"I Would Cry In The Closet": Amy Adams Shared Ways She Would Hide Her Motherhood Struggles From Her Family

Amy Adams spoke candidly about her motherhood journey and some of the personal battles she fought alone because of it.

In a new interview with People, Amy opened up about the realities of being a new mom, her desire to keep her struggles private, and how her experience related to her new film Nightbitch.

The upcoming black comedy, which was adapted from Rachel Yoder's novel of the same name, features Amy as a painter who puts her career on hold to be a stay-at-home mom. The overwhelming demands of motherhood transform her mentally, emotionally, and ultimately physically.

“One of the things I really deeply identified with was not wanting to share with people that you were struggling, wanting to be like, 'No, I've got it under control. I can do it.’ Wanting so badly to be good at everything,” she told People.

Amy and her husband Darren Le Gallo have a 14-year-old daughter named Aviana Olea Le Gallo. In past interviews, she's praised her husband for selflessly putting his career aside so that she could continue to pursue hers: “He has sacrificed a lot," Amy said. "But he travels with me and helps to keep the family together, and I really do appreciate that. But I don’t value it because he’s a man doing it, I value it because he’s my partner. My husband is an extremely competent caregiver.”

Amy shared how difficult it was when she returned to work just a few months after giving birth in 2010, describing the situation as "really surreal." At the time, she was filming 2011’s The Muppets and promoting The Fighter.

“I wasn’t sleeping because I was up with her at night. I was tired, but also I felt so different. I know the world didn’t see me differently. But I felt it very internally that something had shifted.”

“Watching it all sort of fall apart because I wasn’t communicating what I really needed…just burning the candle at both ends until you can only do that for so long, and doing what I call closet crying. You never want anybody to see you cry, so I would cry in the closet, which just paints such a sad picture, but I don’t think I’m alone in that.”

The Oscar-nominated actor revealed she found her footing again when Aviana was around 3 or 4. Looking to make a change, she sat down with her hubby to map out a strategy to move forward positively.

“He stepped up a lot too,” she notes. “Once I got over my own shame at not being perfect at all of this, I really think I was able to have more open communication about not just what I needed but what I felt would benefit our family as a whole.”

In fact, Amy has always prided herself on keeping her family in mind whenever she takes on a project by gauging their opinions and feelings on all that would come with it, including the topic matter and relocating.

“Before I take a job, we sit down [as a family] and have a meeting: ‘Here’s what it will look like. Here’s the traveling. How do we feel about that?’"

“We've been talking about it since she was quite young: 'How do you feel about spending a summer in Boston?' Or, 'How do you feel about coming to England with me when I do the play?' And I'm really lucky she's got a lot of wanderlust and she loves traveling."

This entire conversation was so beautiful. From her vulnerability to her willingness to make a change, I'm so happy Amy is in a better place.

To learn more about Amy, be sure to read her full People interview.