Home and Away's Sophie Dillman reveals the question she's sick of fans asking

Sophie Dillman is a columnist for Yahoo Lifestyle Australia. Sophie will be bringing insider insights into everything from her time on Home and Away to what it's like being in the public eye and falling in love in the workplace.

The number one question I get asked - When will I have a baby? It honestly surprises me how often this question comes up, and from who.

I am asked when I am going to have a baby every interaction I have with the media, fans and even strangers on the street, who don’t know what I do for work. My point being is I am not special being asked this question. I believe still, in 2023 this is the question that plagues young women their entire childless existence. I do think (THINK) we are past the belief that women belong in the home; but it is evident that society still sees having a child as the pinnacle in a women's life.

Why is it only women are asked that question?

I know for a fact that Paddy never gets that interview question if I am not around, because it is still ingrained in our world that men have more to life than reproducing, but women do not.

Being on television five days a week for so many years means that you have fans who are very invested in your life. I am so incredibly grateful for those people. They see you so often they believe they know you, and I have been very open in the media about so many aspects of my life and health. However, what if I was struggling with infertility? What if I didn’t want children? How are you meant to tell perfect strangers or journalists those things without being affected?

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Can't find any positives

If I am really honest I do not know how parents do it. Every article I read about pregnancy says its far from magical... more like hell.

Then comes the politics of childbirth, sleeping patterns, going back to work, dummies and breastfeeding. Sh*t if I have just grown another human inside me, you best believe I am going to decide what’s best.

Then comes sleepless nights, parental leave, endless sickness, feeding schedules - all of which no one ever talks about in a positive light. The business of raising children needs a new marketing team because I can’t find ANY positive resources floating around right now.

Of course, finances also must be considered. I currently live in a one-bedroom apartment and the rent is obscenely expensive, how will I ever afford the back yard, the education, the holidays that I was given in my childhood?

What about my career?

These fears are then followed by the career sacrifice. Women in the workforce have to take time off to give birth and look after their babies because they have to push them out and feed them, there is no other option. This puts women behind in the career ladder, without income for a period of time and then having to juggle motherhood and heading back into the workforce.

The added layer of complexity for me is that my appearance matters in my work. I can’t play a non-pregnant woman at 8 months pregnant, there is only so much a flowy dress can hide. Additionally, I will have a very different body post having a child which may also change the roles I can get - yet another change on top of becoming a mother.

It’s a lot to think about and if I am honest with myself, I am not ready to think about it. I absolutely want to have a family one day, but it isn’t really anyone's business except mine. Women are the reason we got to space, wash our hands to get rid of germs, Monopoly and Rock and Roll! We have a lot more to offer then a time frame for our reproductive decisions.

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