Mel B details harrowing suicide attempt

Content warning

Mel B has revealed harrowing details of her suicide attempt back in 2014, when she swallowed 200 pills in a bid to end her life.

The Spice Girls singer recalled how she felt ‘emotionally battered’ and wanted to escape her marriage to then-husband Stephen Belafonte, who she feared would attempt to ‘ruin’ her career and ‘destroy’ her family.

In an excerpt from her upcoming memoir ‘Brutally Honest’ published in The Sun, Mel opened up about the low point in her life.

“As each pill goes into my mouth, I ask myself: ‘Are you sure?’ and I take another one. Ten, 20, 50, 100. ‘Are you sure?’” she wrote.

“I felt ugly and detested by the very man who once promised to love and protect me, my husband and manager Stephen.

“A man who after ten years of marriage now had a library of sex tapes that could — as we both well knew — ruin my career and destroy my family.”

Mel went on to reveal that she wrote ‘frantic’ notes to her eldest daughter Phoenix, detailing how she wanted her to take her younger siblings to live in Leeds with their grandmother.

But Mel eventually realised she wanted to make her ‘life count’ and tried desperately to get out of her hotel room.

“As soon as I’d swallowed that last pill, I knew I didn’t want to go anywhere. ‘Melanie! What the f**k are you doing? Get a grip’.”

She went on to say that she knew she had to get the pills out of her stomach before it was too late but the door in her room was jammed.

The Stop singer – who also confessed to taking six lines of cocaine a day during that period –remembers few details about what happened next, but she was left bruised from throwing herself at the room door and eventually woke up in hospital, where she was confronted by her ‘furious’ eldest daughter, Phoenix, now 19.

She said Phoenix was ‘shaking, full of rage’ and Mel remembers it as ‘the saddest moment of my life’.

“All I ever want is for her to know how sorry I am, how lost I was and how I’ll never, ever abandon her again,” she wrote.

“Looking at my daughter — distraught, devastated, angry — was the moment I knew the fightback had to start.”

Mel – who also has Angel, 10, with Eddie Murphy, and seven-year-old Madison from Stephen – missed the following night’s episode of ‘The X Factor’, on which she was a judge, but returned for the final the evening after, where she chose a dress and hair style to show off her injuries, and removed her wedding ring in order to send a message to her spouse.

Three months later, the ‘America’s Got Talent’ judge filed for divorce from Stephen after almost 10 years of marriage.

If you are concerned about the mental health of yourself or a loved one, seek support and information by calling Lifeline on 13 11 14, Mensline on 1300 789 978, or Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800