"I'm 63 Years Old And So Lonely" — Older People Are Sharing The Realities Of Being A "Senior" In Today's Society, And It's Something Everyone Should Read

Quora user Dane Clarke recently posed a very thought-provoking question on the platform. They asked: "I'm 63 years old and so lonely. Does it matter to anyone?"

Here is what people responded with:

"I have been there; I found myself alone. My son no longer needed me to be around for him anymore. I did a few things I shouldn't have done but eventually got back on track and did a lot of soul-searching. I decided to go back to work part-time. I was very apprehensive at first but it was just a little convenience store job. Turns out it was the best thing that I could have done for myself! I got to know my neighbors and all the people who lived around me, too. I highly recommend you do something simple that takes your mind off of yourself. Be it working with animals, helping another older adult, giving somebody a ride to a doctor's appointment, or walking somebody's dog. There are a myriad of things you can do for free and things you can do to make money."

"I’m 67. I have a friend who was always telling me how much she enjoyed her senior apartment. Finally, I did it. I got rid of most of my stuff, and I have a nice one-bedroom apartment. I don’t have to worry about yard work, or snow, or fixing things..."

"I'm a 72-year-old woman. Unfortunately, this can be the case for many, especially these days. It used to be that multigenerational families lived together, but now, in modern times, everybody is on their own. I don’t know what to tell you because I’m sure you’ll find, as I did, that it’s difficult to blend your life with someone else's at this stage. Once you are living alone for a time, you develop habits that make it so that you likely won’t want to after a while. So you learn to be happy and alone, or you become miserable and alone. I want to enjoy my last days, so I choose happy and try not to worry too much."

"I normally never answer these but your question really hit me. Because it is something I used to ask myself every single day, and still do sometimes. I wish I had some suggestions on how to fix things for you… but I'm 38 years old and am so unbelievably lonely that I can't go a week without getting a bit teary-eyed because of it. Clearly if I knew how to beat the loneliness, I would have. But the second part of your question prompted me to reply. Because yes, people DO care. We may not know one another, but I care a great deal. Seeing or hearing about others struggling with the same feelings that have haunted me my entire life is heart-wrenching for me. ESPECIALLY the loneliness..."

"I am almost 62. It sucks, doesn’t it? I was in business, volunteered, hosted parties, and spent time with friends. Family reunions were at my house. I did the work. I was super mom. The kids were at my house. I loved it. But once the time is gone, they are gone. Do I sound bitter? Maybe! I decided to make myself happy and turn negative into positive. I will have slip-up days, but it has helped. Take a day to go out to eat. Go to the library. Ask if places take volunteers. You are on your way. Check-in with one old friend a week. Set goals. It’s up to you. Change life! ❤️"

"I'm 71 years old and retired five years ago. I moved 200 miles away to be closer to my daughter. I knew absolutely nobody in this area. Five years later, I know my neighbors. I belong to a wonderful little congregation with many friends there. I go to the local grocery store, where there are friendly customers and staff. I have a friend who moved here a year ago and only has maybe two friends. Nobody is going to come to you. Go out and find a church family, join a gym, go for walks, and talk to your neighbors. Don't spend your senior years being sad. Enjoy every day you have left. If you lived near me, I would be your friend. If you're friendly, people remember you. I hope this helps."

"You have two choices in life. Be happy or be sad. You are in control of your life. If you are lonely and don't want to be, then you have to do something about it. You have so much you can contribute to life. Try to start filling your calendar with activities. If you are still active, then join a sport. If not, volunteer at a local hospital. You're in this world for a reason; you just have to put aside your own feelings and get involved with life again. The world needs you."

"I'm 70 years old. My precious wife of 41 years died this past January. I still feel like my world exploded. My kids and grandkids stay in touch and try to keep me from being lonely. But in reality, when they go home, I am still alone in an empty house that is filled with memories and love. I have friends and I have family but I have never felt so alone in my whole life. I'm a disabled veteran, and for years, my wife went to every doctor's appointment with me. I have been sober 43 years because of her. We were together 24/7 for years. As I write this through my tears, this thread touched me. So I tell each of you, if you are lonely, you can change that. Put a smile on your face and go out and meet new people and make new friends. Allow yourself to feel joy and happiness and, most of all, learn to love yourself."

"I am also 63. I am mostly retired but clean and manage two Airbnbs. I work a few hours a week as a home caregiver. I also have a 15-year-old son. I exercise a few days a week at the gym. I have a couple of good friends and great neighbors. I can't say I am lonely because I kind of chose my quiet lifestyle. I worked in the 'rat race' all my life and never got to enjoy my home. My biggest problem is that I feel guilty for having time to relax and sleep late. I don't have to rush around, and for some reason, I feel guilty about that or that I'm not producing. I miss the years when my son was young; we had so much fun. He's a great teenager but has his friends now and doesn't want to do much with his momma anymore."

Have thoughts or want to add some advice? Let us know in the comments!

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.