Men Are Sharing The Red Flags They See Other Men Do All The Time

Between men in power suggesting the workforce needs more "masculine energy" and a man who was found liable for sexual abuse — and who has also been accused of sexual misconduct by 27 women — holding the highest office in the United States, it's a difficult time to be a woman right now.

While the broligarchy proceeds without much repercussions, I especially appreciate the men right now who are not complicit and unafraid to call another man out on their bullshit, especially when they're being creepy, sexist, inappropriate, or even dangerous towards women (or anyone, for that matter).

So, being that there's been a lot of unchecked "red flag" behavior going on these days, I thought I'd ask men to share with us the immediate red flags they notice in other men, whether they've witnessed or called it out in situations themselves.

Here's everything they shared:

1."Sending copious misogynistic memes, borderline incel shit, under the guise of 'comedy' with themes such as 'If she says…' or 'When your girlfriend…,' all of which play on such tired and insulting gender tropes. Like, bro, who hurt you so bad? Does it all come back to mommy?"

2."'What's wrong with Dad slapping some sense into his kids? I grew up like that, and I turned out just fine!' No, buddy. No, you didn't."

—moncynnes

3."I have no problem with a man expressing admiration for a woman, but my red flag is when they go sexually explicit. Nobody wants to hear what you would do to that woman if you had the chance."

—doe3507966

4."Men who flip out over the smallest thing. Men who act like everything that happens in the house is a woman's job. Men who constantly need alcohol or a cigarette or any other chemical dependence to 'calm down.' Men who can't talk without cursing every other word and men whose only feeling is anger. Men who can't take responsibility for their actions. My only shock as a Man is that #MeToo took so long to happen."

—jgcromwell

5."I had a coworker who said, when the Williams sisters were at their peak, that he could easily defeat either of them in tennis. I replied that he couldn't come close, and he said, 'Dude, no problem!! They're just women; they are much weaker and slower than me.' He wasn't even remotely a club tennis pro. He was an IT Operator who'd recently left the USMC after 14 years."

6."Guys in pickup trucks tailgating. Even worse when they 'roll coal.' What are they thinking (if they think at all)."

—comfycrab363

7."I'm a veteran. I don't need to make a big deal about what I did or didn't do; I don't need guns or big trucks with my enlisted record brief (ERB) on them to define me. These things reek of narcissism. 'Alpha male' is a myth, and the ones who yell the loudest are usually either completely lying or grossly compensating. Just be cool, man."

—Anonymous

8."Any ex-military guy who blames acting like a drunk idiot on PTSD. As a war vet, it drives me insane. If it happens here and there, I understand. When it happens every time they drink, I hate to break it to you, but it isn't PTSD."

—shywalrus37

9."An ex-friend and I would often go to a bar to grab a drink after he got off work. One day, while headed there, he blurts out that I'm going to be his 'wingman.' What? So I say to him that I'm no one's 'wingman,' especially not yours because you have a GIRLFRIEND! Don't try that shit with me! Bro, what's wrong with you?"

10."Guys that are emotionally unavailable with their girlfriends or partners. You're not 'a man' because you never address or open up about your feelings. I see time and time again men unwilling to address their emotions, or even traumas, writing off help or therapy as 'weak.' Thus, they inflict more harm on themselves and their relationships. It's not cool, and it's not your girlfriend's job to fix you. My advice is to get help and thank yourself later."

—Anonymous

11."Any kind of cheating or harassment."

—metrofan

12."I don't have a specific instance, but there are super clear red flags that I believe often go unnoticed. At the beginning of a relationship, if you believe your man is really nice and loving because of the way he treats you, stop looking at just the way he treats you and look at how he treats and talks about other people. A big indicator of jealousy is how he talks about other men, especially other men in his/your circle. Does he put them up or put them down? Lots of jealous/insecure men will talk down to other men. The way he treats others is indicative of how he may treat you after the honeymoon phase of the relationship."

And lastly:

13."I suck with terminology, but I think it falls under objectification? Whatever you call it, it's when a woman walks away (or even just walks past) in professional or otherwise completely unromantic settings, and the sleazeballs lean over to me with some comment of how hot she is or what they'd 'like to do to her.' I guess if you're a guy you're supposed to naturally agree and bump fists over it? I was always disgusted by it when I worked in the trades. When I started college, some of my old colleagues would say stuff like, 'I bet you're loving it around all those hot college girls.'"

Welp, I'm disgusted by that last one, yet, at the same time, find it all too familiar. Can y'all stop talking about women like that? The least you can do is not be a fucking creep.

K, bye! This timeline sucks. Men, got any others to add? Let us know in the comments or at this anonymous form.

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.