Hi, I’m Alex. I’m 27, single, and each week I’m gonna share the best, funniest, most ridiculous – and obviously the worst – parts of my dating life so you can feel a bit less sh*t about yours!
If being on apps and going through this hellscape of a dating world in 2022 has taught me anything: beware of the ones who come on too strong, friends.
When I matched with Nick* on Hinge, I truly had no idea this would end up with me crying in my car.
At the start, he was sweet, very complimentary, and very keen from the first few days that we chatted.
We dove into deep conversations, there were good morning calls most days that started with “my day is better because now I’m hearing your voice” from him, and then the excited anticipation of getting to meet and see if the physical chemistry matched the digital chemistry.
I was smitten.
Within a couple of days, we were… enjoying our phone calls a lot.
He had a huge 'vocabulary'.
Within two weeks, we’d decided it was time to meet for real, and he offered to visit.
I was so excited.
It was all arranged – he’d leave work on Friday afternoon, make the 90-minute drive and we’d spend the weekend together.
On the day, we were texting constantly.
“I can’t wait to actually get to kiss you.”
I spent the entire day with butterflies. I had told my friends, they were excited for me, and everything was going fine.
He was set to get to my place at 7pm. I had an appointment at 4.30pm so I knew I wouldn’t be able to be on my phone when he sent the “I’m on my way!” text.
I checked in anyway.
“Hey! So excited to see you. Heading into the appt now, should be home by 6:30. I’ll see you when you get here.”
“I can’t wait to see you. I’m just dropping the dogs at my parents’ house and then heading down. I’ll be there around 6:45.”
It was all set.
I went in for my appointment and couldn’t look at my phone, but it was all sorted, right?
He’d just told me he was on his way!
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
An hour and a half later, I walked out of the appointment, got into my car and checked my phone.
User not found.
“Hey, is everything ok?”
Message could not be delivered.
“Nick, are you getting this?”
I thought it had to be some sort of glitch.
I tried sending another message.
I drove home. I waited for 6.45pm to roll around. Then 7pm. Then it was 8pm, and nothing had happened.
He’s been in a car accident. Something’s really wrong. He wouldn’t just disappear, right? He was the one who wanted to come down for this.
I called my best friend when she texted me asking if he was as cute in person.
“I think he blocked me.”
That was it. The tears started. Tears over a guy who I had only spoken to via text for two weeks. Who had made insane declarations and had spent the last 48 hours winding up the anticipation beyond anything I had expected.
A very wise woman (aka aforementioned best friend who has to put up with me complaining about my dating life constantly) once told me something you should hear too: overly sexual conversations pre-meeting that don’t result in a meet-up quickly – as in, that night – often leave people nervous, embarrassed, and likely to unmatch.
It’s great if there’s excitement and anticipation, but when you’re being love-bombed, or at least, lust-bombed early on, there’s a chance that there’s very little follow-through on the horizon.
I think she’s right – the evidence in my experience points to it.
And I get it – being on dating apps can mean you’re craving company, attention, and touch, it’s easy to fall into the rabbit hole of sexting early on – but don’t let it dupe you into thinking that this is necessarily going to happen.
Obviously, there will be exceptions, but reader, protect yourself.
And as exciting as it all sounds – don't get ahead of yourself!
*Names have been changed
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