Catelynn Lowell Says She's Experienced ‘Adoption PTSD’ After Tension with Carly’s Family: ‘You Never Really Heal’ (Exclusive)

Catelynn Lowell Baltierra is figuring out a path forward.

Speaking with PEOPLE ahead of the second half of Teen Mom: The Next Chapter's second season, the girl mom opens up about losing contact with her and husband Tyler Baltierra's daughter Carly, whom they placed for adoption in 2009.

The season picks up with the realization that 15-year-old's parents have allegedly blocked Catelynn, after months of unanswered messages.

"It was difficult. For the longest time I was like, 'I think I'm pretty healed from my adoption trauma.’ I've done lots of therapy, worked on it really hard," she shares.

"And then, when all of this happened, I found myself in like a really bad place, like adoption PTSD for a few weeks to a month where it was just like randomly crying out of nowhere, [dealing with] anxiety and sadness."

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Related: Catelynn Lowell Claims Carly's Parents Have Blocked Her After 'Ignoring Her for Months': 'Makes Me Sad for the Kids'

The pain that the couple has endured in the latest part of their adoption journey has been "eye-opening" for Catelynn.

"It made me open my eyes to see that I feel like any birth parent, you never really heal from this, ever. You can work on it for years but you will always carry the hurt and sadness and sorrow for the rest of your life. And that's something really hard to like think about," she shares.

"It sucks knowing that a year from now, two months from now, or even 10 years from now, something can slap me in the face and put me back into that moment where I am saying goodbye to my child. It is horrible."

The couple is candid about their struggles with daughters Rya, 3½, Vaeda, 6 next month, and Novalee, 10.

"I think it's important that I'm open with my kids. My kids would see me crying and ask me, 'Why are you crying?' And you don't know what to say. I told her, 'I just really miss your sister,' " she says.

"I'm open with all of them about it. Thankfully, my kids do help me too. I have other things to do and I can't just be a blob of a mess forever. I have these children that I have to show up for, that I have to take to do things."

Catch up more with Catelynn and Tyler as they navigate the highs and lows of parenting when Teen Mom: The Next Chapter returns on Thursday, Jan. 30 at 8 p.m. ET on MTV.

Read the original article on People