord John isn’t looking too good at the campsite. Lo and behold, Dr. Hunter (Joey Phillips) is there and makes our boy an eyepatch to help the swelling. Later that night, the good doctor hands Lord John a plate of food, with a hidden knife, warning him that he most assuredly is going to hang and he has to escape. Unwilling to put Dr. Hunter at risk by hiding in his wagon, Lord John eventually cuts himself free and heads off into the woods.

Back in town, Jamie confronts Claire regarding her tryst with Lord John. He wants to know all the details, which I find odd, but whatever, and Claire obliges. She speaks of drinking brandy and how they were both drunk. She remembers Lord John not wanting to mourn alone and how she needed physical touch.

They go round and round, talking in circles about how Claire thought Jamie was dead. He may have been tender and sad when he slept with the woman in the cave when Claire was gone, but she and Lord John were more violent. Claire likens it to triage. Lord John stopped the bleeding. He placed his grief over Claire’s grief.

Related: Outlander producer breaks down season 7 return, Roger's shocking discovery

Jamie softens and, finally, gets it. The good news is that Jamie didn’t kill Lord John in the woods. The better news is that Claire is still his wife. And he’s done talking. It’s time to take Sassenach to bed.

Claire joyfully sleeps with her husband as her other one runs for his life through the woods. When we hear the gunshot, the screen goes black. Does this mean Claire only has one husband now?

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