Yahoo Lifestyle "I'd Be F—ing Traumatized! This Is So Twisted And Wrong": Parents Everywhere Are Losing It After Kids Were Sent Home Crying All Because Of One Mom's Decision At Her Daughter's Birthday Party
Warning: Intense teddy bear drama ahead.
This original story appeared on Reddit six years ago. However, TikToker @unpluggedmoments just resurfaced the thread — and her video has nearly 10 million views. Now, tons of people are enraged and sharing their thoughts about this situation.
Reddit user u/namenerd77 explained that she took her 6-year-old daughter to a birthday for a friend of hers at school. "The party was being held at Build-A-Bear, but it wasn’t run by the employees. We had cake and pizza in the food court, then went to Build-A-Bear to make bears, then back to friend's house for the rest of the party."
The mom explained that there were eight kids total and the birthday invitation said each kid would get to make a bear. "Me and my husband even pitched in about $30, as we know these things can get expensive," she said in the thread.
When they got to the store, the kids started going wild with excitement to make their bears and deck them out in accessories. "As far as I know, the parents didn’t really put a limit, but I made my daughter stick to just a standard dog with a shirt, which about half the parents did as well."
However, as they were about to leave the store, the mother of the birthday girl announced that all the kids must give their bears to her daughter.
As you can imagine, the kids displayed ranges of emotion from sad to angry. "They all disappointingly handed over their animals, and the friend wasn’t even being nice about it either. Another little boy didn’t want to, and the friend ripped it out of his hands. I probably should have said something, but I didn’t. The other parents seemed pretty baffled, too."
The parents had to then bring their bearless kids — along with their birthday gift because the bear wasn't considered the birthday gift — to the little girl's house for the rest of the party. "We get back to the friend's house, and our kids are watching as the friend plays with all her new animals. I left with my daughter pretty quickly, and once we got back into the car she started bawling. I felt bad, so we went to Build-A-Bear and got her a new one," she concludes in the thread.
She also added that the birthday girl's parents are big people in the community and always volunteer. "They are pretty rich, and do seem a little snobby and better than everyone else." So, after assuming her daughter was going to keep her Build-A-Bear, she asks other Reddit users: "I’m just wondering if this is totally normal and I should have expected this, or am I being an entitled parent?"
Right away, other parents said they would have assumed their kid got to keep the bear they made as well:
"That is really weird!! I can't believe the parents made all the kids give away their bears."
"I would’ve assumed that the trip to Build-A-Bear was the 'activity' for the party. Better watch out if she invites to a future party at an indoor amusement park, you’ll have to surrender all your game tickets to Precious so she can get the best prizes for herself."
"That’s so far outside the norm, I might broach the topic with the parents, as I would be concerned they don’t understand what a breach of social custom that was."
"THEY HAVE YOU KISS THE BEAR'S HEART! That is so intimate and loving, the act of building a 'bear,' for a kid, it's the closest thing to being forced to give away their 'child.' I'd be fucking traumatized. This is so twisted and wrong."
The responses to @unpluggedmoments' TikTok had similar reactions:
Parents who hosted birthday parties at Build-A-Bear agreed etiquette is that every kids gets one:
And they agreed that if this mom was going to have her daughter keep the bears made by the kids, then it should have been disclosed upfront:
But it doesn't stop there. People also couldn't help but comment their thoughts on the fact that the kids were also expected to bring a separate gift to give the child in addition to handing over their bears:
Something that may or may not have been done on purpose:
Either way, it is clear that people don't understand why the birthday girl needed eight bears anyway:
And lastly, they think the bigger issue is the fact that the mom has likely created tension with her kid's friends now:
U/namenerd77 ended up posting an update. She confronted the birthday mom at school (renamed Karen for privacy) and here is how the convo went:
"Karen: I hope the girls enjoyed my daughter's party the other day. I know my daughter had lots of fun.
Other mom: Haha, yeah, I was actually wondering about the whole getting all the bears thing. The kids seemed pretty upset afterward.
Karen: Oh yeah, we wanted our daughter to have a special animal decorated by each of her friends.
Me: Oh, okay. I was just wondering why the kids didn’t get to keep their bears. I even pitched in a little bit of money, assuming the bears would go to the kids.
Karen: Well, I didn’t have enough money for each of the guests to make their own; that would get pretty expensive! If you want your money back, I’ll see about getting it back to you. I don’t really see the problem, though.
Me: Okay, well, the kids were forced to give away their new creations. Obviously, they are going to be upset about it. I also don’t see why your daughter needs all these animals.
Karen didn’t respond and walked away right after, probably offended.
What bothers me is she said she 'didn’t have enough money for all the kids to have one,' but she did have enough for her daughter to get eight bears. Just doesn’t really make sense.
Now, I admit I’m not the most confrontational person, so I probably should have talked to her more about it. Anyway, I guess we sort of worked it out, no one's fighting, so I’m not sure I’m going to mention it to her again. Sorry, this wasn’t the most satisfying ending. But thanks for all the love and support, it means a lot."
"If you don't have enough money for each of the kids to make and keep their own bear, then don't do a Build-A-Bear party! It basically says that she wanted to spend that money on her OWN kid, and not the kids actually building the bears. She paid for child labor for her own kid's toys effectively."
—Anonymous
"I cannot wrap my head around this situation, it is so bizarre to me. Who wants that many Build-A-Bears in their house anyway?! To me, it sounds like she knew this was weird because otherwise, it should have been very clear that the kids were making special bears for the birthday kid. I feel sorry for her kid, because I would not be going back to any parties hosted by this mom. Not to mention, she’s teaching poor etiquette to her kid."
"Karen is a bitch. And I hope that her daughter isn't negatively impacted by the behavior and choices that her mother made."
So now, I will never look at a Build-A-Bear without thinking about the little girl who got to hoard eight bears that other kids had personalized for themselves. What are your thoughts? Tell us in the comments!
