Dave Matthews' Mom Valerie Dies at 89: 'Kindness, Graciousness and Humor Shone Through to the End'

Dave Matthews’ mother Valerie, an architect and social activist who overcame personal tragedy to appreciate the joys in life, has died. She was 89.

Valerie died at her home in Charlottesville, Va. on Sunday, Feb. 9 after a battle with Alzheimer's disease, according to an online obituary published on Tuesday, Feb. 18.

Her death came just over a week after Matthews, 58, pulled out of a scheduled performance at the FireAid benefit concert in Los Angeles on Jan. 30, citing a “critical illness in the family.”

“Val’s children, grandchildren and great-grandchild were able to gather around her in the days leading up to her death. It was a time of great sadness but also one of joy, filled with laughter and music and stories,” her obituary read. “Val’s kindness, graciousness and humor shone through to the end. Her family will always treasure this time together.”

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Valerie was born in Potchefstroom, South Africa to a geologist and an artist, and earned a degree in architecture from the University of Witwatersrand in Johannesburg.

She married John Matthews in 1961, and the family — along with their children Dave, Peter, Anne and Jane — settled in Charlottesville when John’s work brought him to the University of Virginia. The couple was married for 15 years before John's death at age 45 of Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

Tragedy struck once more for Valerie in 1994, when her daughter Anne, 29, was killed by her husband, who later died by suicide, leaving behind their two young children.

“Although devastated by Anne’s death, Val stepped into the breach, gaining custody of her grandchildren and bringing them back to Charlottesville, where they were embraced by extended family,” the obit says. “Val did not allow tragedy or grief to define her. She rejoiced in family and friends, and delighted in simple pleasures.”

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Valerie worked at the firm of Hayward, Llorens, and Boyd until she retired in 1994, and she loved nature, poetry and watercolor paintings, according to her obit.

“Val was a passionate advocate for peace, environmental conservation, marriage equality, and women’s rights, never afraid to use her voice,” her obit says. “She spoke out against racism, bigotry, and small-mindedness through social activism and frequent letters to the editor.”

She is survived by Dave and his wife Ashley, son Peter and his wife Kathleen, daughter Jane and her husband Sam, six grandchildren and one great-grandson. She was predeceased by John, Ashley and her second husband, Lee Strait, whom she married in 1991. He died of a stroke in 2000.

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