Yahoo Lifestyle The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Jan. 11-17)
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded as X, their humor lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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I’m currently doing this challenge called January. Where you just try to make it through every day of January.
— Kristen (@Kica333) January 16, 2025
“Gag order” is such a cunty legal term. Like fuck yes, your honor, gag her!!
— L (@TheHabibiBarbie) January 11, 2025
(australian voice) i just saur naursfauraurtaur
— sarah (@sandwichlover7) January 12, 2025
They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) January 13, 2025
every time the universe sends me a sign, i'm like ok but i think i'll wait for a signier sign
— ً (@niahdx) January 16, 2025
great mom text about her book club. pic.twitter.com/v4CSr9E9mx
— samantha (@babymyapologies) January 11, 2025
hate when people ask “why is it called silence of the lambs?” like did you hear any fucking lambs during the movie ??? use your head
— e l l a (@blondehotcoffee) January 11, 2025
described my dog as a “man of few words” and the uber driver didn’t laugh. gonna open the door on the freeway.
— erin (@ratsnotagain) January 12, 2025
i hear that sitting next to your book while fucking around on your phone is basically the same as reading
— rax ‘levon honkers’ king (@RaxKingIsDead) January 12, 2025
i was asking my friend wtf he did as a kid cus he cant swim, cant skate, nvr played an instrument, did sports, and he gon say “Lauren I was in a gang” pic.twitter.com/BjdNAs4zgy
— Your OG 🐩 (@LRNROSE) January 13, 2025
stand up straight, you’re in the presence of an AMC A-List member
— bird solidarity (@future_liz) January 15, 2025
You're telling me a penguin actually wrote all these classics??
— mariana (@pastapilled) January 13, 2025
Heard a man say “my best friend at the time” like ok diva
— Audrey Kaufman (@KaufmanAudrey) January 16, 2025
alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. but you're not gonna like the performance
— trash jones (@jzux) January 15, 2025
getting your period after a night of crying just feels so good like i knew i wasn’t a weak bitch, it’s just hormones
— Vv (@kangbiitna) January 16, 2025
my bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 15, 2025
Having a January birthday must turn someone into the joker
— eve (@bubblegumbword) January 13, 2025
proverbs are so mean. like i don't deserve any worm because i woke up at 11am? like no worm at all
— atrophy wife 🎀 (@zuza_real) January 13, 2025
ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby like and flop around for a while.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) January 16, 2025
When my husband goes to the store and he's desperately trying to reach me, he sends messages to the TV. pic.twitter.com/DdFCnvQvGi
— Tola | Travel Creator (@LivingWithTola) January 12, 2025
forgetting your headphones at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times
— alora (@alorazei) January 16, 2025
i just don’t think teenagers reading smut is a big deal. when i was a teenager i read a 100 chapter fanfiction where blaine anderson from glee had dissociative identity disorder. that was probably worse for me
— noa (@thenoasletter) January 12, 2025
if i were a drug dealer i’d use these thingys pic.twitter.com/iCsFQ7SxDs
— jynx (@jynxbby) January 13, 2025
I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.
— 𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚗 𝙼𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚜 (@SkinMuffins) January 13, 2025
so i’m paying $50 just to go? pic.twitter.com/BWuGZZzujR
— 𝒴 (@ysmammri) January 16, 2025
Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts
— callie actually (@myfriendcallie) January 12, 2025
Fourth child going to be named Participation Ribbon https://t.co/onNdPXgpxC
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) January 15, 2025
hey bartender can you line up 17 shot glasses and fill them with different types of soup
— erica (@ericanextdooor) January 15, 2025
sort of miss the days when you’d tweet “I like pancakes” and a human would reply “oh, so you hate waffles” instead of twelve AI bots responding with “pancakes are an enjoyable food”
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) January 12, 2025
aspartame will not give me cancer because diet coke can sense I'm pure of heart
— meeka (@MeekyBlinders) January 12, 2025
