“NCIS” recap: Wait, can hackers “do” that?

If you thought your fears about autonomous vehicles could be confined to Cybertrucks and other self-driving cars, this week’s installment of NCIS invites you to think again.

Navy Lt. Mason Winslow and his wife Ashley (Alyson Gorske) are bickering about dishwasher-loading techniques when their car goes on autopilot, locking them in and driving them to an empty garage.

Hours later when NCIS arrives to investigate, Mason is missing, Ashley’s in the hospital after fleeing the scene, and an attacker is dead on the floor thanks to Mason fighting back with a large pipe.

According to Parker (Gary Cole), the remote hijacking was accomplished using the car’s internet-connected lane-assist technology. Yes, I googled “can all smart cars be hacked?” for this recap. Yes, I’m concerned that this has landed me on some kind of watchlist. And yes, apparently it is possible to do this, to a degree.

As the team interviews Ashley, Parker spaces out when he sees boat ghost girl Lily flitting around the hallway. This concerns Knight (Katrina Law), particularly because she’s the only person who knows about Alden’s spectral visitor on the boat in last season's finale. So when they get back to NCIS HQ, she activates the emergency stop on the Elevator of Schemes and Secrets to check in on him.

Parker makes a joke that's a stellar knowing wink to the audience: “You know, someday those buttons are going to break and someone’s going to be in a world of hurt.” Then he deflects like crazy, chalking up his spaciness to hospital heebie-jeebies, not PTSD. He promises Knight that it’s not going to be a problem, and she restarts the elevator. Broken button crisis averted! The jury’s still out on the Alden crisis, though.

Thankfully, no ghost girl can stop the investigation. The team’s suspicions are immediately raised when they learn that Mason was Scrooge McDuck-rich thanks to his family’s multinational oil conglomerate. A ransom situation, maybe?

But as Palmer (Brian Dietzen) runs through the attacker’s autopsy results, Parker gets the call that Mason’s body has been found. RIP Scrooge McDuck. He died doing what he loved: arguing with his wife about household chores.

Also, Kasie (Diona Reasonover) reports that this is the latest in a string of remote carjackings that ended in the drivers’ death. So not a kidnapping for ransom, then.

Related: NCIS recap: Sometimes being a CI really sucks

On the way to the spot where Mason's body was found, Parker spots Lily again and blows a stop sign, almost causing a nasty crash with Torres (Wilmer Valderrama) and Knight on board.

Enter Dr. Grace Confalone (the always welcome Laura San Giacomo)! She pays a house call to Parker's plant daddy haven, where he admits that he has no idea who Lily is. He even asked his dad about girls from his past with that name and came up empty, and wait, what? I’ve spent months assuming Lily was his dead sister, so this is a twist!

Parker definitely doesn’t want to talk about his late mother, who went out for pastries when Alden was a kid and never came back. Oh sure, sure. No trauma there. Nothing at all that affects adult Alden to this day, no siree. Anybody want a kolache?

Parker asks Grace to please re-repress whatever memories have surfaced, but she counters that this could leave him with false memories. They're making slow progress until Parker goes and blows off their follow-up meeting the next morning. Whomp whomp.

Back to the case! Kasie has a recording of a 9-1-1 call from a remote-hijacked woman who died in a car crash before she could be murdered by the hackers. At least she died doing what she loved: frantically comparing her life-and-death situation to a Stephen King book.

Related: NCIS recap: The long diss for Knight

Her wrecked vehicle allows Kasie to identify the portable hot spot that took control of the woman’s car. It's registered to a hacker named Sally Clark (Sierra McCormick), whose current address is the North Brook Detention Center.

Has anyone in lockup ever had as immaculate a cut, color, brow, and lippie game than Ms. Clark? She’s imperious with Cliff (Rory O'Malley), her dim-bulb public defender, but it's clear from her expression that she knows who's using her old hot spot.

McGee (Sean Murray) and Knight agree to see if Vance will cut her a deal in exchange for a name, then they watch their NCIS-issued vehicle drive away by itself, another remote hacking victim. How much to Uber back to the Navy Yard, I wonder?

While the entire law-enforcement community gives the team crap for putting out a BOLO on their own car — which is weird, because it’s not like they left it unlocked with the keys in the ignition or anything! — Parker happily escapes Knight’s concerned gaze to grab the group coffee.

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Grace is waiting for him at the coffee cart patio as he's juggling their complex caffeine requests. She suggests that his mother played the role of an angel in his vision last season when she told him to mind the rope attached to an underwater Knight.

Parker lashes out over the mere suggestion that he has mommy issues and storms away. But after some heavy-handed encouragement from Palmer and Kasie, he goes back to talk things through more calmly.  Grace suggests he pay attention to his mood, stress level, and surroundings the next time he sees Lily, possibly even welcoming her in to help unlock the reason he's seeing her.

Then Parker gets a call from Kasie with the news that their stolen car has turned up and absent-mindedly kisses Grace goodbye. It's awkward… but I also don’t hate it, y'all.

The car’s at a repo lot with the other hijacked cars, all of which have been compacted. So not car thieves, then. Kasie uses the salvageable bits to reverse-hack the hacker, hijacking his car to bring him to NCIS. And the driver of that car? Sally’s hapless attorney, Cliff.

The smartest thing Cliff does in questioning is refuse to say anything until his own lawyer gets there. He then immediately ruins that moment by blurting out that the murderer isn’t him, and he wants a deal if he’s going to give her up.

For the record, there are plenty of skilled public defenders out there. Cliff just isn’t one of them.

Related: The 25 essential NCIS episodes

Anyway, the her in question turns out to be new widow Ashley, who dated Cliff before marrying Mason and his iron-clad prenup. Naturally, the only way out for her was to stage a series of carjackings that ended in murders to make it look like Mason died as part of a crime spree and not a very final divorce.

Oof. Ashley and Cliff deserve each other.

Parker also deserves the grace he gets from Knight for continuing to see, well, Grace, and she apologizes for being the one to tell their shared therapist about the angel conversation

Parker thanks Knight for nudging him into therapy, and when he leaves for the day through the now-deserted coffee cart patio, he sees Lily again. She’s writing on a notepad and darts away when Parker approaches her. But he’s able to read her phantom note before it disappears, leaving him holding onto thin air: “You can’t tell anyone.”

That is ominous, friends. What dredged up memories are about to explode all over Alden’s life?

Stray shots

• Gotta say, I’m loving the new patio setting the show is using this season. It’s nice to see our agents outdoors at a non-crime scene every once in a while!

• Big ol’ “awwww” at Palmer busting out Ducky’s dart board (even if he did place it right next to the door). And it’s true; Abby really did like blood spatter.

• Come back anytime, Dr. Grace! (No, but seriously, come back. Parker still needs you, and I might, too, because my car has lane assist and now I’m nervous....)

• Until next week’s fall finale, here’s hoping the NCIS building facility workers are keeping to their strict elevator button maintenance schedule!
  

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