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MAFS' Ella Ding gets candid about sex toy addiction: 'Six times a night'
Self-love is a high priority for former MAFS star Ella Ding, who went into detail about her relationship with sex toys on the latest episode of her Sit With Us podcast.
Chatting candidly with her co-host and fellow Married at First Sight bride Domenica Calarco, Ella confessed she's been regularly using a vibrator for the better part of the last decade, saying "[they're] so much fun, last night I got off four times".
Ella, 28, is a big believer in women taking the time to get to know and understand their own bodies and what they do and don't like in bed, so they can effectively communicate that with a partner and ultimately have better sex.
However, she did have a word of warning about letting vibrator use get out of hand after she used one "religiously for five years straight, every single night, six times a night," to the point where it became a bit of a problem.
"I became heavily reliant on it, addicted to it," she explained on the podcast, "[And] the settings rapidly increased."
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"You've gotta be really careful because I basically made my clit desensitised to anything from a man. It just wasn't feeling good because I got so used to the pressure and strength of the vibrator."
The impact it was having on her sexual relationships prompted Ella to put her vibrator aside for a couple of years to give herself a chance to regain her sensitivity by going "manual".
She's since jumped back on the sex toy bandwagon and says she now practices edging for stronger orgasms and to avoid desensitisation.
When one listener raised concerns about the desensitisation Ella experienced in a comment on Instagram, the beautician clarified that it was a long time ago and "it was because I was so used to the strength of the vibration and no other pressure could make me climax".
She also mentioned in the podcast that she is someone who needs clitoral stimulation rather than just vaginal penetration to climax, and that it took years for her to learn how to orgasm during sex.
The surprising benefits of a little self-love
Sydney Sex Coach Georgia Grace says masturbation is an important tool and encourages her clients to learn about their bodies.
"It gives you all this information that you can bring into a sexual experience with someone else," she tells Yahoo Lifestyle sex columnist Ebony Leigh.
She adds that there are also a host of benefits you get from a little self-love including better sleep and stress release.
"If we're looking at orgasm, it is the releasing of endorphins and feel-good neurochemicals like oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin that can support you in feeling really good, boosting your mood and relieving stress," she explains.
"A lot of people identify that when they're stressed, masturbation is a really great thing for them to do because they have that surgence of feel-good neurochemicals and they feel like they can get on with their day."
In her Off Limits column for Yahoo Lifestyle, Ella's co-star Domenica says taking the time to set the scene for a self-love session is important.
"Dim the lights and put on some of your favourite tunes to get you in the mood," she says, "I also recommend having a hot shower beforehand, or better yet a bath!"
"Get yourself in the mood by doing the things that not only make you relaxed but help you to get in touch with your inner god/goddess."
Of course masturbation is only one part of self-love, and in the podcast episode, Ella says she also regularly uses positive self-talk in front of a mirror as part of her self-love routine.
One thing she makes an effort to do each week is tell herself a different thing she loves about herself.
"At the end of the day you can't rely on anyone else to make you feel obsessed with yourself," she said.
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