Bride's Mother Calls Her 'Selfish' for Donating $4K Wedding Flowers to Hospital Instead of Letting Friends Take Them

"It's the principle — I don't like the idea of someone else promising my stuff to people," the bride wrote in a post on Reddit

A bride and her mother are at odds over what to do with the floral centerpieces after the wedding.

In a post on Reddit, the bride explained that she and her fiancé are paying for their own wedding and they promised the bride's mother that she could invite some of her friends. In a well-meaning gesture, the mother has enlisted these friends to help with some of the event logistics, including setting up displays and transporting some of the décor at the end of the night.

"These friends have been asking me what they can do to help, so I'm happy we will have the manpower," the bride wrote.

To thank her friends, the mother decided she would let them take home the flower arrangements after the wedding. However, the bride quickly informed her mother of her plans to donate the flowers to a local children's hospital.

Related: Bride Thinks Her 'Out-of-Control' Mom Is Trying to 'Sabotage' Her Wedding

Her mother did not take the news well. "She blew up at me, saying that the least I can do is let [her friends] have some of my flowers after they offered to help," the bride recounted.

"Which is true," she continued. "But it's the principle. I spent over $4K on these florals. I don't like the idea of someone else promising my stuff to people who offered their help to me as a favor."

She said she wishes her mother would have asked first instead of deciding to give away her wedding flowers without asking.

"At least ask me rather than tell me! I stood my ground, but I was called ungrateful and selfish in the process," she wrote, adding, "I'm sure I'll give in, but I just needed time to rein in a little control for just a moment."

She titled her Reddit post, "Are guests entitled to take home florals if they offer to help?" and invited people to weigh in on the disagreement between the pair.

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While many commenters agreed that the mother should have handled the situation better and asked permission to give the flowers to her friends, most were of the opinion that the bride should let the friends have the centerpieces as a gesture of thanks and goodwill.

"The friends didn't volunteer to help," one person wrote. "They were asked to pitch in. It's customary to offer them something to show your appreciation for their efforts. If you're not planning to pay them, the flowers are a good substitute."

Related: Bride's Mom Was So Late to Her Daughter's Wedding That She Missed the Whole Ceremony — Now the Mom is Furious

"I know you are in a power struggle with your mother, but guests directly taking things from the reception is a huge help with breaking down the venue," chimed in another Redditor. "Spread the love and help yourself out."

Yet another person wrote, "No, they’re not entitled to it and your mom doesn’t get to dictate what you do with flowers you paid for. But decide whether you want to die on this hill. Giving them to guests who helped is a nice gesture."

Several commenters also pointed out that the hospital may not even accept donations of flowers. "I would double check with the children’s hospital to make sure they allow the floral donations. I own a florist shop, and the children’s hospital in our community does not allow fresh floral deliveries."

Many people urged the bride to let this one go. "Take the labor, share the flowers. Just my 2 cents," someone wrote.

Another person said the bride would have enough to worry about on her wedding day and would be grateful in the end that the flowers were taken home by people who would appreciate them.

"I was begging people to take the centerpieces so we didn’t have to spend hours packing them up and cleaning lol," they wrote.

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