Confessions of a first-time mummy: 'Don’t comment on my bump!'

Ever heard the saying: “Never judge a book by its cover?” Pah. So many people say it, yet so little people live by it. Society nowadays is at its worst for scrutiny and competition.

Your clothes, your education, your face, your size, your shape, your diet, your dialect, your car, your job, where you grew up, your mistakes, your successes, your friends, your dreams, your nightmares; all of these have now become the things that “define” you, apparently.

I’m five months pregnant and all of the pictures below were taken this week.

<em>Photo: Amy Maria Roberts</em>
Photo: Amy Maria Roberts

According to pregnancy websites and all of these ridiculous motherhood forums, I should have a bump by now. If you look at my internet history you’ll probably find my most-searched phrases recently are: “I don’t have a bump yet, is this normal?”, “Why don’t I have a bump yet?”, “When will I get a bump?”, “Has my baby stopped growing?”

I did some research into why my baby bump hasn’t “popped” yet and apparently having an inverted pelvis (which I do have) can slow down the process because your bump is effectively growing inside you until your pelvis eventually tips forward at around 18 weeks.

I went to the gym every day pre-pregnancy so my abs are super strong meaning my baby and abs are fighting against each other. Eventually baby will win and my abs will separate.

I spent the first 18 weeks being sick almost every day and I lost a good two stone meaning I’m still not up to my pre-pregnancy starting weight.

<em>Photo: Amy Maria Roberts</em>
Photo: Amy Maria Roberts

And then I got thinking: I shouldn’t have to explain myself to anyone. You wouldn’t walk down the street and say to a stranger: “Gosh you’re tiny!” or “Your belly is quite big…”

What gives people the right to comment on my body just because I’m having a baby?

The same applies to women whose bumps are on the larger side or those who ‘pop’ in the first trimester. “Are you SURE you’re not having twins?” “You’re going to have a big baby!”

Do you know how rude and patronising that it? Women have enough worries to contend with throughout their pregnancy, let alone someone putting more ideas into their head.

<em>Photo: Amy Maria Roberts</em>
Photo: Amy Maria Roberts

But it’s not just strangers, friends and family. My midwife said to me at my last appointment: “I would expect you to put on about two and a half stone by the end of your pregnancy.”

**insert eye roll here**

To be honest, I took it with a pinch of salt because I’m sorry but she doesn’t know how my body works, she doesn’t know how much water weight I’m going to carry, she doesn’t know how fast my metabolism is, she doesn’t know how sick I’m going to be over the next four months; yet these are stats that medical professionals base every patient on.

As far as I’m concerned, as long as my baby is growing every week and we’re both healthy then I don’t care if I put one stone or three stone on.

To be honest, I’m even more protective of my body since I’ve fallen pregnant because it’s housing the greatest gift I’ll ever have in this lifetime.

So, please, before you comment on a pregnant woman’s body, think first! She may be growing a baby but it’s still her body, her anxiety is sky high and her hormones are all over the shop.

And to all the mummies out there wondering why their bump is so big or where their little one is hiding, just know you’re beautiful, your body is beautiful and your baby is beautiful!

You got this.

Visit Amy’s blog: Amy Maria Roberts.

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