How to talk to children about terrorism

With so much horror in the media right now, your children may have questions for you about what they've seen, heard, or been told. We ask the experts how to talk to young ones about the violent happenings around the world, and ways to put angst at rest.

Address your own fears

Before you speak to your children about what they see in the news, put your own fears and worries to bed first. “Children absorb everything around them,” psychologist Jacqui Manning told Yahoo7 Health. “They are particularly sensitive to how their parents react to situations, so firstly address your own anxiety and stress.”

Create a calm environment

Divert your child's attention from the violent images on the news with some calming activities. “Go for a walk, bake, do some colouring in, or run a bubble bath for everybody,” says Manning. “Then when you are ready to talk to them, everybody will be breathing slowly and calmly.”

More: Father's conversation with son following Paris attacks will restore your faith in humanity

Turn off the TV and social media

We now live in a 24-hour news cycle, and whether it's the TV, radio, internet or social media, we have non-stop access to what's going on in the world. “Reducing your family's news intake during worrying times is a good idea,” says Manning. “As our news is constantly repeated on a loop, this can be very confusing for children; they think that events are constantly happening and unfolding, which can make a scary event seem even more momentous. And if you don't want them to hear the news, then keep the TV or radio turned off, even in the background. Children are always listening.”

Ask your children questions

It's a good idea to find out how much your child already knows, advises Manning. “They don’t need to know every detail of a news event, but they might have questions, so answer them honestly and simply, to their age-appropriate level,” she says. “It's up to you if you want to provide more information, but it's usually best to give your children information as and when they ask for it. This may be every day, next week, or months down the track, as they process the information you gave them, and whether they have further questions.”

Focus on the helpers

“Acknowledge the distress and pain that the victims will have gone through, but divert their attention to something constructive,” she says. “This way they won't focus on the ‘bad guys’, but the ‘good ones’”. A great example is to show your children a video of the pianist who played John Lennon's ‘Imagine’ the day after the attack, or the huge array of flowers left throughout Paris for the victims. “There’s a beautiful quote: ‘Look for the helpers – there are always helpers’, and focus on the police, medical staff and public who have, and are, helping the victims. This will give your child a sense of control over the situation, that there are always people around to help.”

Explain how the media works

“Point out to your child that they are likely to see more images of the horrible event on TV, rather than the positive, behind-the-scene activities,” says Sally-Anne McCormack, a child and adolescent psychologist. “By showing your children how the media works, they will come to question what they see and read, in order to grasp the whole picture.”

More: Reporter breaks down on air during Paris attacks broadcast

Make a list of the good people you know

“By helping your child understand that there is more good than bad in the world, you'll empower them to choose a positive reality,” says Parent Coach Dina Cooper. “Say: ‘I'm so glad we have lots of good people around us aren't you?’. This helps to remove the fear and provides your children with a more positive outlook.”

Related:

Six steps to less anxiety
Simple act of kindness makes mum's flight with baby unforgettable