OOO? No, just negotiating nap time with a toddler. How working parents are setting boundaries with creative auto-responder emails.

It was early summer break in 2023 — the part where kids are excited to be out of school and working parents are trying to balance their need to make money with paying for summer camp with taking kids on summertime adventures. That’s when freelance journalist Meg St-Esprit got a “snippy” response from a work contact when she didn’t respond immediately to an email. “I generally reply quickly, but there’s not this expectation that it’s instant messaging,” she tells Yahoo Life.

So she updated her email signature. It read: “I may be slower to respond in the months of June, July and August due to the United States’ inability to provide affordable child care for working mothers.”

St-Esprit shared her update on Twitter (now X), not realizing it would rack up nearly 160,000 views and an appearance on Good Morning America. Beyond setting work-life boundaries, St-Esprit shares that her signature was a “gut check” for people to reflect on why they expect people to respond so quickly — and an opportunity to give a little more grace.

“Email shouldn’t have a sense of immediacy, but I think it still does," says St-Esprit, whose message struck a chord with fellow working parents struggling to find reliable and affordable child care. There are a lot of them: U.S. census data from 2022 shows that 61% of parents with at least one kid at home reported not having any formal childcare arrangements, an issue that typically worsens in the summer and on holiday breaks when there is no school in session.

'Permission to have an identity that goes beyond my job title'

And then there are the other everyday demands that have parents needing to carve out more time away from their work computers. That includes Terri Huggins, a mom of two boys and an editorial consultant from New Jersey. (St-Esprit and Huggins have both previously written for Yahoo Life.) Huggins sent this out-of-office email this past Halloween:

“Today, I'm having fun in my other role as Supermom. What does that mean? It means I'm attending multiple school parades, class parties and trick-or-treating. Yet, I'm somehow working in between! So while I'm cheering my kids on, I welcome cheers my way to make it happen. This is challenging but exciting. But since I'm still human, all the excitement means it may take longer for me to respond. While you await my response, I hope you remember to honor all sides of your identity. We were never meant to make our careers our entire identity."

But more than just creative wordsmithing, these parents point to the necessity to create boundaries where they can, and to communicate to their colleagues that there isn't just a workhorse behind a screen — but also a parent.

“I know how it feels when you're shouldering the world alone," Huggins tells Yahoo Life. "I've felt that long before motherhood, but I think those feelings only intensified once I had kids. Because of that I try my best to help others feel seen and supported, and my out-of-office messages are just one way I do that." Those automated email messages "gave [me] permission to have an identity that goes beyond my job title," she adds. "I always hoped it permitted others to go beyond their job titles too.”

As she continued to write them, the messages also became part of her “personal brand.” Huggins now teaches a workshop on drawing boundaries through similar communications.

Leading by example

As the CEO and co-founder of CouponChief, Gary Gray tells Yahoo Life that indicating his other obligations — including his family — in his email auto-responder helps set an example for the 30-plus remote employees he oversees. “We really strive to maintain healthy boundaries, because things can get blurry when you're working in a more flexible environment," he says. "It also nudges other team members to do the same and I’ve seen some really cool OOO messages as a result.”

One favorite: “Hello! I'm currently out of the office, embracing my role as a full-time parent and part-time superhero." Another: "Thanks for your email! I'm currently out of the office, mastering the art of multitasking between snack time and conference calls. I’ll get back to you once I’ve successfully negotiated nap time with my toddler."

John Russo, vice president of technology Solutions at OSP, a health care software solution company, sees these email communications as an "opportunity to humanize the interaction and set an example for balancing responsibilities." He himself has used a variation of this: "Thank you for your email. I'm out of the office spending quality time with my family and will be back on [date]. Your message is important to me, and I'll respond as soon as possible after my return."

Explains Russo: "This not only communicates my availability but also subtly emphasizes that work-life balance is a priority. It sets the tone for others to respect those boundaries while encouraging them to do the same in their own lives." He too has noticed that his emails have had a "ripple effect" in the office. "Team members and peers alike have shared with me how it reassures them it is OK to take time off and even necessary for long-term productivity and well-being," Russo says. "It's a small but impactful way to advocate for a culture of respect and understanding within an organization.”

“As someone who juggles sales calls, strategy sessions and parenting, I realized, some time ago now, that out-of-office messages can do more than set expectations — they can show people you’re human. How amazing,” adds Milosz Krasinski, CEO of Chilli Fruit.

Krasinski says he's had a "great response" from this automated message: "I’m currently out of the office, wearing my other hat as a full-time snack distributor, bedtime negotiator and Lego architect (aka parenting). I’ll get back to you after [date], once I’ve successfully survived this dual role. If your email is urgent and can’t wait for me to swap back to my work cape, please reach out to [his backup email]. Otherwise, I’ll respond as soon as I’m back at my desk (probably with coffee in hand and glitter somewhere it shouldn’t be).”

Krasinski says it works because it’s relatable and makes people smile. “They don’t see you as just another email address now but as someone balancing real-life chaos, just like they are.” He has also found it garners respect. “It’s like a gentle reminder that everyone has a life beyond work, and honoring that makes all the difference. People tend to be more patient, and conversations feel a bit more personal when you return.”